Sunday,Nov 23 2008, 10:11:27 PM海上假日--遨游海上

           让身心小宇宙与大宇宙的脉动合而为一，谛听来自天地间最纯净的声音，放下生命里的繁华起落。                                                                                 

                                                                                                          星云大师-自在云心

 

 

 

          飞奔千重浪，放眼万里涛。浩瀚边无际，茫茫逐海潮。
          鲲鹏掠我影，神鹰御九霄。胸中无牵挂，何须有目标！  张帆

 

 

 

                                小型私家游艇内仓。  

 

 

 

 滔天飞浪落惊波，人生出落几周折。便有凌云空绝顶，谁敢傲世独清浊！  张帆

 

在加拿大玩快艇非常情调。 温哥华有上千的外岛，风景美不胜收。 玩中，小型快艇应该主要以海岸线的风景为主。

沿海岸线看到风景好的地方可以随时露营。船可近岸抛锚,用皮筏将东西运上岸。如果是17尺的小快艇，可直接将船推上沙滩，即便是落潮，人力也可以推动。19尺以上的，或像大连海滨，礁石滩多就得抛锚了。用橡皮筏把露营的东西运上岸。

加拿大人，就是玩不怕麻烦，能想到的东西都会携带，远程露营一次就像搬家，但乐在其中，情趣儿非凡。

找个没人的海滩，或小岛，或背靠青山的避风湾住上几天，真是美极了。一边看着礁石或沙滩上的海鸟，一边在海边烧烤，非常惬意。烤箱和小冰箱是一定要有的。再多带些木炭，晚上点起篝火，听着海浪，妙不可言！

如果你没有狗，胆子又小，那就住海岛上的风情旅馆了，晚上出去散步，享受当地的各式新鲜海产，夜幕下再品上一杯浓浓的咖啡，提了神，听着海浪伴着 小岛夜曲，也着实的不想睡了。那里一般都有小码头可以停船。登岸上岛，虽然不像一家人或几个朋友在沙滩独自享受时那么为所欲为和宁静，但每次都能欣赏到不 同的海岛人文风情，着实也另有一份情调。

 

这些都是去深海打渔的小渔船，只有印第安人才能领执照和政府的补贴。船上都有速冻仓。回来后就整齐的停在这里供岸上的餐馆，当地居民和游人来购买。以深海野生三文鱼为主。



如果只夫妻二人，住大酒店，悠闲自在，享受无穷。酒店下面有泊位可停船，白天可以出海远行，尽情遨游。晚上回来美美的吃上一餐，便可以参加夜幕下的音乐酒会了。
 


实际每年应该根据假期的长短，和你选择的路线，安排多种玩法，才不乏味！

遗憾的是，温哥华的夏日时间短，六到九月才是好季节，仅仅四个月的黄金时间。不过有些爱钓鱼的人，从四月初就开始下海了，玩到十月低才收心！政府在沿岸都设有加油站。

中国的渤海湾应该很好玩，有航标灯。如果政府没有建立海上设施，你就得比较熟悉地理环境了。出海一定要注意天气的随时变化，跟紧预报，安全和保险措施一定要做好！！！

如果你喜欢钓鱼，可买专门的钓鱼船，可以架上钓鱼竿，便可以看蓝天白云，享受夏日阳光了。无论天气多炎热，海上的阳光总是温情万种，温柔异常。

 

如果买中型渡轮，到深海远行就没问题了。速度慢些，可在避风湾抛锚，尽情的在船上享受海上风光！有喜欢周游世界的人，可以买这种船。

那冬天就可以开到美国的夏威夷去玩了。如果想惬意悠闲又轻便，就乘坐豪华的大渡轮吧。只要能定到有露台的房间，就不虚此行了！

 

Sunday,Nov 23 2008, 02:11:16 AMEurope’s Long Road to Absolute Rule

Abstract
Absolute rule, to date, is one of the most effective methods of governance. In China, it was established as early as the Shang Dynasty, which existed well before 1500 BCE. In Europe, though there were intermittent cases of imperial rule, they were often interrupted by long periods of anarchy or separatism. Cultural, religious, and philosophical circumstances which founded Chinese absolutism also proved to be the greatest impedance to European absolutism. Even when the glorious day arrived, European absolutism was disrupted by the will of the masses to restore democracy and liberalism.



