Journals
Tuesday,Oct 12 2004, 02:33:06 AMLiu Xing Hua Yuan 3 Chapter 9 Say Goodnight,...
Liu Xing Hua Yuan 3
Chapter 9
Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye
Shan Cai’s graduation was fast approaching, so was Ah Si’s time to leave.
In the office, he was handling things pretty well. But all their clients and business associates were nervous and worried. They wanted to discuss business directly with Dao Ming Feng. They said they know Dao Ming Si is good but he is a neophyte and they made the deal with his mom. they will only be reassured if Dao Ming Feng will finally come to Taiwan to talk to them. Which meant for Ah Si, he had to go to New York already to take care of things there so that Dao Ming Feng can go to Taiwan sooner.
Shan Cai, on the other hand, was still in denial. She still can’t see the reality of Dao Ming Si actually leaving.
♫ I've been searching for a reason
And I'm running out of time
I can feel that it's the season
It's time to make up my mind
And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do
There are so many thoughts in my head
There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said
Thinking over the things...
Am I ready for forever?
Oh, God, show me a sign
'Cause if we're to be together
Then it's got to be divine
And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do
There are so many thoughts in my head
There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said
Thinking over the things...
He wants to marry me
Carry me far away
He wants to love me for life
He wants to be with me
Every morning I awake
He wants to hold me through the night
Father, which way should I go?
I cannot clearly see
Oh, I love him so
But only you know if he's the one for me
I'm thinking over
Thinking over
Thinking over
The things that you've said
And I'm thinking over
Thinking over
Thinking over the things...
[thinking over - dana glover]♫
`
`
Dao Ming Si picked her up from school. While in the car, Shan Cai asked where are they going.
DMS: we’re going on a trip.
SC: a trip? We didn’t talk about going on a trip. Besides, I’m graduating in a couple of days and you are…
DMS: don’t worry, we’ll be back on time.
SC suddenly had a wild thought & said: You’re not thinking of eloping are you?!
DMS: like you would agree to that.
Sc gave a sigh of relief.
Then they arrive at the pier and they went up a luxury cruise ship.
SC: Dao Ming Si, what are we doing here?
Shan cai looked around and found there were no other people there.
SC: are we the only people here?
DMS: so many questions. Yeah, we’re only ones here, except for the ship’s crew of course. Don’t you remember this ship?
SC thought hard and remembered: this is the cruise ship we took during spring break!
DMS: right. Instead of going to Hawaii, I bought this ship that the son of the super rich rented.
SC smiles at that memory.
**flashback to seeing Dao Ming Si, Mei Zhou, Xi Men, Bai He & Qian Hui at the ship railings waving at them. **
SC: but why the memory of this ship?
DMS: because we had our first kiss here. Come, let’s go.
Dao Ming Si start to walk ahead and Shan Cai just stared at his back for a while then followed.
They sat by the pool with their feet soaked in the water and their dinner placed in between them.
DMS: I remember that night, we had a party and Jing gave you a make-over.
SC: yeah, And then Bai He & Qian Hui had that stupid midnight-kissing-in-the-dark game.
DMS: When the lights went back on, you were on top of me, with your lips on mine.
Shan Cai tried to splash water at him by kicking the water.
DMS: hey! Why splash water at me! It was true! You came on to me!
SC: yeah right. I remember thinking that night that I kissed a pig.
DMS: what? You called me a pig?! I’m a man of size!
And then DMS also splashed water at her.
SC: it’s sense not size! Really, how are you going to survive in NY?
Shan Cai splashed water back at him. They keep splashing water at each other until they had pushed each other into the pool. They were laughing as they were trying to 'drown’ each other. And then they rose up and felt awkward as they look at each other & they were all wet.
DMS: come, let’s get out of the pool. If you get sick and won’t be able to go up stage to get your diploma, you’re going to blame me again.
SC: of course I’d blame you.
They got out of the pool and went to their room to change.
Shan Cai was standing at the balcony of the room after she changed her clothes. She stared at the reflection of the moonlight on the sea. Then Dao Ming si came out of the bathroom all changed and went to join her at the balcony.
Shan Cai lifted her gaze into the night sky.
SC: there are no stars.
DMS looked at the sky too and said: It’s full moon, it’s hard to see the stars with the moon shining brightly.
SC: but the moon is beautiful too, especially the way the moonlight looks on the sea, they are also like stars dancing.
Dao Ming si embraced Sc from behind.
SC: you know, on that night [referring the night they spent before on this ship], Jing did give me a one-night Cinderella dream. It’s the dream of every girl.
DMS: is it?
SC: yes. What about you Dao Ming Si? What is the dream of guys? To be King of the World or something?
DMS: I pretty much done that. [he then lets go of shan cai and look her in the eye] it had already come true.
Shan Cai realized he was talking about her and blushed.
DMS: I love you.
SC: I love you too.
They kissed. After the kiss, Dao Ming Si told her to get some sleep already and he went inside the room and prepared the sofa for him to sleep on.
SC started to cry softly as she looked at Dao Ming Si preparing the sofa. The reality of Ah Si leaving finally dawned to her.
