MadCats's Homepage

MadCats's Homepage http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats Thu, 31 Dec 2009 13:40 EST Thu, 31 Dec 2009 13:40 EST Zorpia.com Will we ever be one again yayang? http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/970788 Will we ever be one again yayang? Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/970788 Mon, 10 Jan 2005 18:29 EST Vodka slowly kicking in. Been out drinking... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/539564 Vodka slowly kicking in. Been out drinking at relative's place.. Havent had a drink in ages. Tolerance levels way down. Why do i find myself looking through the past when ive sworn to only look forward. Its got Such a strong hold on me. Sigh. So many questions left unanswered. Whys, What ifs. Dont ya wish time would stand still for just a moment, so u can take a breather and decide what u truly want without making the wrong choice. Love, the hardest fight.... Confused. xx Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/539564 Sat, 21 Aug 2004 19:00 EST Waiting for the day, when i no longer have... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/520892 Waiting for the day, when i no longer have to doubt what u say is true.                                         ~patience~ Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/520892 Fri, 13 Aug 2004 10:19 EST ~Silence~ Im not sure how to explain how i... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/316623 ~Silence~ Im not sure how to explain how i feel Its so unreal So new to me Everything seems so peaceful Everything fits in its place Everything is so calm The voices in my head are now silent The pain is gone Hurting no more Im at ease with myself I feel free I appreciate beauty once more Everything seems so clear Everything, so perfect ~ Where was this serene and tranquil place hiding? Am i dreaming?Is this real? Its as though my soul has been lifted and set free. Nothing in this world could hurt me Maybe im dead? Maybe thats why everything is so clear. So perfect. So silent... Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/316623 Wed, 26 May 2004 02:42 EST Lifes a heartless bitch, deal with it. Suck... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/307448 Lifes a heartless bitch, deal with it. Suck up every emotion and lock it away. Emotions are just lies made out to look beautiful, to look harmless, but they are what tears up every feeling and every inch of ur heart. U neva really loved me. Nothing u said was ever true, so why am i so cut up about this whole situation, i really must be a fool. Heres to a new beginning. A one without lies, a one without pain and a one without u. Ull always be a part of me, but never again will u be all of me. Self proclaimed bitch.. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/307448 Mon, 24 May 2004 10:31 EST The pain is so real. I tried to push... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/299692 The pain is so real. I tried to push the thought of you out of my mind. But ive realised its impossible to do. You will always be on my mind,and i am glad for that.Cause deep in my heart i will always Love you...Always. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/299692 Sat, 22 May 2004 19:30 EST The one who used to love me with passion.... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/299657 The one who used to love me with passion. Why are we strangers when our love is strong. At night i pray,that soon ur face will fade away. Cause everytime i see that angelic face of urs,i break down and cry, and realise if u were so angelic,u wouldnt have let my heart break. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/299657 Sat, 22 May 2004 19:14 EST exams are almost over and weed is getting... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/292962 <DIR> exams are almost over and weed is getting cheaper, sun is shinning brighter and ppl are flying higher!!                           Arnt i talented!!! woot!!woot!!                                        ~Saucy sista~</DIR> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/292962 Fri, 21 May 2004 11:04 EST Once again... Im fucked up!!! What do u want... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/292489 Once again... Im fucked up!!! What do u want from me!!! U say u dont love me, u say u dont want me. What do u want from me then? Call me up, get angry cause im not "trying" hard enough. What do u want me to do? How do u expect me to try when u dont wanna live like that anymore!!! Please, have the decency to pick up the God dammed phone and tell me what it is u want!! Im Lost, Cant u see that. Im incomplete, Cant u feel that. Im empty, dont u know that!!!   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/292489 Fri, 21 May 2004 07:47 EST 18th May 2004 Woke up early today to revise... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/280446 18th May 2004 Woke up early today to revise bio psych. Got a surprise phone call at 06:26:11 am. It was accompanied by a voice i have so missed. To tip the scale, this voice sang for me. Im glad im the Reason... Bio exam went better than expected, but i think hearing your voice might have helped ease my nerves. Thank you.. Went to Weatherspoons for lunch,with Jennified, nana lea and sachet sauce master Matt.Sat out in the sun. After lunch, i lifted my head and closed my eyes as i turned towards the blue sky. When i opened my eyes, behind my tinted sunglasses, i saw u. U were faint in the blue sky, but were definately there. Made me smile. Came back to halls, then went to park to sit on the long grass and play frisby, and sit on swings. Was so peaceful, the 5 of us looked like flower children all laid in a circle which made us look like big petals of a pretty flower. Saw a couple laying on each others tummies and it took me back to when we were chillin at Atiya's place and i was hugging u while u slept. Sweet memories. Will we ever fall asleep together on grass in the sun? A thought to ponder on. Been such an eventful day that has left me drained. Once again, thank you for the call and the song. Meant so much. .. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/280446 Tue, 18 May 2004 19:05 EST Self understanding When I am asked to... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/258631 Self understanding When I am asked to describe myself, I would generally explain that I am a fun loving, sociable, active, caring, understanding, patient, honest and reliable human being. And to describe myself to others comes very easily, because I feel I know myself very well. However when I was once asked  to sit down and actually think about â€œMeâ€ and truthfully put down in words what I feel about myself, the personal description was/is not as â€œhoney coatedâ€ as I would like it to be. The lady I see staring back at me when I look at my reflection is someone who has had a great childhood, loving family, has great friends,or so she thought, a happy-go-lucky way of life, and a person who is generally satisfied with what she has. However there are always two sides to a coin. I also see someone who is unsure what she wants in life, can be bitter at times, has a sharp tongue, sarcastic and somewhat lost. She is also a highly complex creature and problematic at times. I feel as though my â€œselfâ€ is sometimes unfathomable because it sometimes lurks in the gloomy depths of the unconscious. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/258631 Fri, 14 May 2004 12:30 EST Is all hope lost? Sure as hell feels like it... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/258619 Is all hope lost? Sure as hell feels like it is. Give me the strength to get thrru these exams. Then ill deal with my future, which somehow doesnt seem very bright anymore. sigh. i gotta snap out of this form of depression. arrrhhh   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/258619 Fri, 14 May 2004 12:24 EST *NUMB* i feel numb. Such a wierd feeling.... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/254676 *NUMB* i feel numb. Such a wierd feeling. Cant say its creepy cause im numb. Massive migrane,fell asleep in the conservatory,bad idea, evening sun came along and decided to heat my head up. Woke up feeling hot and stuffy, changed positions on couch, fell asleep again. Woke up to go to morrisons and still have this damn migrane!!! arrrhhhh. I think its making my face numb. damn. My senses feel dead. mmm anyways, atleast my fingers still work. brain must be functioning okay. So happy for Bobby. Glad he is home. He'll work it out. Flat mate said my room smelt of celery.Its the air freshner, its green tea and something else. Very calming. Good for revision. Gives a good vibe. Note to self, need to buy new air freshner. Numb feeling is subsiding.At last. katie malua is getting on my nerves. so i think im goona hit the sack. mommy might be coming tomorrow to give me my freshly washed clothes. *sniffff* *arrrhhhh* Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/254676 Thu, 13 May 2004 19:31 EST Trance is love??? Whats up with that!! ~confu http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/244158 Trance is love??? Whats up with that!! ~confusion takes over, cant think straight~ Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/244158 Tue, 11 May 2004 07:31 EST Watching the raindrops run down the window,... http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/226371 Watching the raindrops run down the window, i notice my reflection in the glass. And yet only now i realise it is ur face. The face of an angel staring back at me. The look in ur eyes, U seem so distant. So cold. Do i have the power to relight our fire?                                          ~Hope~ Personal http://www.zorpia.com/MadCats/journal/226371 Fri, 07 May 2004 12:32 EST