Europe’s Long Road to Absolute Rule

In 99 BC, Chinese generals Li Ling and Li Guangli, under Emperor Han Wudi’s imperial orders, led an expedition against the barbarians, Xiongnu, north of China. However, logistic problems arose and the Chinese army was defeated, and its two generals captured and detained. Sima Qian, a Grand Scribe of the Han Dynasty (often regarded as the founding father of Chinese historiography with his prized work, the Records of the Grand Historian), defended Li Ling. The emperor, Han Wudi, was enraged by this defense, as he saw this as an insult to his leadership abilities, ordered for the castration of Sima Qian. At around the same time, Sulla and Caesar ruled Rome as dictators, with their powers in check by a senate system and jealous rivals. And though Augustus abolished the Roman Republic and established the Roman Empire and was crowned an emperor, his powers and that of future Roman First Citizens remained obstructed by the senate system. The power to humiliate, dishonor, and dominate a man’s destiny in 99BC was unheard of in the European world; European emperors’ pursuit of such autocracy and absolutism did not come to fruition until nearly 1,600 years later.

China is an interesting civilization in that its dynastic cycles recycle history. Every dynasty in China had endured founding, expansion, success, recession, decline, and collapse. With each dynasty, emperors, both benevolent and tyrannical, ruled. However, all of these emperors shared a common trait; they held absolute power, and dominated every aspect of civilized society. Rewards, appointments, punishments, executions, and military actions were only some of the weapons in the Chinese imperial arsenal. Very little, if any, could stand between the emperor and the exercising of his imperial will. In Europe, a multitude of social and religious circumstances forbade emperors from establishing the same degree of influence as their Chinese counterparts. A more careful examination of these circumstances is necessary to understand why European monarchs embarked upon an unusually long journey to establish authoritarian leadership. However, an observation into Chinese history allows us to normalize what is considered “absolute rule” between China (representative of Asia) and Europe.

China is examined because of its early establishment of centralized, absolute power, and serves as a mirror of what European monarchs desired or lacked until the advent of their own absolutism in the mid-17th century. It must be noted that the differences between European nations and China are innumerate. For a comparison to be made between Europe and China, only selected aspects will be focused. For our purposes, we will evaluate Chinese and European cultural values of the absolute rule, religious influence on ruling power, as well as philosophical views on the ruling class.

A Look at China

The Chinese word Huangdi is the Chinese equivalent of “Emperor” in English. The word itself is in fact the name (Yellow Emperor, translated), of a legendary, mythical Emperor of China. This legendary figure was worshipped throughout the centuries, and eventually became the de-facto linguistic designation of an emperor itself. It is not unwise to say that a degree of worship is dedicated to the legendary Huangdi figure. With his name becoming the vernacular of “Emperor”, the “worship of [Huangdi] transferred over to the worship of an individual figure” (Fairbank and Goldman, 2006). This mentality that one supreme figure holds the respect and obedience of everyone around him is therefore embedded into the minds of the souls in Chinese society. Yellow Emperor (or Huangdi) possibly lived (possibly) between 2497 BC - 2398 BC (Sima, 91 BC). The official inauguration of “HuangDi” as the term for emperor occurred in 221 BCE, and continued until the last of the Chinese dynasties.

This worship of a legendary figure was also the predecessor of religion. Imperial rule became parallel to divine rights and religious practices. Emperors of China harnessed this belief in their legendary status as an empowerment from the supernatural, citing the heaven’s support for their will and accomplishments. In the early Shang dynasties (c. 1600 BCE to 1050 BCE (Ebrey, 93)), emperors often foretold coming disasters through divination processes (the scribing of holy text on animal bones and fossils, later known as “Oracle Bones”). This practice allowed rulers of China to take advantage of religion and the human belief in the supernatural to their advantage. This process continued for six centuries until the Zhou dynasty (c. 1122BC to 256BC (Ebrey, Walthall & Palais, 2006)), when this type of religious practice ended. It was replaced, instead, by the Mandate of Heaven. This ancient philosophical concept believed that the Heaven (in this case, a sentient, powerful supernatural) would bless the authority of a just ruler. The first era name of the Qing Dynasty, nearly 2700 years later, would also be named Mandate of Heaven. Religion therefore seldom left the side of despotic rule. With the supposed supernatural on their side, emperors of China garnered supports from their subjects and executed their will with the Mandate of Heaven as their guise, and their desires became important for the well being of the land.

