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解脫了...新認了我自...

Sat, 08 Dec 2007 22:01 EST

真係好其妙喔, 自上次酒醒過後, 直到現在好像越來越清醒喔, 好像對佢越來越淡, 感覺就好似漸漸地放低我們這麼久的包袱喔, 佢越令我失望, 我越容易放低佢, 睇得越黎越清楚佢跟本就唔適合我, 佢連一個SMS都唔send比我, 咁小野都做唔到, 其他野就更加唔洗指意佢會做到, 估唔到一試就試鬼到佢, 今日終於明白呢個人跟本就唔值得我愛, 唔值得我犧牲任何野...

佢個思維仍然好細個, 佢個生活可能只係圍繞著返工同飲酒, clubbing之類唧野, 佢遠都無可能比到幸福我啊, 我唔以跟住一個咁唧男人咖, 更何況家下佢仲唔爹唔掉, 我更唔想再選擇佢, 不過點都好, 我都會祝佢永遠幸福快樂, 只是不是同我.

其實我都覺得好得意, 原來有D野過左就係過左, 好似我曾經咁愛佢, 可以為佢犧牲所有, 但過去就是過去, 即使現在多麼想好像從前的那樣愛你, 逝去了就是逝去了, 即使我迫自己去從新再愛你, 沒可能就是沒可能吧, 所以如果我之前令你誤會的話, 我會在此跟你說句對不起...我覺得佢的失真係好大, 因為佢錯失了一個咁愛佢的人, 而且可能是佢這生人中唯一的一個quota, 不過對於我黎講係一件好事, 因我終於得到了解脫, 而且令我明白到原來我從來只是因為喜歡, 因為愛而一起, 但從來沒分析過他們夠竟適唔適合自己, 所下一次會小心咁樣選擇一個合適我的對像!!!

我們的從前.....現在想通了

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:16 EST

呢幾日心情都非常亂, 因為佢對我沸冷沸熱, 我好唔鐘意囉, 男人老狗做咩要咁婆媽喎, 係就係唔係就唔係囉, 爽D啦就係咁簡單, 從前係咁, 而家又係咁唔知將來係咪咁呢?? 仲細咩??? 分手咁多年啦, 我心中的那個無人能代替的人仍然是你....不是因為你的外表, 亦不是有其他原因, 我真的找不出任何理由, 愛你就是愛你....

四年前我們在偶然的機會下再相遇了, 當時你已經有意思想跟我再走在一起, 但我執著住我們過去的回憶, 而且當時我亦要回留番香港, 因為當時有太多要拒絕你的理由, 所以我拒絕你了, 但心裡真的開心得很, 雖然可能是一殺那或是虛假的, 但至少我知道在你心中我永遠也是特別....

記得當天你曾經問過我會唔會返黎, 我話會, 所以你話過你會等我, 幾耐都等, 因為你成熟了, 我聽過之後什麼也沒有說過, 只是笑了一笑, 因為我知道又是一個虛假的謊言, 我知道他還末成熟, 亦不會默默地等待著我, 而且當時我亦沒有意思要再跟他走在一起, 所以並沒有將他的話放在心裡....同一時間我的心在想, 如果我們此生注定再有一個機會再走在一起, 我希望個機會黎的時候係將來, 而唔係而家, 我好渴望我們再一起的時候, 是會成功的!!!!

過了半年後, 我終於再回英國去了, 我返到去之後就打個電話佢, 睇下佢係咪真係有等我, 打通了, 如我所料, 他已有女朋友了, 他給我的值口就是他以為我不會再回英國, 所以....我沒怪他, 因為他沒有錯, 他有權選擇和誰一起的, 所以我心想, 你沒有必要向我解釋, 但如果真的要解釋, 可否給我一個更好的理由?? 過了那天之後, 我就沒有跟他聯絡了, 不是我小氣吧, 只是大家都要繼續過自己的生活了.....

