Journals
Saturday,Jan 10 2009, 08:53:34 AMSOME SHORT JOKES FOR MY FRIENDS!XOX SHAKIRA
*Break Into the House*
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!"
***********
*Lost Wife*
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and
asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of
nowhere."
***********
*Teacher*
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the
sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why
do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing
up there all by yourself."
***********
*Hearing*
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
***********
*Wedding*
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of
her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment,then said, " So, why is the
groom wearing black?"
***********
* Dream*
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically
to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning of Dreams".
--------------------
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.
"You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no,no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I`ve been trying to do that for years!"
***********
*Lost Wife*
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and
asked,"You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" she asks.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of
nowhere."
***********
*Teacher*
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the
sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet."Now then mister, why
do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing
up there all by yourself."
***********
*Hearing*
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havn't told my family yet. I just sit around
and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
***********
*Wedding*
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her
mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of
her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought about this for a moment,then said, " So, why is the
groom wearing black?"
***********
* Dream*
A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically
to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for
Valentine's day! What do you think it means?"
With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."
That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his
wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to
find a book entitled - " The meaning of Dreams".
--------------------
Wednesday,Jan 7 2009, 06:00:04 PMTHE SUBTLE STUDY OF BOTH SEXES! HAVE FUN!
THE SUBTLE STUDY OF BOTH SEXES! HAVE FUN!
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS ...
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Saturday,Jul 12 2008, 02:47:38 PMHEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN
HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. ...
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Thursday,Apr 10 2008, 01:30:59 PMELEVEN CRUCIAL RULES FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!
11 CRUCIAL RULES FOR A HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP!
==========================================
ELEVEN CRUCIAL RULES FOR A HEALTHY
FRIENDSHIP ...
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Monday,Mar 31 2008, 12:35:38 PMCOSTLY BEAUTIFULLY PAINTED CATS! 1
COSTLY BEAUTIFULLY PAINTED CATS!
Time to grab the neighbor's cat and take up art!
The book these came from said ...
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