Journals
Monday,May 30 2005, 08:14:21 AMFriends forever? Or for now and never?
Things aren’t the way they were before. I don’t even recognize them anymore. I felt so weird sitting right next to Jiajie and Karen, realizing how much we have drifted apart from all these years. So unlike when we are back in high school, where we are always meeting up before and after school, even lunch and stuffs. And now, all of us have our own life and new friends. One thing for sure, I no longer feel the cliquishness I once had for them. There they were talking about their friends which I am completely have no idea about and their frequent hang out at the clubs blah blah blah, made me sitting right there eating my darn lunch. Neither am I an outcast nor a social misfit. It’s a fact I have drifted apart from them. I don’t hang out with those people they hang out with. Not true that I wanna be cool or whatever so I don’t hang out with them anymore! It’s just that I was never comfortable speaking to a bunch of Chinese speaking girls and guys whose thinking and tastes in fashion, music and guys which I am completely baffle about. If you know what I mean. I tried my best to comprehend but as far as I am concerned, it’s not getting anywhere for me. Damn, now I am blabbering away. That explains why I am far more comfortable hanging out with my beloved cousins, brothers and some good friends of mine. Know what’s the secret behind it? Easy! They speak English and we think alike and most importantly, we understand each other. I suppose!! That’s significantly important to me!! To communication! Not communication barrier. Can you believe Jiajie actually said I can’t wait to head home, not that he gets to see me frequently? Oh yes, that’s for sure. I drifted apart long before I know.
All right, enough of that. I am still pondering over what kinda pictures in Jiajie’s cell which required more than just persuasions. If it isn’t about erotic pictures he took with his girlfriend which he repeatedly insisting it isn’t, what else is there to hide from us? Urgh! I loathe the suspense he’s giving, simply kills me. He’s like imposing a “stop” sign to us both, his good friends. Okay, maybe to Karen. After all I have already drifted away. (Did I just say that again?)
Sunday,May 29 2005, 11:58:21 AMworn-to-a-frazzle SUNDAY
I really live up to my nickname, esp, the one Zamee gave to me. I can't believe I woke up in the early afternoon before dozing off after a couple of hours again. And the next thing I know, I am sitting on the dining table, alongside with the rest of the family memeber having my dinner. What a pig I am!! Yeah, this is what I am doing on my favourite day, Sunday. Pathetic? Oh yes, it is. Totally!!
I am not longer the systematic kinda girl anymore. Well, maybe just for today. I dug whatever I can find in my closet and made a mess of it. And I can't believe what I did either! I took, pull and stuff into my large weekender travel bag. Tank tops, blazers, sweaters, active pants, skirts blah blah blah ended up in a huge mess. I can't be bothered to clear and merely close it (my closet). Turn into a blind eyes and headed back to my warm comfortable bed. LOL. So, the problem is, I have no idea if those stuffs in my bag gonna make me feel good. Urgh. I should just take everything out and do it all over again. I am sucha vainpot. Or should I say vanity is running thru my blood. Oh whatever!!
- Toiletries
- Beauty care
- Undies
- Clothes
- Accessories
- Sunglasses
- Flip flops
- Skimmer
- Most importantly, BOOKS!!
Saturday,May 28 2005, 07:06:14 AMXhausted
Had the worst night ever. Constant whingings coming out of my mouth, major headache and whole lots of sorting out problems to do. What a life!! My mind is twirling! Urgh. Yes, been querulous in temperament and been snapping at everyone since the second I got up from my crumpled bedspread and duvet falling off. See, what a mess I am?
I can't believe I actually went out with a bare face, free from sun screen, free from other make up or damn concealer. LOL. This frivolous mood defintely got me in the head. It doesn't matter a single bit when I know people were staring at me, like some kinda weird looking alien show up. Am I blabbering too much?
I should prolly decide what should I bring to the trip. Urgh! I wanna look my best! Yes, narcissism is acting up again. All right, no more self pity. I am outta here. I gotta leave some darn messages for Mark, Filipe, Karl and Daniel. I don't wanna risk a flooded inbox when I leave for the trip. Oh yes, I almost forgot about the meeti up tonight!
Friday,May 27 2005, 08:12:19 PMMajor headache
I am suffering from a major headache and no matter what I gotta bare my heart and gut out. I hate that fucking cabby! I hate his dishonesty. Urgh. The more I think about it, the more I think I shouild have pointed my middle finger at him before slapping that damn door. Urgh!! Doesn't this cabby have moral value? Didn't his Momma taught him to be honest?
I gave him more than what my fare is and I expected him to return whatever excess I given. Apparently, he did nothing of that. It's fine with me. I could treat it as a tip. But just because the fact he did not do anything, I got terribly mad. So mad that I can't take it lying down. Urgh!
Thursday,May 26 2005, 05:53:41 PMBack to good
I know Karl is not going to leave me on the lurch. He came back for me. As per normal. Yes, how the hell did we wind up like this? He got my contact removed. However, he added me once again and apologizes. Boy, am I glad. It was my bad and I had everything in control. I bare my guts out. Everything! And yes, everything is under control. He makes me think of old married couple. It becomes a habit for him to announce he’s leaving to work or so and end it with “I love you”. That makes me guiltier than before.