四年後的今天, 我們又再相遇了, 你亦再次有意思想跟我再一起, 本來我仍然繼續地執著住唔想破壞我們的回憶, 但經朋的感化後, 自己再仔細想了又想, 如果唔把握呢個機會, 或許四年之後他已成家立室了, 可能身邊有好多個朋友已經有自己的家庭了, 由於唔想此生遺憾, 所以終於決定放低執著, 如果緣份許可的話, 願意給大家一個機會再去從新認識對方, 這樣最小此生我們之間再沒遺憾了...

至此我就好努力想辨法去了解對方, 什至做些較主動的行為, 因為我想了解佢的想法, 想知道佢究竟想要什麼? 他想要的同我想要的有什麼差別? 可惜唔知佢有心定無意, 往往對我沸冷沸熱, 偏偏逃避我最想知答案的問題, 鐘意答我就答, 唔答就唔答, 佢攪到我覺得自己主動的行為好似好cheap咁, 因為我覺得如果幸福自己唔黎就自己去增取, 即使可能是錯, 我亦願意追隨, 因為我真的很愛佢, 所以只係想勇敢地追求自己所愛而已, 因為我敢愛敢恨, 一係唔愛, 一愛就要愛得熱熱烈烈...但越是這樣, 你越沒有表示, 你令我再想起我們的過去, 想起失去你的原因, 我唔想再像從前盲目的追尋住你的影子, 我唔想件再從演. 唔想再次比你傷害得切切低低

昨天我飲了些紅酒, 喝醉了, 但酒醒過後好像想通了, 感情係兩個人一齊努力去維系, 如果唔能夠同心, 無論那一方有多努力都好, 都係唔會成功, 心想為什麼永遠都只是我努力在付出? 其實我唔係介意付比佢多, 但最低限度, 可否比一種認真的安全感我好嗎? 你話你會打比我, 我一直在等你的電話, 可惜到現在, 你還沒有打給我, 這個只是一個你自己主動對我提出的一個承諾, 難道又是一個美麗的謊言? 其實只要你肯行第一步, 即使只是一個很簡單的SMS, 做一樣可以令我感受到你對我的誠意的事, 我一定會等你, 你知嗎? 直到現在, 只要你是真心的, 我仍然願為你付出所, 我仍然願意去包容你的所有, 但你已經令我失望了好多次, 如果你是沒有誠意, 那麼我們就此吧了...

confussion

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:56 EST

自從搵番大家之後, 個心一直變得好心亂如麻, 我係度問我自己夠竟我係咪仲對佢有feel, 一時係但一時唔係咁, 朋友話係因為寂寞, 先會對佢產生呢種感覺, 佢地覺得佢好細路仔, 可能我再見番佢真人時我末必會鐘意佢, 講真我亦有同感, 因為同我而家鐘意個類形分別好大, 佢地覺得佢唔識合我, 其實我都有諗過呢個問題, 我覺得如果再走番埋一齊, 我諗會變相我要照顧番佢, 替佢擔心, 其實呢個都唔緊要, 但如果要同佢終生思守, 我相信佢個思維始終都末夠成熟, 或許對比起從前, 他成熟了不小, 但我始終覺得我永遠都會比他成熟,因為同佢的對話, 我覺得佢未必諗將來諗得好遙遠, 個性格始終都係無變, 仍然仲係咁自私和憂猶寡斷, 有好多野我會Doubt佢會唔會為我付出, 跟本就無個種secure的感覺, 或者只係我自己的執著住我地的遺憾, 所以先至會係咁, 或許係注定跟本我地係有緣無份吧, 或許我應該放下執著, 我地的從遇, 可能只係要我明白一些東西, 要我放下我們的過去, 放過我自己, 開開心心繼續過我的生活....在此我希望他將來能永遠都過得幸福快樂, 希望佢永遠都得到最好的, 無論去到那裡即使是天x海角, 我都會為你深深的祝福....