As time progressed, the tribal foolery of divine right dwindled. Although religion faded from the center stage of autocratic guise, its spot would soon be replaced by the advent of schools of philosophy. Perhaps because of tradition, Chinese philosophical schools, such as Confucianism and Legalism, placed emphasis on the virtues of the leader rather than the concerns of the collective masses. Confucianism believed that the leaders must show virtues to gain the trust of his subjects, while Legalism believed in absolute government control in all aspects of civilian life. Chinese emperors seized this opportunity and absorbed philosophical ideas which benefited their bureaucracy and statecraft; the earliest dynasty of unified China, the Qin dynasty, pursued harsh Legalist reforms, while later dynasties required the studies of Confucian literatures for all of their officials.

In addition, new religious beliefs, such as Buddhism, spreading to China during the 9th century (Fairbank and Goldman, 2006), were diluted by existing Chinese beliefs to adopt piety to the emperor. Buddhist monasteries were rumored to have taught Confucianism in their establishments to their own disciples (Fairbank and Goldman, 2006). This type of imperial grasp on existing beliefs snowballed, and any new concepts would be assimilated to suit the absolutist hunger of the emperors.

Philosophy is considered a society’s expression. Religion is considered a society’s supplement to overcome its insecurities. Culture is considered a society`s values. With his hands firmly wrapped around a society`s fundamental pillars, the Chinese emperor continued on generations of lavishness and unparalleled power.

A Look at Europe

Those same fundamental values which caused the Chinese civilization to soar in its pursuit of absolute power impeded the European civilizations in every regard. Historically, Greek and Ancient Rome held democratic ideals, extending well into the modern times. Ancient Greeks, especially Athenians, held democratic debates over various civil affairs, and the Romans had developed a system of senatorial elections which promoted democracy from its inception (Shelton, 1997). Though rulers such as Caesar established absolute dictatorship, his untimely death proved the overwhelming desire for a republic or democracy. Democracy had a much stronger foothold in European souls than it did Chinese – the Chinese form of democracy was not a gathering to peacefully debate an arbitrary law as much as it was open rebellions to overthrow an existing government.

Lexicology and etymology, in a subtle way, are good ways to observe history as well - The word “democracy” derived from Greek – ‘demo’, meaning the mass, and ‘kratia’, meaning rule. In the earliest Chinese dictionary, the KangXi Dictionary published in 1710, there was no equivalent of the word ‘democracy” in any context. This is by no means a statement of satire, and does not mean that democracy did not exist; it was a concept which existed, but perhaps has not yet been practiced comprehensively enough for it to become a concrete, expressible concept. It was not until the19th century did intellects studying in France or England, where nationalistic concepts were most widespread, did the word “democracy” come into existence in Chinese (Goff, Moss, Terry, and Upshur, 2008).

The arrival of Abrahamic religions in European areas further removed focus from the ruling class and taught the masses the importance of worshipping a supernatural. European leaders not only vied against religions for attention, but they also submitted to a superior supernatural in order to garner the support of their religious subjects. The later Roman emperors lost support when they fell out of favor with religious leaders, who in turn held the loyalty of the masses. The formation and the gradual accumulation of power of religious institutions, particularly the Catholic Church, continued to erode and chip away the foundations of an absolute, central monarch until the religious leader, the Pope, held more influence and power than regional leaders. The Chinese emperors had used religion as an instrument to secure more power, while the unfortunate circumstances in Europe caused monarchial powers to compete with an overwhelming enemy.
European philosophy was influenced by religion to an extent – It was not focused on the rulers, but focused more on people, society, and their suffering. European schools of philosophy dealt mostly with the self or the man, and that any form of power should be consolidated to serve the needs of the members of society. Philosophy publications as early as Plato (428 BC – 348 BC) entertained especially the supplementary role of justice and ruling class on society. Later philosophers, such as Locke (1632 – 1704), advocated much for freedom and liberalism. Though other philosophers, such as Hobbes (1588 – 1679), existed and advocated for Legalist-like government, the viewpoint which they express the similar belief was focused more on human nature (Skinner, 1978) rather than the necessity for government power (Chinese Legalism).

