Saturday,Jun 26 2004, 10:06:43 AMHmm... Okay I have officially tried...

Hmm...
Okay I have officially tried everything to cheer myself up. I’ve eaten entire boxes of mint dinner chocolate strips. I’ve drunk a whole bottle of champagne that my dad kept in his study room. I’ve played the piano for the whole day, directing my misery into a form of music. I’ve bugged my friend to drive me along the beach during sunset. I’ve dragged my cousin to a shopping spree. I’ve even given money to those roadsides beggars, thinking that an act of selflessness might bring me inner peace.

Unfortunately, the only results I got from these methods were nausea, half-drunk, my neighbors complains, a stiff neck, an almost empty pocket and dirty car. Even sex and the city didn’t do the trick. I must be worst off than I thought.

It’s like I’ve gone totally numb. Nothing matters much anymore. Stuff that used to occupy my thoughts all the time has now been elbowed out of the way. It’s like I’m stuck in reverse. Right now I’ve got three articles to write for my sister’s assignment and two accountings to do for my dad. But every time I sit down in front of my computer, I space out, and the next thing I know, an hour has passed and all I’ve done is think about nothing.

Even mom and dad don’t like me hanging around the house all the time. How pathetic is that? They keep nagging me to take up music lessons. Mom keep asking around for a good piano tutors or violin teachers for me, as if I haven’t been self-learning piano and violin all these years.

She just doesn’t understand. No one does. That the only problem I have right now is not boredom but a person. Someone whose name I rather not mention.

Tuesday,May 11 2004, 02:08:34 AMHome... I'm waiting eagerly for the time to...

Home...
I'm waiting eagerly for the time to pass by...coz...I'm going home tomorrow!! Indo here I come...hehe... Missing my family and friends real badly... It has been months since I last bugged my Dad in his office, spend the whole day in the mall with my mom and played small tricks on my sister...
In comparation to Indo, S'pore seems so meaningless... It is not that S'pore is bad or anything but it's because Indo is home and I love everything about it.... including the traffic jams and the corruptions. haha... yeah... everything just seems so easy ...

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Monday,May 10 2004, 06:57:02 AMWhen... ... you go crazy, do you know that...

When...
... you go crazy, do you know that you’re going crazy? Do you retain some objective part of yourself that watches it happen? Or does the fact that you’re still thinking coherently enough to wonder if you’re going crazy mean you’re still sane?

Who knows if all those nineteenth century writers who ended up stark raving mad ever stopped to think, “Hmmm, this poem is pretty out there. Maybe I better take it easy on the opium for a while”. Or if Van Gough said to himself, “Gee, I wonder if chicks really dig getting bloody, severed ears ...

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