終於再找到你了...IPPY KILLEEN

Sat, 10 Nov 2007 02:58 EST

自03年最後一次跟你通話, 就跟你失去Contact till now, 其實呢幾年來間中都有想起你, 唔知你過得好嗎?幸福嘛? 每年你的生日我都記得咖, 亦有wish you happy birthday咖, 跟你分手已經有8年了, 唔知咁多年黎, 你有無曾經一殺那想起過我們的過去, 想起過我呢?

咁多年來我都好其待有一天在某個角落可以跟你相遇, 可惜呢日此終都無黎過, 一直透過internet尋找到你的蹤影, 搵左好耐, 但我並沒有放棄, 因為我相信有朝一日我一定找到你, 一直默默地等待, 終於在昨天找到你了.....

從相中見到現在的你, 樣子沒有很大的變化, 只是多了鬚根, 乾紋和在臉上多了小小的班點, 睇落成熟了小小, 但我知佢仍然末完全成熟....

好攪笑唔知係天意定係注定, 每次我地再相遇, 往往我都係係香港, 我相信半年後當我返英國個陣, 佢又再次遲於別的人, 好似上次咁, 心情好予循, 在想我應唔應該把握呢個機會呢? 如果真的再走在一起了, 我們會幸福嗎? 我唔想再錯失機會了, 但佢的想法跟我的一樣嗎? 佢能定下來了嗎? 我真的想有個健康的家庭, 好想有個mixed BB喔, hehe, 即使想, 有好多野都不能強來, 唯有隨緣吧.....

我的人生...遺憾....??

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 16:01 EST

好耐都無寫日記了...可能是我太忙吧, 回香港差不多一年了, 生活比在英國更有意義, 大概是因為我上學吧了, 認識了很多新的朋友, 開心左好多, 得閒約出黎BBQ, 行街街, 食飯飯, 比起英國生活, 真的沒有那麼寂寞, 雖然如此, 但至少那兒還有你在我身邊....

沒見你快要一年了, 心情有些矛盾, 好想係今年豬豬年過之前見到你, 可能是我太過執著吧, 或許是因為我害怕十二年後的下一個豬豬年我們亦已成過去了...

回港這麼久, 有時真的感到非常空虛寂寞, 當我脆弱的時候,真的想搵個新依靠, 不是不能, 而是我心中的那人仍然是你, 所以我眼中看不見其他人.

不管在沒有心理準備下跟他再相遇, 使我更清楚心中的那個是誰, 即是我不停地游說自己說仍然是喜歡的, 但我始終無法欺騙我自己, 對他的心變了, 我喜歡的是從前的他, 不是現在的他, 或許是感覺隨時間而淡然, 又或許是我跟本從來沒有喜歡過他, 那種一殺那的感覺只是虛疑的...

我明白到現在的我們已心有所屬, 即使這樣, 心中確實亦有些兒無奈, 明白到機會和時間來的時候沒有把握, 錯過了, 便是錯過了, 即使執著也無法改變錯過了的事實, 如今可以做唧就是放開手, 好好的繼續活下去...

曾幾何時以為會有點遺憾, 但是我現在發覺, 這樣的安排, 也許是上天給我們最好的結局, 假若我們當天真的一起了, 或許這才是我們的遺憾...

回想番過去, 大男人的你, 有時令我難以呼吸, 雖然有時真的不認同你大男人的思維, 但這亦是因為你緊張我, 對我愛的証明, 所以我才明白到最好的, 最適合我的仍然是你

現在的我只希望比心機讀好我的書, 行我想行的路, 完成我的夢想, 令我的人生再次精彩起來, 這樣我才活得開心, 才覺得幸福喔!!!