The Mirror Images

It was known that Chinese emperors had wives and concubines in the hundreds and thousands (Fairbank and Goldman, 2006). Chinese emperors often had veteran imperial armed forces, as well as the support of an entire army. These elite rulers had the right to appoint or expel any official positions. And at their mercy were the lives of every man in his nation. Yet in Europe, until well into the 16th century, feudalism fragmented imperial power. Kings often “married to [garner power] rather than for pleasure” (Bonney, 1991). Their military might was weak and relied heavily on nobles for further military dedication. Appointment of officials was left to the decisions of regional nobles. The Catholic Church further diminished the effectiveness of central power by forcibly succumbing all of Europe to gain favors with the Pope. In essence, European kings held power only in nominative regards.

Louis XIV of France was most commonly attributed to successful absolutism in Europe. His statement, “L'état, c'est moi (I am the state)”, symbolized the fundamental principles of vesting absolute sovereignty in one individual. In reality, nobles, despite being imprisoned in his grand palace of Versailles, still held influence and power. One begins to question the extent of “absolute” in Louis XIV’s absolute rule. At the same time, nobles in China were born and raised in the imperial palace all of their lives, and held little, if any, influence outside of the palace walls. Huang Taiji (1592 – 1643) who ruled China roughly the same time as Louis XIV was leading a capable combat force of ethnic minorities and expanding his empire into China. Nobles of his family dared not to oppose him due to his intelligence and power. While Louis forcibly controlled his nobles through recent, Taiji took advantage of authoritarian (and to a small extent, charismatic) leadership embedded in Chinese tradition and securely ruled as a supreme leader.

Cultural, religious, and philosophical developments in China and Europe contributed to the resulting styles of leadership. In China, a pre-conceived perfect being merged with religion and assimilated philosophy to harness supreme power. If the end purpose was to achieve absolutism, China would be considered lucky and blessed by the combination of cultural development and social evolution which enabled its absolute regimes. Europeans, however, did not share the same fortune as their Chinese counterparts: Precedential existence of democracy caused the masses to lean favorably towards expressing their ideals in a legal environment; a power-hungry religion struggled for and ultimately won influence from all those appraising it; and the humanist schools of philosophy, more concerned with the well-being of mankind than the glory of an arbitrary ruler, all contributed to the hindering of the path to absolutism in Europe.

Absolute rule, by far, is one of the most efficient methods for governing. In the hands of the corrupt, it may destroy empires. But in the hands of the benevolent, it may bring prosperity and glory much quicker than any other styles of government. Marco Polo’s travels to China in the thirteenth and fourteenth centuries generated tales of unfathomable interest in the technological and intellectual advancements in China. Perhaps the reason why China fared so well at this time, while the rest of Europe stood in the shadows of underdevelopment, was because of its absolute regimes, able to effectively mobilize an entire nation to spearhead its advancements.

