Friday,Oct 23 2009, 02:36:46 PMReason for Loving

I'm married to you because you were a woman willingly living modest with me, be a mother of my children, and be a sholihah wife, in all effort

Will I need anything more than that? I don't think so =) 

Wednesday,Sep 2 2009, 05:53:50 AMHaven't I thankful enough?

As a mother, haven't I thankful enough?

 

Perhaps it's my clumsiness and ineffectiveness of time and energy managements

 

Perhaps I would blame the unsupported supports surrounding

 

Perhaps I would give up everything and just being proud staying home, as a mother

 

Perhaps if I ever have grandchildren, and their parents are ambitiously working or obligated continuing their studies, I would dedicate my rest of my life to help raising them, I don't need anything more, right?

Perhaps it's a whole wrong idea, the need of self-actualization, the need of achieving more success and wealth, when you have your child(ren), it's your utmost properties that actually your whole-life duties are them, taking care, educating, cherishing life with them....

 

And I'm still here, whining, sometimes crying, sometimes blaming others, sometimes wishing changes happen....

 

Haven't I thankful enough?

 

I am a mother and I have my treasure - I hope I could guard this treasure well, aammiiin

(still struggling for a better me-a better mother for her....)

Wednesday,Aug 19 2009, 05:04:30 PMLittle Touchy Things

Been a very busy schedule of my sports medicine studies. I barely concern some 'obligatory' chores which were actually already a routine, that I nearly neglect them.

 

But there was him, willingly to help in every way he could. Even in the past, he purposely learned how to do any tidbits of doing my daily tasks as a working-studying-mum.

 

When I looked at the baby diaper bag-already stuffed completely. The diaper laundry-checked. The difficulty in preparing my power point presentation-overcame. The dirty slubber-done.

 

Such a super-husband-daddy, and he's here, with me, hopefully, ALLOH keep him forever with me, aammiin.

 

-lovingly written dedicated to him, kisses from Bunda and Chelsea =)-

Sunday,Jul 12 2009, 05:12:18 AMDays of Blaming Myself

After more than 10 months of being a mum, I remembered these days of blaming foolish myself of conditions happening to my daughter

 

12nd May 09-the first sub-fever my daughter had, 37.6 Celcius, with mild runny nose. It was sucessfully handled only by breastmilk, thank GOD. Apparently her upper front teeth were growing painfully (those cute shiny big teeth!)

 

18th June 09-the first (hopefully last one, aammiin) falling from the bed, with around 50cm height, landed on her backbone (ouch!!!) on the wooden floor, miraculously, no visible wound, not even any redness. After 48 hours, everything seemed normal, hopefully forever, aammiin. It was my clumsy watching for her playing on the bed, I was stupidly careless =(.

 

11st July 09-another fever, this time from 37.9 Celcius, rising to 38.2 Celcius in an hour, tried to breastfed her more and more, added water and pear puree, but she was so cranky, crying and crying that she was sleepy but not being able to sleep, poor dear =(. Finally I gave her antipiretic oral drops, it was done twice since the temperature was still 37.5 Celcius and only down for 37.4 Celcius maximum. Right now she had reached 36.5 Celcius in the morning but stull rised until 37.2 Celcius at noon. I hope she doesnt need anymore medicine, she was asleep for quite long, hopefully it made her better and better, aammiin. No idea what made her hot, but I hope it was only teething again, for she put her finger in her mouth several times before she had the fever.

 

Oh how sad to watch your treasure unwell, may Alloh get her well soon...aammiin

 

The added concerns:

Few days after 1st year birthday (beginning of september), there were days of runny nose, poor child, it needed twice antiblocked nose and antihistamine one time.

 

Few days after coming back from Jogja, 30th September 2009: another fever in the midnight just right next morning my 2nd journal presentation =(. One dose of antipiretic, and gladfully she was fine although left home with her auntie (Thank you Madina...)

 

Almost a month passed, 25th October, a day after a movie time all day at the theatre: another runny nose, lasted for few days, once antiblocked nose. Thank God it wasn't followed by any other symptoms.

 

Not yet a month, 20th November, another fever...lasted almost 48 hours, accompanied by watery runny nose, some vomits after medication (vitamin, antipiretic and antihistamine drops), and so glad before she recommended by her GrandPa antibiotics the fever was gone, alhamdulillah....

 

25th November, half eye redness with some mucous....twice artificial tears wasn't enough, so next day the antibiotic eye drop introduced. After twice the mucous was gone, but it should fulfil the course until 2 days more....God please forgive me for letting her feeling those sickness....I am so sacrifying her, in the name of my reasons of education, or laziness....Please don't make her feel any pain anymore...aammiiin

Tuesday,Apr 21 2009, 10:41:31 AMHidayah

I'm grateful that Alloh gave me hidayah to cover myself years ago, and I'm grateful I'm still doing it, hopefully forever, aammiin.

I'm not a sacred and the most religious woman in the world, flawless of any sins and mistakes, but I feel pity for they who don't do this hijab constantly. I mean, it's the basic rule to do. If you don't do the basic well, how do you expect you will do others well?

I don't know, maybe I'm just don't get it why people easily take off and put on the hijab, but I wish they realise its true meaning before easily take it off without regrets. Because it shows you are a muslimah, a woman with high dignity Alloh put you by wearing hijab....

Alloh keep this hidayah with me forever, and please make me die if I ever try to break any of YOUR rules, because I can't bear more sins to add to taste the hell....(aammiin)