Journals
Sunday,Mar 25 2007, 11:05:51 PMMy Dear Lonesome Searching Friend
If you had looked at my profile you would know why I cannot answer
you personally. Any answer, even a simple "Hi, thanks for your
message" might wake false hopes.
No, I am not the woman you were looking for. I am married. I am not
online for dating. (Not at all for so called "casual dating".)
(I know it is a mistake to say "I believe you" and even a worse one to
say "I understand". But) I really believe that you are serious. And you
won't like to read, why I understand your situation: I did not come online yesterday and saw within the first few days that perhaps 90%
of all people online search for a mate. And far less than I thought
look for "that other thing", fortunately. (Well, those don't disturb me much, I block
them and that's it.)
But guess with how many nice and sweet men like you - from your
country as well - I got involved in nice conversations before I realised,
they where going to ask me to start a relationship, even after I had
learned to tell them I'm married, and not in an "open relationship" with
the first sentence.
Should I have blocked the nice guys too? Anyways – I did not.
And thus I came to know so many lives, the insides of so many heads,
that I sure understand you and your situation, and believe you are
honest – even though I know you send the same message to every
woman in this community, lol.
Did you know, by the way, that it is extremely contra-productive to show
such obvious despair?
And that NO woman will believe you are serious when you act this way?
Yes, this is a clash between eastern and western culture and habits as well.
But most other women do not know about this either. It is you who must
consider how to act not to disturb us.
To say it more clearly: Sorry, It simply looks silly to say you are looking
for a relationship with this woman you do not know the least bit.
Do not try to rush it. Be patient! Start an easy conversation about
anything but your searching a partner.
Get to know her. Find out, if she is searching one before you tell her
you are. You should mention it in your profile.
Ah yes – the PROFILE – you know what that is, don't you? - FILL IT IN !!
Why? We want to see from whom the message comes! And a photo
alone is not enough! I hope, you do not really go by looks only?
And when it is not even your real photo, we find out at 1 glance.
And DO READ the women's profiles before you send messages and ask
to be added to their messengers!
Ok, more about that later when I have set up my next website and done
my next Squidoo Lens.
Sorry, you will understand that I cannot add you to any messenger, not
even to discuss this subject instead of what you originally wanted.
So, my friend, be patient, no need for desparation anyways, you are still young (and even if you are not:) You can never force it, the more you
try the longer it will take to succeed.
Stop making a fool of yourself by sending emails like the one you sent
to me ;)
Good luck with your online dating – never have too high hopes,
but it can happen.
Take care,
~Neila~
Wednesday,Jun 8 2005, 01:27:24 AMCould she be me?
There's a woman on the internet, she looks a lot like me.
She's sweet, soft, strong and comforting, she's proud and fancy free.
My fingers do her typing and her webcam shows my face
And gradually bit by bit this woman takes my place.
She answers you with my own words, and uses them so well
That whoever has a problem must feel an urge to tell.
She is perfect company when someone's feeling blue
Ever sunny ever smiling - cause I feel lonesome too.
They all say she's so beautiful, she doesn't show my age
Her dark soft voice so tempting, they cannot leave her cage.
Though she strict declines false promises, warns off illusive dreams,
They still use her as sweet substitute in their imaginings.
This woman in the internet she goes by many names
She's offered souls and breaking hearts and even takes the blame.
They request time and comfort, so they switch her on
But there's not one among them who would miss her were she gone.
But she can never leave the internet, she never will walk free
And no one ever should forget: This woman is not real.
No, I am not this woman - that can never be
No, I am not this woman - this woman is not real.
© Neila S.R. Visitor 2004