Wednesday,Nov 19 2008, 07:31:02 AM张帆漫谈愚公移山--众志成城！序篇

因山不能高，而子孙无穷匮也，门前有山便要移开。费解！为什么不搬家却要移山？要是那一代生不出儿子怎么办？前面的活岂不白干！
这种问题我不敢问老师，但心里却不接受，便带领所谓的坏同学---就是读书不求慎解的同类，戏弄老师，成了个叛逆！
这移山的思想精髓就这样在炎黄的大地上代代的传着，可我没看过谁移过山。
后来我慢慢明白了，这山有人移过，而且移走了，一下子就移走了三座压在人民头上的大山！真正统一了中国！
我年龄又大了些，明白了。这移山的事儿，不是平常人能干的，那是帝王之举。毛泽东的伟大又不仅于此，他不同于历代帝王的是取消了世袭罔替。连老百姓都放不下的身后事儿，作为帝王能放下，这才是他的真伟大。
山被平掉了，社会太平了，国家一天天的安定和壮大了，可这山真的没有了吗？
至少我在心中看到了，还有很多很多。但是我没有移开它的念头，最多心血来潮时，煞有介事的拿把铁锹，在山前原地的踱上两圈，最后还是一声叹气，丢了工具，选择了回家安逸的过活，惭愧！
今天，我被一个名叫庆芸的女孩儿的来信，打破了宁静，她开始提问题了。也许是天意吧。因为她提的问题像把刀似的直插到我的软肋上。回答青年人的问题要深思熟虑，因为每一句话可能对她们的将来都有着不可估量的影响，儿戏不得。回避？太懦弱！可她的问题到现在我还没敢正面的回答。这才使我不得不想谈谈在我心中尘封已久的三座大山
那就是：社会---家庭---子女。细想想，这三个问题，是孪生关系的一组问题。任重而道远！
社会是政治问题，不想谈。可这家庭的和谐和子女的教育却是不能疏忽半点的！
我想说的是子女的教育问题，这和家庭是分不开的。而且将来影响的，是我们的国家和社会，岂能儿戏！
子女的教育问题不容置疑是每个家庭所关心的最大问题。是不是有很多的家长觉得对子女的教育束手无策？或累的力不从心？无能为力？事与愿违？
那么，我们就非常有必要一起平心静气的，共同的来找找原因！
这便是愚公移山的开始文章！

Sunday,Nov 16 2008, 04:43:22 AM2：本末倒置了“骄傲”与“嫉妒”！.

有个朋友向我提出这样一个问题：“在孩子的教育问题上，如果我们面对孩子欢天喜地的喊爸爸妈妈我获奖了！家长应该如何处理？ 表扬？怕孩子骄傲。淡然，又怕伤自尊。面对孩子类似这样的喜怒哀乐，我们应该如何面对？”

我很明白家长的心里和他想问这个问题的关键之所在。

--------------

 孩子的喜怒哀乐应该是自由的，不受局限的。但他们需要明白道理。

 

孩子的潜在能力是无限。如何开发与挖掘，便是要学会如何做得伯乐而识得好马！

 

千万别吝惜去赞美或表扬孩子的优点，但要准确。这样便会激发孩子努力向上的决心和再创造的激情。这是一种无形的强大动力，能使他们乐在其中。逐渐的，他们的性格也会变得开朗和阳光起来；因为他们开始有自信了，开始有些骄傲了，开始想做英雄了；那他们就得学会思考与自我努力；于此同时你与孩子的沟通与信赖也潜移默化的被慢慢的建立起来，这是家长与孩子开始心心相印，成为朋友的最好开端！

 

 中国在早年的启蒙教育里，有这样被默认的一说：“人，不能骄傲。这样会滋长个人英雄主义，突出自我，不利团结。”乍听起来，有些道理，时间长了，变成了真理。

 

在我看来是迂腐之极。为人连骄傲的勇气都没有，便不会有自信，如何堪当重任？没有一身的傲骨，岂能成大事？不敢一次次的挑战自我的高度，只能说是没本事！即便是当真有做英雄的潜在能力，也因长时间的压抑与埋没，而遗失了自信，一生落寞。

 

谦虚与骄傲是反义词，但不对立。谁说骄傲的人不懂谦虚，谦虚的人不会骄傲？若能集二者于一身，运用有度，便是造化。但那是成人之后的事儿。城府太深，不是孩子的用词。又岂不知：“谦，美德也；过谦者，多怀诈。默，懿行也；过默者，或藏奸。”所以孩子被表扬便喜形于色，甚至有些得意忘形，都是正常的，不要对他们有过分要求；过分的要求他们，孩子就会被逼得失去天真；而失去了天真，恰恰会使孩子在早年的心里成长过程中，被一种无形的压力笼罩着，使他们产生心里障碍甚至扭曲。便形成了---假成熟，真变形！