SC thinking: a few hours left before the sun rises. When I wake up, I’m sure Dao Ming Si won’t be here. I’ll stand at the pier alone…..My tears will surely be stop shedding then; because this is not goodbye. As we get separated over and over again, the tie between us will only get stronger.
DMS noticed she was still not on her bed yet and saw her crying.
DMS: Shan Cai, what’s wrong?
Shan cai wiped her tears and said: it’s nothing. Come, let’s get some rest.
Although DMS knows something was wrong, he didn’t pursue it. Shan Cai sat on the bed and Dao ming Si headed for the sofa. Shan Cai thought that this was their last night together.
SC: Dao Ming Si, would you like to use the bed?
DMS: I told you before; I can’t let the woman I like sleep on the sofa.
SC: what I’m saying is… with me.
DMS got wide eyed and Shan Cai explained herself immediately.
SC: not to do …that. What I mean is, just to be beside me.
DMS: I understand.
So they went to the bed, pulled up the covers as they lied down.
DMS: good night.
SC: good night, dao ming si.
Then they closed their eyes and went to sleep.
♫ Say goodnight not good-bye
You will never leave my heart behind
Like the path of a star
I'll be anywhere you are
In the spark that lies beneath the coals
In the secret place inside your soul
Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight not good-bye
Don't you fear when you dream
Waking up is never what it seems
Like a jewel buried deep
Like a promise meant to keep
You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
I'll be right by your side
Say goodnight not good-bye
You are everything you want to be
So just let your heart reach out to me
Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight not good-bye
[Beth Nielsen-chapman - Say Goodnight]♫
When morning arrived, Shan Cai woke up due to the sunlight coming through from the balcony. She sat up on her bed and looked around the room and found that Dao Ming Si was not there. Then, there was a knock on the door. Shan Cai, thinking it’s Dao Ming Si, quickly opened the door. When she opened the door, it was actually one of the ship’s crew with a food cart.
Crew: Master Dao Ming had arranged for your breakfast to be brought in the room. After breakfast, there’s a car & driver to bring you home.
SC: thanks.
After the crew left, Shan Cai headed for the balcony & looked out to the sea.
SC thinking: I am standing at the pier alone. It will be a lie to say I’m not sad. But I’m okay. [Shan Cai had a look of assurance in her face] I got my two feet headed for the future.
Shan Cai headed back home and found Xiao You waiting for her. They talked about the future and what’s up next for them.
SC: come to think of it, mei zhou & xiao qiao were in a similar situation as me & dao ming si; how come things are easier for them? Why it has to be complicated between me & Dao Ming Si?
XY: because MZ & XQ’s situation IS different. They know how long they are going to be in New York, they have no problems getting married, & they have no opposing parents on either side….Have Dao Ming Si asked you again to go to New York with him?
SC: no. even if he did, I still don’t know what answer to give him.
XY: Shan Cai, if you decide to go to new York, be sure to contact me in Canada. I can come to see you.
SC: Why? Are you going back to Canada?
XY: actually, the reason I came here today, is to let you know I’m leaving. I wanted to be here until your graduation, but the only flight available is on the same day. I’m so sorry to leave you at a time like this.
SC: don’t be. We all have our own lives to lead, I understand.
XY: thanks. I’m going to miss you.
SC: I will too. ---- what about you & Xi Men?
XY: what about us? Actually, there is no us. He said so himself that he is not up to have a real relationship, at least not with me. He also said that I shouldn’t deprive myself of true happiness that awaits me. And frankly, he’s right. I deserve better than just to have one night. But still, I don’t regret it. It’s better knowing what will never be than always thinking of what could’ve been. Now I no longer have to try and hope.
♫ I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope
No more waiting, no more, aching...
No more fighting, no more, trying...
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly…..
[what can I do- the corrs]♫
--------------
♫ "Never look back," we said
how was I to know I'd miss you so?
Loneliness up ahead,
emptiness behind
Where do I go?
And you didn't hear
all my joy through my tears
all my hopes through my fears
did you know, still I miss you somehow?
From the bottom of my broken heart
there's just a thing or two I'd like you to know
you were my first love,
you were my true love
from the first kisses to the very last rose
from the bottom of my broken heart
even through time may find me somebody new
you were my real love
I never knew love
'til there was you
from the bottom of my broken heart ….” ♫
Shan Cai’s graduation day. She was at Ying-De grounds, wearing her cap & gown. Her parents were fusing all over her, creating drama that they never thought this day would come. Qing He was taking pictures of them with Mimi. Then, Lei & Xi Men arrived.
SC: Xi Men! Lei! I thought you’re in Japan.
Lei: I told you I’d be back for your graduation.
SC: thanks for coming. Glad you made it.
XM: Where’s Ah Si? The ceremony is about to start.
SC: I don’t know, …he…
QH: I tried calling his cellphone but he wasn’t answering.
XM: that’s weird. He wouldn’t have left for New York already, would he?
Lei: not without knowing shan cai’s decision. Have you?
[lei looked at shan cai & SC shook her head.]