~Awww...So LoVeY DoVeY...So SwEEt~

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 01:47 EST

feeling so happy today....my lo gong is even sweeter today....i was sleeping on the bed and he was next to me...he was looking at me haha....then he was kissing me very tender on my face and then he was giving me "nose nose" he was so happy and sweet the smile on his face the love in his eyes, i feel my love or should i say our love become even stronger....the feeling at that moment was like wow....i can not discribe it but that moment it was like i wish time can stop and then it will last forever....that face i can and will never forget....so sweet its feel like the 1st love....oh i love him so much....i wish to be with him this life time next life time and the last life time......until we cant reborn again...i will find him the next life and the life after and after and so on....im just very happy to be with him....i dont need or to find another one im satisfy being with him~ may god bless us i love u for eternity lo gong muWaHhhh.....

my 5 new fds

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 13:11 EST

today i went to "wan son" with lo gong and the family...the chinese fortune teller woman told me i have lot of "sat hay" she said because i broke a mirror...i was so shocked...becos only me and lo gong know we didnt tell anyone at all and to be true...it happened long time ago..well at least 6months or so....we both forgotten until she said it to my face today...we were both very suprised that she knew. then while she was doing the "wan son yee sic" 4me, so she was telling me becos i broken the mirror...so some sprites following me since...i was abit mixed emotions...cos i knew there always 2 but i thought its only 2 but when i asked her she told me is not only 2 is 5...so i was very shocked...i felt abit scared at 1st...not scare of them...it just mind of a matter...cos i know is real....it was more than i expected,normally i only hear 1 follow them and i have 5 thats alot u know, but i was calm, so i listening to wat she said tho she didnt say much, she told me to go back to see her next week when i go "kau fok" she will then tell me more and will sort it out for me, ppl might think im being too superstitious, there is no proves that she is telling the ture but i do believe it, cos last yr i went to see her she said alot of things abt my life was bingo i mean it was our 1st met and today was our 2nd and its the 1st time i talked to her if she is not real then why she said so many things abt me was right? not that she know me in person.....anway after "wan son" i left the place....lo gong and the family heard wat she said they believed it but they were joking ard cos they were trying to get it out of my mind and to cheer me up. i was very quiet...cos i was thinking abt those sprites, who are they? do i know them? will they harm me?...wat so ever so many questions were crossing my mind.

i just cudnt stop thinking....at the beginning i was abit fear to be leave alone, but then is ok now, i know there are 5 sprites ard me...i duno who they are what they look like, i mean they might be ard me now but i face it already...today is same as usually...everything is the same...nothing much change becos of i found out they are exsiting or beside...in fact i feel like i found some ppl to listen to me talk haha...

i believe they are good sprites, cos so far till now they have not done anything bad to me and i hope they never will, u know i duno if human and sprites can be fds?or if they are good or bad for each other, but if we cant be fds at least i hope we wont be enemies.

now i know they are around me so i was talking to them before i went to sleep, just to compromise with them...just tell them i dont want to hurt them and i hope they wont hurt me too, we just get on with each others lives if i done something wrong b4 i apologize, i hope i everything can be sort out by next week i guess need the woman to find them a home, they are probably homeless now~

ThE MaN In My Dr3aMs...

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 10:29 EST

----------------<8(*0(oo)0*)8>-<( O(oo)O )>---------------
-------------o*`*-.ThE M@n In My Dr3aMs.-*`*O-----------
-------------------O------O------O---^---O---------------

Here are 21 signs to recognize the strong
love a guy holds for his beloved..

1. He is willing do anything and everything for his beloved..with sincerity.
2. He constantly to humors his beloved and tends to be more talkative with her.
3. He tends to advise his beloved more as he truly loves her and wants her to be a better person
4. He tries to restrict her freedom due to his overwhelming jealousy
5. He constantly fears losing his beloved
6. He always monitors his beloved's movements as he feels insecure
7. He hates the idea of other guys being close to his beloved
8. He becomes jealous and sensitive when his beloved pays less attention to him
9. He becomes the most hardworking person and helps her to do anything and everything
10. He becomes restless and anxious when his beloved's away for too long
11. He cares for his beloved more than he does for himself
12. He constantly asks if his beloved loves him as he feels his love is greater than her's
13. He would not be bothered if other gals will not hold any importance to him
14. He will try to spend a lot of time with his beloved even though he knows he'll end up waiting for her
15. He praises his beloved in front of others
16. If his beloved leaves him, he can't trust any other gal and wishes for his beloved to come back to him
17. When there is a third party, he loses his mind and is willing to do anything to fight for his beloved
18. He makes sure he ensures her safety at all times
19. He is like a small kid who fights for constant
attention from his beloved
20. He treats his beloved as his most trusted one and is willing to sacrifice all of his wealth and even his life for her..
21. He keeps asking her, "Do you love me, or do you not?"