 

还记得毛泽东领袖写下的“沁园春-雪”吗？“惜秦皇汉武，略输文采；唐宗宋祖，稍逊风骚。一代天骄，成吉思汗，只识弯弓射大雕。俱往矣，数风流人物，还看今朝。”这大气磅礴，纵横八荒的千古绝唱，人人皆知。这不正是千古风流一帝的傲气与雄风的淋漓体现吗。与此同时，毛泽东也很谦虚谨慎，戒骄戒躁的做人民的公仆，和全国人民一道，度过了饥饿难耐的困难时代！

 

如果仔细的分析一下“骄傲”的社会演变，便可一目了然。

 

“骄傲”，容易张显个人英雄主义，但只要稍加引导，将来若不用于军事及政治，也无大碍。即便是过份一点，无非是自我膨胀的大了些。可是孩子要想出类拔萃的做英雄，首先必须要努力向上，克服别人克服不了的困难。孩子为了人前显圣，便会自我督促的，默默的去磨练自己的意志。别人好，我要做的更好。这对社会及他人没有任何危害。

 

但让我们看看“嫉妒“的可怕。他的社会演变是---不求比你好，但求比你坏！

 

能人才子的世界被毁灭殆尽。高明的中庸之道—-“枪打出头鸟，出头的椽子先烂。做人不要太出风头。。。要走中庸之道”等等之说得到证实并被宠信之后，海纳百川的中庸之道便独领风骚！也更没有人再去留意和怪罪那些举枪的小人了。但却都在警告这只“胆大妄为的出头鸟”，搞得“出头鸟”无所适从，不得不把头缩了回去。这真是天下之大荒唐，荒唐之及！迂腐可笑！

 

看看这时的天空吧，连只“出头的好鸟”都没了，有几只也被打的头破血流！哪还能有什么大鹏展翅？鸿鹄之志？能人干将被愚弄的学会了圆滑，没了自我。低能的小燕雀是安全了，鸿鹄被猎光了。当燕雀嘲笑鸿鹄的时候，便是最可悲的时候！可这些嫉妒偏见，攻击性的语言，却没有人去介意和抵制，甚至已经成了一种共同交流的嗜好，发展成了势不可挡的痞子文学，人人乐在其中，举身动念无不想攻击和嘲讽别人，可恶！

 

“任重道远，必取于身，故为仁由己，当仁不让；随俗习非，必要其党，故奸需用介，盗有把风。”

 

网上一位名叫晓东的九江朋友，应该就是一只盘旋的鸿鹄吧？

 

一个叫林颖的漂亮女孩，她绝美的头像非常传神，可爱之极了，很吸引我。她是搞教育工作的，她问道：“天生我材必有用，没有养分照样枯，枯木成朽随人弃，勉强成木难成才。中国这个人口大国，人才绝对量最多的国家，人才比例却很低。”这是为什么？

 

我看这不奇怪呀，你想想，十亿人里即使有一亿“好鸟”，也被那九亿给猎光了。

 

我以前喜欢狩猎，看到猎物就兴奋，平生就想猎只熊或豹。一位印第安猎人告诉我说，猎熊你必须一枪中命，如若不然，惹恼了它，你非常危险，尤其是灰熊和猎豹。可我就是心存不甘！我在想，如果中国的九亿猎人，要都象我这么猎杀成性，你想鱼翔“潜”底都难！

 

西方社会非常崇拜英雄，但他们也宣传团队的组合，他们从不离弃和待慢精诚合作。

 

大家有没有悟出这样一个道理：在人们疯狂而热烈的崇拜英雄的时侯，嫉妒与偏见自然的失去了滋生的土壤。骄傲的英雄是抵制嫉妒与偏见的一剂天敌良药。在所有人迷恋英雄的同时，嫉妒与偏见自然的被忘却，遗弃并踩在了脚下！赞美与共勉的欢乐，没有介怀的友情，难道不能让你心向往之吗？

 

