Well my exams finished today and I am so damn happy....

Went shopping with the main man Simon after my exam and I do believe he bought me anything I wanted, yep, I've had my eye on a dolce and gabanna pearl bracelet for quite some time and everyone knows a pearl bracelet is more welcome than a pearl necklace (easier to wash off).  It's uber sexy and I love it, I saw it on Amazon but bought it from House of Fraser, I do believe that I am in love with it.

In my defence I did wait for him outside his work for a good 25 minutes, reading my all-time favourite glossy, The Economist and chugging down some hot chocolate (no coffee as I am a minor in mental capacity).  That John McDonnell is the MP for my hometown, Hayes and Harlington AND he presented me with an award when I was 8.

Is spending 784 English pounds on a handbag justified? Well tis done now and the bag is lovely, purchased some makeup and also some perfume too (though I cannae smell it due to being bunged up) but I do feel pretty good about myself.

Plus, I can spend Simon's money, I bought him lunch.

Every girl should have a sugar daddy, one who physically carries her when she is too tired to walk <3.

That is all.

Ich habe einen examen tomorrowen!

Ich bin shitting myself about it due to the fact that it's off campus, damn you LSE!

Anywho, pray for me, I hope I will be ok.

Had to get that out and this seemed a good enough medium as any.

• People that don't believe in showering and then sticking their armpits in my face on the tube, it doesn't take long to shower, do it!
• People who think it is ok to push past you because you are smaller than they are, I'm going to start biting ankles.
• People who push their way onto the tube because they simply MUST get the this tube as tubes are so bloody rare and you have to be in work one whole minute early.
• People who think too much of themselves, you ain't shit.
• Aforementioned people who think image is everything and how they have to dress as if they are super clever, it's a well known fact that the cleverer you are, the more low key you are.
• Girls who buy skinny jeans when they dont have the body for them, WHY?  Do you feel GOOD looking like a dickhead?  If you know they don't suit your body, don't wear them and them come telling me that people are looking at you funny.  Why be a slave to fashion if it makes you look like a dick?  Do I wear skinny jeans? No, my legs are too short, damn them!
• Fat girls who wear stuff that isn't made for them and then are constantly pulling their jeans up and the tops down, if it doesn't fit you, don't buy it, sizes were made for a reason.  I used to be a fatty myself so it's not like I don't know what I'm saying, I used to dress like a nun when I was fat.
• Girls who are fat but call themselves curvy, you aren't fooling anyone love.
• Girls who think they are footballer's wives, fake tan and jet black hair, even Victoria Beckham can't pull that look off and look at how much money she has at her disposal, if SHE can't do it, what makes you think YOU can?  You look even stupider with your blatantely fake extensions and fake yellow printed Louis Vuttion bags and the wearing of those Ugg boots with a mini skirt..BE YOUR OWN DAMN SELF.
• People who use big words because they think it makes them look clever, here's a tip..DON'T, those who know the big words will know whether you know their meaning and whether you are just showing off going on how you speak for the rest of the conversation.
• Bloody gorgeous men who don't realise how sexy they are  (I'll let you fine specimens off seeing as you are bloody gorgeous)
• Men who think they fall into the aforementioned category but actually don't and even then go on thinking as if every woman in the world will fall at their feet.
• Women and girls who wear tops with their cleavage spilling out all over the place and then get pissy when men stare, what do you fucking expect?  Don't give me that bullshit about you don't like the attention, if you didn't like it, why get them out? 
• Proscrastination, an art at which I am a master, MUST REVISE FOR FINALS, MUST!
• Women who don't dress their age, everyone knows who I am talking about, the 50 year olds dressing like they are 20..you don't need to dress like that to be sexy, and you don't look sexy dressing that way either, you look confused, cheap and easy.
• People who look down their noses at you, acting like they're super human, that they don't fart, piss or shit..wankers.
• People who put on a full face of makeup and then stare at you because you're not wearing any and your skin looks uneven..fuck off with that in my face in the morning, I can barely shower and get ready for work, let alone put my face on..I might invest in a  makeup gun, like the one Homer was advocating in the Simpsons, set it on "whore" and I'm good to go.
• Indian people who stare at you if you are with the owner of a penis..WHY? Like they have never seen a man before.
• People who see you out and then rush to your parents to tell them, "OMG, YOUR DAUGHTER HAS A LIFE, AND I SAW HER ENJOYING HERSELF" crime of the century!