~~ShOpPiNg TiMe~~

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 17:32 EST

i was up early today, cos i went to town to shop haha, i was very excited, but when i actually got to town i wasnt as excited hahaha cos i forgoten not all shops open, ill have to go again 2mr. been looking for a nice leather jacket, cos that what i wana get lo gong for this x'mas, i found a nice one, but they didnt have medium size, the small size look quite big but i ask some guy who try it on for me, well it fit but still tiny bit tight, so i didnt want to risk it, may be lo gong is abit skinny now,but he will put bk weight on i want him to be able to wear it too when he put back weight on, keekee, while shopping i was missing my ju too keekee, but i was happy.

i didnt buy much today, cos there wasnt many nice things, or just me, didnt really look,cos i was more concern abt his leather jacket haha, if i totally concentrate, i guess ill find more nice things to buy, but i still able to found afew nice things to buy, i bought a white coat, and the other short one, its my favourite, i seen it for along time, and its in sale now today so i quickly bought it, but it would be better if it was 1 size smaller, but the colour i like didnt have my size so i bought 1 size bigger, doesnt look too big i just need to change the buttons so the coat looks tighter, it will look fitter, beside them i bought some white boots, they r pretty nice, i was struggling abt the sizes, the smaller size is abit tight on the toes, but just fit my leg, the bigger one is more comfortable to wear, but look slightly big for my leg, although they werent much different, i still struggled ahahaha, but eventually i bought the smaller size hopefully it will be more comefortable when i wear it afew more times, bought them for driving uc, cos big heels is very hard to drive, flat shoes make me look small keekee, then i bought 2 things from a pound shop, i was in town quite afew hours, it was quit cold, and was rainning aswel, i was walking ard with my heels, so my feet were in pain, then i decided to go home, and it was the end of my shopping for today,but honestly i was very happy today. as soon as i got home i just cudnt wait to tell him what i got, cos i love to share my happiness with him, and he loves it cos thats he likes that happy smile on my face, uc im dead native, when i tell him abt my shopping, just cant stop talking, cant stop telling him what i saw, wat i like and why i bought this but why i didnt buy that, my face look dead cute, like a doll according to him wakakak he just loves it, cos he loves to see the ppl that he loves smile and happy, lo gong i love u very much, keekee i like to see u happy too ur happiness is my happiness too MuWaHhhh...

is dis some kind of joke or is my x'mas suprise???

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 10:51 EST

eaerly on i went shopping again as usual,didnt buy much cos im saving up for monday keekee big sale ill be on keekee, i been very happy today until...i went into a supermarket i was walking ard there was some guys looking at me, but i just ignored it cos i didnt want to give the wrong impression to ppl, i saw something i need so i picked it up it was a big board thing cos i need it to make a photo board of me n lo gong some1 was stright pass me hit my board accidentally well i thought at 1st but i was freaked out with his action..then he was kinda following me in the same times there was another guy in the same place following me too but he didnt do anything...so i just left it, even tho i still feel very uncomfortable, so i was walking ard i saw something so i picked it up and have a look that freak who just bumb into me early on started talking to me asked me if i was chinese...i was like..erm...yes then i look bk to the things i was looking at...he then said to me can i ask u a question, at 1st i thought he was asking some normal question like some ppl do to me sometimes...then he was saying...well i mean i have to ask if not....and then i said wat u wana ask? go ahead...i started getting annoy with him cos i felt very uncomfortable....then he said to me well...im shy already...i was like well pissed off cos i felt more insecure with the situation, so i said to him well if ur not going to say anything then im going...straight after that i walked of try to avoid him uc he kept on staring at me and smiling like a fucking pervert!!! why do this to me??i mean is new yrs eve today why give me this suprise?? how come so many freaks exist, why cant they just get alive?? im not being racists but he was so ugly, looking so poor...i mean normal ppl in this situation i would not look down on him...but he did everything purposely just to get my attention so fucking immature, i mean go look at the mirror before even try to open ur month, i was scare that he might follow me home so as soon as i paid i quickly run to my car and drove home, i was abit scare but not as bad as the 1st time when someone actually followed me right outside my door, i cant wait till tell lo gong this....thanks to my god again for protect me all the way and im home safe now thank you so much, anyway merry x'mas to my god, daddy, mummy, lo gong, bro, and all my lovely fds i love u all MuWaHhhh....