美国的一个电影“A few good man” 中文的翻译好像是叫“律政风云”香港翻译好像叫“义海雄风”（对不起，中文名字我不肯定！）我很喜欢。男主人公最后一刻的成功不但迎得了所有在场人和朋友的钦佩目光，更赢得了对手的五体佩服。他的成功，离不开他身后的两位刚刚结识的工作伙伴。

 

另一个好莱坞的获奖片“阿憨正传”，写的是一个有点儿傻气的阿憨，他的成功之路也是宽广无阻的。只要是自我努力，终究会被认可的。故事简单，感人。我更喜欢它的背景音乐。

 

中国五千年文化孕育出来的土壤，绝非人才匮乏之地。当今人物杨澜，气质高贵，才貌双全，在北京申奥时，用她的人格魅力感染着国际奥委会的官员们。导演张艺谋，用其美奂美仑的奥运盛典，笑看美国好莱坞百年影视基业。华裔女士伍冰枝中年之后，又登上了加拿大总督的宝座。像这样的优秀华裔人物不胜枚举！可即便是这样，还免不了有人在背后对他们指手画脚。如果人人都能以此种行为为耻为戒，何愁孩子未来的天地不广阔，不快乐！ 如果连我们自身都在这块土地上肆无忌惮的任意妄为，回头再在孩子身上去拔苗助长，想抹平自己的过失，便是痴人说梦！

 

人无完人。不要去评论，指责别人的过失，毫无意义。况且，人各有所好，活法不同。出格越界，自有法律约束；高矮胖瘦，也是天生所致，轮不上谁去点评。反省一下自我。“君子每日三省而乎矣，则知名而行无过矣。”老祖宗的话，不能全听。但这句话可不能不听！

 

更可悲的真理之说还有这样一句：“好事不出门，坏事传千里。”也被人人默认了！言外之意的“人人”都在做些什么呀？难到说好话比说坏话难吗？改改习惯！中国人大多都不相信宗教，思想便没有了束缚，无所顾忌。如果自己再不有所约束和收敛，发展下去，可怕之极！

 

在加拿大的一个大学里，一个女孩说出了自己的经历：“自己很小的时候曾被一个成年的男子给强暴过。”她为什么自己说出来呀？因为她想解压，并让身边的朋友，同学多理解自己一些，男朋友多疼爱自己一些。她得到了！身边的朋友和同学都很慷慨的多给她些爱护。男朋友对她更是呵护有加。这次伤害会给她的一生造成不幸吗？她现在阳光极了，每天无忧无虑的，像个开心果。她是个开心而疯狂的，喜欢撒娇的女孩！她那不幸的经历随着岁月的流失愈变愈小。。。

 

如果这个女孩儿在中国，让我们给她设想一个未来。。。？

 难道中国的“海纳百川”之胸怀，还不够深刻和广阔吗？别喊，去做吧！

 人在生活当中，做很多的事情都是一种习惯，也不见得谁就刻意的想去伤害谁。可是这陋习一旦形成了风气，他的杀伤力我们就不可忽视了。

 

若能宽以待人，人与人之间便少了许多人为的伤害。若人人都反其道而行之，你能偷得一日闲吗？

 

如果是真正爱你的孩子，那么就抵制狭隘与偏见，诽谤和嫉妒，为耻为戒吧！给子孙万代留一块让他们享乐生命之光的土壤，别让他们活的那么累。请从我做起！

 

让我们把“骄傲”送给我们的优秀儿女！为他们清除每一块土壤里的“嫉妒与偏见”！ 悠悠万事，唯此为大！

Tuesday,Nov 11 2008, 11:47:20 AM1：望子成龙就是尊重孩子的选择！

对“天生吾才必有用”这句话，你是否感觉太唯心呀？可我不这样看！

在温哥华，我很喜欢给我的小宠物买些东西，所以我经常去这样一家宠物店。

这是老罗伯特夫妇和儿子小罗伯特一家三口开的宠物店。老罗伯特夫妇每天都乐呵呵的，儿子小罗伯特却是个“侏儒”似的孩子。但小罗伯特生活的很自信和骄傲。他精神饱满的随时和客人主动友好的打着招呼，绘声绘色的向咨询的客人介绍着如何科学饲养宠物和他们的个性特征。