SC’s parents: ei, the ceremony is starting. Shan cai, get to your seat!
Lei: I’d go to Ah Si’s house and check. Xi Men, take a look at the airport.
XM: ok. Qing He, you’d be in charge here. Contact us if Ah Si arrives.
When Xi Men arrived at the airport, he tried to find Ah Si among the crowd of passengers. He looked at the screen of the list of flights to see if there’s one headed to New York. He saw there was one that left an hour ago. As he was backing away, he bumped into somebody. That somebody happened to be Xiao You. Xi Men was surprised and saw she had baggage.
Airport announcer: Passengers of Flight ***** to Toronto, please get on board. Passengers of Flight ***** to Toronto, please get on board.
XY holding her passport & ticket, said to Xi Men: well, that’s me.
Xi Men nodded, and just said: have a safe trip.
Xy turned to leave. When she was at the entrance to the immigration having her passport & ticket checked, Xi men called her. She turned around and anticipated what he called her out for.
XM, looking unsure, just said: you noticed Ah Si around? [Lame yeah, but what can he say?]
XY had a look of disappointment, just a little bit though, and said no. then as she was to turn around again, she called XM. XM also anticipated what she got to say.
XY said: give my congratulations to shan cai for her graduation.
XM also had that look of little bit of disappointment and just nodded. Xy this time turned around and walked to the immigration. XM watched her back as she walked away.
Xi Men, remembering why he was at the airport in the first place, checked for other flight listings to New York and left.
Back at the graduation ceremony, it was Shan Cai’s turn to go up stage. After she got her diploma, shook hands with the dean, and moved the tassel of her graduation cap to the other side, she tried to look out for Ah Si from the stage, hoping to see him. She saw somebody running towards the stage & stopped under a tree. It was lei. He waved & smiled at her. Shan Cai returned it with a smile.
When the ceremony was over, the graduates threw their cap & everything, Qing He, Mimi & her parents went to congratulate her.
She came up to lei who congratulated her. lei took out a letter from his back pocket & handed it to her.
Shan cai stared at the letter for a moment and opened it. As she was reading the letter, Lei looked at the direction where Shan Cai’s back was turned at & there’s a man who looked like Ah Si walking away.
Xi Men arrived. He said he didn’t see him at the airport and he asked them for any news of ah si.
SC: He has gone to New York……
XM was surprised and asked rhetorically: how could that be?
At Shan Cai’s house a few days later, there was a small graduation party for her. Mostly her parents' friends were the ones there.
Shan Cai walked away from the crowd and sat on the chair on the hallway where she can look at the Christmas lights that Dao Ming Si put up before. She was staring at the lights as she recalled what was written in the letter.
Basically, the letter said that he had left coz he badly needed to already. He didn’t want to give her sadness on such an important & happy day for her. They never ever said goodbye to each other before and he will not start now. He promised to be back for her.
After her recollection, lei showed up.
SC: I knew he was leaving, just didn’t know right away. But telling me through a letter? That bastard. That was low even for him. I can’t wait to see him again so that I can punch his face.
Lei: Maybe there are things he can’t say directly at your face.
SC: That’s you, not him. He always told me things directly.
Lei: maybe he just doesn’t want to see your face sad.
SC: well, he’s going to see my face mad when I see him. Why are you defending him anyway?
Lei: I’m not defending him. But if you really want to see him so that he can see your angry face, then go to new York.. You have graduated. Wasn’t that part of your & Ah Si’s plan? You can follow him now to New York if you want to.
SC: I thought you told me you’re not going to tell me what to do?
Lei: how would I know that you’d do the wrong thing?
SC: hey, what do you mean by that?
Lei: Here, my graduation gift for you.
SC: you didn’t have to.
Lei: take a look.
SC opened it and saw airline tickets.
SC: Lei?
Lei: I’m not telling you what to do. I’m giving you the opportunity to do the right thing and hope you'd take it. Those are airline tickets to New York.
SC: but why there are two?
Lei: I’d accompany you, you know nothing about New York, what are you going to do when you get there?
SC: what you said makes sense but….are you sure? What about…..
Lei: I thought we agreed; if you go to the end of the road, I’ll go with you.
SC: Thanks, lei.
Tuesday,Oct 12 2004, 02:31:06 AMLiu Xing Hua Yuan 3 Chapter 10 New York...
Liu Xing Hua Yuan 3
Chapter 10
New York State of Mind ...
Read More...
Tuesday,Oct 12 2004, 02:25:52 AMLiu Xing Hua Yuan 3 Chapter 11 The Devil...
Liu Xing Hua Yuan 3
Chapter 11
The Devil Wears Prada ...
Read More...
Monday,Oct 11 2004, 06:36:46 PMLiu Xing Hua Yuan 3 Chapter 12 4-Eyes vs...
Liu Xing Hua Yuan 3
Chapter 12
4-Eyes vs Pineapple Head ...
Read More...
Monday,Oct 11 2004, 06:35:47 PMLiu Xing Hua Yuan 3 Chapter 13 Gal-pals Ah...
Liu Xing Hua Yuan 3
Chapter 13
Gal-pals ...
Read More...