yum yum seafood and fruit <(0(oo)0)><("0(oo)0")>

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 04:27 EST

i had a very good night today, cos me n lo gong went to the morning market bought alot of fresh seafood and fruits...as he know i love crab so he bought me 2 big crabs as in very very big, some scallops,a lobster and a fish, he also bought me a box of lygee, longan, custardapple, pappaya and a big box of mixed mushroom they all my favorites aswel we bought so many food i just really enjoyed it, it was very early and was freezing, but as soon as he is with me thats the feeling of HAN FOK heated me up haha no fear of the cold keekee...

after we got home, he was doing all the cooking, he steamed the 2 big crabs, my fav part of the crab is the craws, the size of the craw hahaha was huge but it was so yummy cos it was very fresh yum yum still thinking abt it ahahaha too nice kee kee he is going to cook the lobster and those scallops for me 2mr we are going to have it for dinner 2mr keekee

i was very happy cos he hasnt been cooking for me for a very long time, uc he is a very good cook, but he is not a chef haha he just good at cooking thats all but do u know he doesnt cook for everyone only cook for special ppl and im one of them ahaha but he doesnt cook much nowadays ,i cook for him most of the time kee kee but i enjoyed cooking for him cos seein him eating the food i cook and enjoy it make me feel so successful and han fok i want to cook better and better cos i want to learn to be a good wife and cook for our children in the future, i want to be a good mum aswel, cant wait till that day come keekee...i was looking on the internet ealier, looking on the net early on, i was searching for babies names kee kee...uc we talk abt kids sometimes we already plan what to call our boy if we have a boy and still thinking of what to call our girl if we have one well i want 2 1 each kee kee, i duno y i just very excited abt it i fear sometimes i think of the pain i have to go thru but i really want to go thru those pain to understand the feeling when my mum had me it would be another valuable experience i know it will worth all the pain when i see them, but im getting excited too early ahaha coswe both know im not ready to have them yet may be in a few yrs time when im more mature, cos i need the paitence, when im more mature i would be wiser so vr using these few yrs to earn more $$$ i need to start saving up soon for our future kee kee but honestly i cant wait till dat day come, lo gong i just want to say thank you to u, i love u very much, how can i live without u, i know for the fact i cant find anyone better and more considerate or more attentive than u, im very proud of being ur lo por jai, i really hope to be with u forever, seriously i dont want another i just want to be with u thats all, this is the honest ture, anyway im going to sleep now but im not too tired may be i go out for abit cos i want to buy something to make my clothes ok love ya lo gong MuWaHhhhh...

I LoVe U Lo GoNg....

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 00:55 EST

when u madly in love with someone, u would try to find many ways to justify the love u have for them and now i have found another way to justify my love for u lo gong...i just want to tell the whole world...

(`v)
`..'
|*``*|
|......|
|......|
\,,.~ |

.~*\ ...........~**~...~*\../'*~.~**~-,
.\.....\,.~*\/....../\....\.....V...../...(_)...\
...\.............\.....\/...../\........./\......,.~*
....\,.~*..`.-.,,.-`..\,,./.......,,`.\\...........