他的父亲老罗伯特喜欢和我聊天，和我先生更是无话不谈。

每每老罗伯特说到儿子的时候，他的脸上都带着成功和自豪感。他们夫妇来自马来西亚，儿子从小就喜欢各种小动物，因为缺乏自信，所以也不太愿意和人打交道。为了儿子，老罗伯特开始留意这些小动物了。

为了培养小罗伯特的兴趣，他开始带着儿子参加一些“如何了解和科学饲养动物”的短期课程。父子二人逐渐开始有了他们每天都谈不完的话题。母亲非常的慈爱，对他们父子二人的一切选择都非常的支持。就是这样，他们父子终于有一天决定了，要开一家宠物店。这个决定又得到了母亲的大力支持，她把多年持家节省的积蓄毫不迟疑的全部拿了出来，笑呵呵的对他们父子说：“有没有的做都没所谓，试下都好”！

父亲辞去了自己的一份养家工作，开始全身心的帮助儿子开店了。父子店很快的开张了。一开始还可以维持费用。不长时间就开始有了收入。

整洁美丽的店面，让人感觉舒服。走进去真像是进了动物乐园。这里的动物有上百种。有品种繁多的猫，狗，龟，鸟，鱼，虫，就连人们不常见的穿山甲，小蛇，蛐蛐，蝎子，变色龙，小蜥蜴等都有。这些小动物在这里都生活的很舒适开心，因为他们的家总是干干净净的，温度适宜，没有一点的异味。这里空气置换清新，食物和用水总是非常的新鲜。如果你想要和小动物玩的话，手是一定要消毒的。每次来这里买东西，我都要先欣赏和逛逛，看看又多了哪些小客人。

他们从不计较你是否会买，只要大家能有开心的话题聊聊，便是其乐融融了。

可是人们在欣赏之余，总是想知道自己感兴趣的小动物的习性。小罗伯特从不让客人失望。客人有时从排队等待咨询，变成了大家一起畅谈饲养心得，即便是只想买东西的客人也参加进来。小罗伯特的讲解，故事性更是非常的强，所以好奇的客人很快的都有了自己的宠物。

小罗伯特现在已经有了近十个雇员了。有负责训养的，环境与卫生的，饲养的，宠物医生，还有保育人员负责照顾刚出生的小宠物的。看的出来，这些工作人员和他们一家也相处的很和谐。他们大都是加拿大本地人。
小罗伯特的母亲也来店里帮手了。能和老公儿子一起工作，对她无疑是最丰厚的精神享受了。

小罗伯特前两年还给父母买了一套50多万的房子，现在升值近80万了。他生活的很有自信，也很阳光。在他那张充实而微笑的脸庞后面，让你感到更深刻的是老罗伯特夫妇脸上的满足与自豪！

中国有句话叫”行行出状元”。可是你有没有想过，这“状元”可不是逼出来的。每个行业里，最出类拔萃的优秀人才，都有个共同点，就是他们都找到了自己喜爱的工作，他们乐在其中。他们不但游刃有余的驾驭着自己喜爱的工作，而且无时无刻的不在享受着工作给他们带来的乐趣。难道你不觉得人的精神生活，生命的意义就在于此吗？

我知道，中国的很多家长，他们替孩子选择职业，逼孩子读书，甚至安排工作，出国，就连娶妻生子的问题他们都不甘寂寞。孩子的乐趣与爱好早就被扼杀在摇篮里荡然无存了！

更可悲的是，有些家长，他们从不会意识到诱导或逼孩子一辈子做他们自己不喜欢做的工作，对他们是多么的不公和精神虐待。他们更无心的去体会孩子每天背负着自己不喜欢的8小时以上工作，该是多么的疲倦和无奈。在这些家长声嘶力竭，永无休止的埋怨孩子不争气或没出息的时候，他们更不体察和反省他们自己为什么也生活的那么累。因为他们无形的剥夺了孩子的所爱，孩子的乐趣，孩子的美好未来。他们再想用他们的意愿来填补些什么，即使终其一生也无所作为！哪怕是填座金山！