Journals
Tuesday,Sep 27 2005, 09:07:51 AMAll guys should need a brain scan!
All these people should just cut me some slack! Why John demanded Winnie to explain that there's nothing going on between them both? I really don't even care. How pathetic I looked in the cafetaria when Winnie, someone I barely even know popped by and explained. Why is this happening again? Why must another guy made another girl to pop by my place and explain? First, it was Andrew. And now, John!!
Who exactly is that person who told Andrew I was out at Kbox singing my lungs away when I was at Big Bookshop purchasing "Betty and Veronica" double digest and my project materials? Just because it (our meet up or whatever he called) slipped off my mind and he actually stay indoor, thinking I would pop by his place was just his wishful thinking. I did not make him stay at home and not attend classes!! If he think by talking to other guys and being friendly make me look like I care for them is causing him to be all jealous, so be it! I do care for my friends, in regardless of whether they are male or females... I can't believe how outrageous he is when we aren't even in a relationship!! I can't imagine how crazy he is when we are. Screw it!! Fucking accusing me when I did nothing. If he think I am out to play the field, so be it!! He should fucking find other girls who would listen to him, like his girlfriend!!!! "She doesn't go around talking to guys because she know I don't like it..." That's fucking dumb of her because she doesn't realised her boyfriend said HE LOVE THE OTHER GIRL INSTEAD!! I fucking don't need to do any explainations for my every action and I fucking not dependent on the guys!!
See! I was fucking right all along! All chinese men thinks it's an obligation we chinese girls should serve them and do whatever they say. You know what? They can fucking kiss my ass or fuck spider or whatever god damn shit they do when they go ape!! Fuck it! If he thinks I am a bitch, go fucking ahead because my friends call me a bitch who speaks what's on her mind. At least I am not a bitch who go fucking around with whoever she grab her hands on. And at least, I don't throw myself on rich men. All guys are just fulla shit especially those chinese guys I know!!
Monday,Sep 5 2005, 05:19:46 PMSay what?
· A ring from Tiffany & Co.
· A dress from Zara
· Chanel No 5 perfume
· Dior sunglasses
Does these matters to me even if it’s just an innocent gifts coming from Andrew? And those gifts are what I uttered when he insisted what I want for my birthday. I WAS KIDDING, ANYWAY and god, he actually wanted to purchase. (Not entirely sure though but whatever!)
It’s just a gift?! I know it is but I simply can’t bring myself to accept. I liked Andrew in the past but right now all I wanna do is lead a free spirit life. I know he will come back to me! Not that I am this really gorgeous, hot and fantastic girl but this happen umpteen times. I tried ways and means to explain there’s no way we can be together! Once a vase is broken into pieces, there’s no way it’s gonna be perfect with those pieces glued together! He basically refuse to give up and constantly whining why can’t I like him anymore like I used to blah blah blah. I wanted so much to believe him but that’s not going to happen for sure. Once bitten, twice shy.
Saturday,Sep 3 2005, 05:02:11 AM...
Gracious! Serguan actually confessed he still does feel something for me right after his last relationship sour. i trust him. we've been friends since high school. hardworking and studious. True that we are always there for each other and all. But right now we decided we will take things slow and all.
Friday,Sep 2 2005, 04:07:56 PMThat...
He thinks he could continue lying to me?! Just by saying he's decided to choose me over his girlfriend could get me all smitten again? No way! He screwed it time and time again. Okay, maybe only once! Though everyone deserve a second chance, he's the exception. " Baby, text me when you get home and when ur hitting the sack, okay?" Why the hell he bother? "Because you matter to me!!" Duh! I don't buy that! Never. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PROCLAIM YOU LIKE ME, LOVE ME, MISS ME OR WHATEVER!! He can go to hell for all I care. So what if he's in the club right now, dancing away with god knows which girl he laid his eyes on. Eww...
I seen it (the photographs) all in Friendster.com and yes I was right that he was playing the field. He had pictures of he and his girlfriend. Damn, I really wonder how his girlfriend gonna react if she learns what Andrew said to me and all. My heart goes out to have sucha rotten boyfriend like him. Screw!
Thursday,Jul 28 2005, 05:20:58 PMI don't care and get outta here!! Fast!!
Andrew, the guy who is interested in me somehow got tired of being cut loose, well apparently by me. Pardon me but that wasn't my intention. For starter, we gotten to know each other for like a day and he suggusted we go on a date. I am cool about going out but not when I don't even know him well enough to go out! It's not about being old fashion. It just doesn't seem right to me! I ain't those typical girl who basically go out with a guy just because he said so! I am a girl with a mind of her own! He knows that, for sure! I don't care if he's unhappy or whatever! He wanna start a fight? I am on! He doesn't know that's my speciality!!!
I don't wanna go out with him or well, even talking on the phone doesn't imply I am ignoring him or whatsoever. The arguement was pretty intense when he flared up, exclaiming how "interested" I am to see him here. I was rather level headed till he started using the fuck word on every sentence and yeah, I lose it! Completely!! Come on, you're the one who's interested in me and just because I ain't gonna go out with you or even chatter on the phone doesn't give him the right to say the "fuck" word! Even if it's on MSN!! Isn't that as good as hurling abusive word at me? That ass head! That dick head! He better not run into me during lunch break in school or the library or wherever I roam around in school. I am going to give him one hella ride he wish he never start! What kinda guy he is? Patience running thin? Go find or search or whatever for a girl who's eager to go out with him!! Ugh! That jerk!
I know I left him dumbfounded even though I was argueing to everything he said, claimed, commented and whatever shit he think is unfair! How dare he ask me to place myself in his shoe!! At least, I am cool enough to tell him get some rest! Damn, I should be nastier! I coulda say "go get a life!" or maybe something like, "cut me some slack, get outta here!" Chinese guys can be sucha asshole sometimes!
Thinking about him reminded me of the "SPG" tagging on me! That's so dumb! What kinda perception is that because I talk to Caucasian or fall in love with makes me a Sarong Party Girl? I'm not a bimbo! I can't say I am too smart for him either. I am neither brainy or stupid. I want respect!! R-E-S-P-E-C-T! This is atrocious! "I don't know what are you up to! It's so hard asking you out on a date let alone a phone conversation. Maybe I am not white, that's why!" Damn, I wish I could slap his face with Tampax! He went too far this time! Totally! He's prolly dumb or ignorant by the way he speak. Totally infantile! I grow up in a multi racial country and just because whites fit into my list of friends make me a weirdo? I don't give a damn if Caucasians ain't on his favourite list! How could he discrimate and throw assumptions around like that? He ain't sensible! For sure! I am not speaking up for the Whites. There're always black sheep in a family! Doesn't he know that? I was raging in fire the second he admitted he's impatient but at least he's not looking for someone to get laid! God, see what the fuck he's uttering!! I am going to anticipate some drama soon. Whether he's going to apologize for being sucha jerk or he's going to leave me alone and get on with his loser life. This is going to be interesting! Wait till my girlfriends and boyfriends hear about this later in school!!!