..~**\./``*/~**~. .~*\..../*~.
...\....\/.../...../\.....\......|..|.....|
.....\....../......\/..../\.......V...../
...../__/...`..,,.-`.."-........../
* -::-*

lo gong i truely do...and im looking forward to grow old with u....the thought of us holding hands and holding a cane with the other hand and play with our grandchildren...it makes me laugh ahaha...i know we see each other everyday but i still think is not enough...haha...i know im greedy...but that show u how much i really love u...cos u only feel like this when ur very much in love with someone...i just want to say im glad that i have met u...i love you forever!!! MuWaHhhh...

LoVe...

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 12:48 EST

當一個人嘗試左初戀後...

一定會再尋找新戀人~一定會再找尋新戀情~

你所找到的戀人戀情~一定係踏同一種步伐~

這腳伐永令會人失戀~這腳步永都玩弄感情~

但為什麼這個人永不會是我,為何我永是受害者....

我真驚失戀與被玩弄感情成為習慣..................

我只係想擁有一段普普通通既愛者,係咪咁都唔得ar~

唉..........................

The greatest love of all...

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 00:27 EST

In life is very easy 2find sum1 likes u or u like,but 2find sum1 truely loves u & u love in da same time is very hard,sum ppl might never evn haf da chance to taste it, i bin thru alot of emotions 4relationships & fdships, i cried for the satcrify that i did 4 them, it hurted me deeply, i used2 feel pity 4myself & envy of other ppl in sum department,but things happen for a reason, bad things happen make me stronger, gain my life experience, in my world, i have never hate anyone, no matter what they did to me, in fact i thanks them cos they taught me more about life, of cos i made many mistakes too who doesnt? i admit there was a time i was totally break down i was so lost, living like without the soul, outsider will never understand and i wish they will never do cos if they do that means they are rather been in the same shoes or stuffering now.

i used to always feel very unlucky but 2day (22/10/2005) i looked at things in different angle and than i realised im 1 of da luckest person on earth,because i haf a dad every1 dream of, da most beautiful mum on earth, a brother who care much4 me in heart & a hubby even beta than the1 i ever dreamed of, the best part isnt dat he loves me very much is dat he is a very good hearted person also has a very unique personality, i know 4da fact,ill neva meet ne1 like him in my life time, i think is a honor to be his friends never mind his lo por jai so thx god for given me this chance to meet him and for everything i have got, truely from my heart.

i got nearly everythin dat ppl dream of to have for thier life, so if im not satisfy with the things i have now or ask for more then i guess i will be too greedy,and if i still feel sorry for myself that means im useless and selfish cos there are so many people out there are alot worse than me, i just want to tell the whole world that i love my family and my lo gong very much i dont know whats gona happen in the future i just want to treasure the time with them now and i promise the love i have for them will go on forever even after the day i close my eyes....

Birthday HK time

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 17:40 EST

my birthday is coming soon...in 30mins (uk time) im so excited cos its gona be the 1st birthday lo gong spending with me...i went shopping today cos i want to look the best for this special day...i was stuggleing duno where to go since its sunday...so he gave me 2 choices 1 is blackpool pleasure beach or alton tower....i been to blackpool quite afew times as i used to live near there only been to alton tower once...very hard decision i cant be greedy go to both cos the both opposite direction 1 is toward scotland the other 1 is toward london hahah....alton tower is bigger than blackpool tower but to queue up for the rides.....cud take ages...only have rides...dont have other place to walk abt....blackpool is small but there is a beach....so i think it will be more suitable i wanted it to be romantic...i have already done some research on the internethee hee there is a restaurant call white tower restaurant i think is on the top of the tower i duno if its expensive but i want to go there for dinner it wud be great if someone can play live piano make it more romantic...but duno whats are we gona do yet cos we might ended up gone into other restaurant...im very excited...getting everything ready....sorting my dress out put everything together...i will look the best for him 2mr...just really cant wait to walk on the beach with him....so i will have to go to zZz soon otherwise i wont look pretty 2mr when i wake up ...will write more what i ddone 2mr :@) HaPPy BiRtHdAy To Meeee in 19MiNs (uk time)

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