"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smile to each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."  

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up
a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and
now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker
Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Golfing
3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please
help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that
it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run
EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to
return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge
the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-
Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work
on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command
before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high
maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as
Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use
will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to
purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and
will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

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