Tuesday,Jan 17 2006, 07:49:20 AMTeenage Burden - Parts 1-4

Oh my... well doesnt this suck? lol i might aswell put this journal/site to some use... from now on i will post my stories here... yayness, seeing as my deviantart is a bit too overloaded... I wrote this story,  it might be obsessive at times, and it also might be stupid and slow and not enough action, but I'm proud of it and i dont really care what anyone else has to say. I wrote awhile ago and its loosley based on real situations but only so i can help people to realise how things work in my head and how everything somehow gets fucked in the process... ok, enough talk, Onto the Boredom:

 

-=-Teenage Burden-=-

::This story contains explict language and/or themes::

Karen turned away from the keyboard and looked at her desk. The crumpled empty PEZ wrappers and her old jewelry flung over the bars of her bunk bed. So many memories, so many lies. She turned back to glance over her progress. Shit. She thought about getting another cup of coffee but decided not to. The last had kept her awake so she could work, but had made her typing erratic and pointless. Too much coffee she presumed. She looked around to find something else to occupy her caffeinated mind. She could go watch television, but she didn’t want to wake her stepdad and her mother, their room was right by the stairs. She pondered for a moment debating with herself then she got up from her chair and plugged her headphones into the radio. Nothing but old songs and love song dedications. She hated love songs, just stupid ballads about how much some person can’t live without another. They get so repetitive aswell.
After playing game after game of Spider Solitaire Karen finally started to tire and she strode over to her bed and turned out the light.

 

* Karen *

 

“Kay?”
Karen stirred and opened her eyes, confused and tired. It took her a second to realize where she was.
“Kay? You up?” a tall blonde girl was crouched at her side peering carefully at Karen’s face for signs of life.
“Yeah Lauren, I’m up… Hi” She said through hazy eyes and a migraine. She lifted her arm to shade the sunlight out of her eyes to look at her sister. “What’s that?” she said gesturing towards a blue piece of paper in her hand.
Lauren lifted her hand and politely gave the paper to Karen, who was now sitting at the edge of her bed rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“I dunno. Someone called. I took down a message for you.”
“Oh, ok. Thanks.”
Lauren nodded and let herself out. Karen examined the note closely, she could never really understand her sister’s handwriting.

 

Jimmy wants to know what’s happening for Thursday.
Call back.

 

Karen flipped the note curiously then set it down on her desk. Jimmy was her only friend back at her old school. They used to hang out a lot and the girls used to accuse them of being together, although almost everyone knew Jimmy had a girlfriend. She went to another school and didn’t even know Karen existed. Jimmy liked to keep their friendship a secret from her because she would get really jealous. It didn’t used to bother her that much. ‘What’s happening Thursday?’ Karen wondered. She paused for a moment to think. ‘I’ll call him later.’ She sat down at her keyboard and leaned over to turn on her computer. She would have to get her work finished this weekend or she’ll definitely fail English. It wasn’t her strongest subject and neither was writing a book review for the Harry Potter series. She stared at her desktop for a moment whilst she thought of what to do. No way could she read all the books this weekend. The fifth one had to be over 500 pages long. She eventually came to the conclusion that she would get someone else to do it for her. Maybe Jimmy, he likes books. Anyway she couldn’t do anything now. It was about 2:00 pm. Lunch first then thinking. In her mind everything related to food came first, no matter how much of an emergency.
Downstairs her mother was reading. She looked up as Karen opened the sliding door to the lounge room.
“Have some brekkie, Hun” she said kindly sliding her glasses back to the bridge of her nose.
“It’s lunchtime, mom.”
“Oh is it? I’ve been here since seven-thirty” Her mother replied “I got through eight chapters!”
“Great” Karen mumbled as she walked through to the kitchen. She opened the cupboard clumsily and stared inanely at the shelves. Mustard, salt, vegemite, ketchup, peanut butter. She reached into the far corner and pulled out an empty jar. Karen looked inside and put it down on the bench next to her. Only a few bits left, probably enough for toast or… She snatched up a packet of rice cakes. Nice.
“I got some more rice cakes, Hun” she heard her mom call from the sofa.
“Yeah thanks, I got them.” Karen opened the jar and spread the remains of peanut butter onto a rice cake. Then she walked up to the large hickory table and slid out a chair.
“You called Jimmy yet?” Lauren asked from the other end of the table.
“Nope. I only just got up.”
“Yeah Kay. It’s your turn to feed Mastre today.”
Karen turned her attention to a curled up pile of black fur known as their cat.
“Yeah sure, later.” She mumbled as she bit into her rice cake. She shoved the rest into her mouth and got up from her seat.
“God, shove it in Kay.” Lauren said with eyebrows raised.
“Th-ang coo, I vill” Karen replied through a mouthful of peanut butter.
Lauren shook her head and watched her sister swallow her lunch and pick up her phone. Karen flicked through her mobile’s address book. Jacque, Jason, Jesse, Jimmy. She punched the talk button and held the phone to her ear.
“Hello?” a young boy answered.
“Jimmy?”
“Oh. Hi Kay. ‘Sup?”
“Not much, you called?”
“Oh yeah. Are you gonna come down to the park on Thursday?”
“I’m not sure.”
“well c’mon I wanna see you again.”
“yeah, wont see you since I’ve been expelled” she chuckled “Well alright. What time?”
“Around 6… Courtney’s freaking out about her review.”
“Yeah, well I haven’t really started yet. I’ve never read Harry Potter.”
“Oh, your gonna be in shit… What school you going to anyway?”
“Dunno yet. Mom has to meet up with Murthy sometime this week. I probably won’t know until the holidays are over. I had to pick the end of term 3 to get expelled…”
“Yeah don’t worry bout it. I gotta go. See you Thursday, alright?”
“Yeah fine. Bye Jimmy!”
“Bye Kay.”
Karen hung up and looked around for some paper. Lauren’s blue notepad was sitting by on the bench. She looked to see if she was watching. No, the TV seemed more interesting. Karen Picked up her sister’s notepad and ripped off a sheet of sparkly blue paper and scrawled down a few notes.
Mastre was meowing at her feet.
“Yeah, Yeah. Hang on” Karen went to the cupboard and pulled out a bag of dry food.
“Here you go” she whispered as she poured it into Mastre’s bowl. “Now let me leave in peace.”
She got up and strode over to the stairs. With the scrunched up blue paper still in her hand she opened the door to her room and sat staring at her screensaver. She had to type but she had a total mental block. Nothing to write about anyway. She opened up a few folders and looked at her sketches. Her favorite was the one of Ivy from ‘Soul Calibur’. She loved the costume and her weapons the most.
Karen leaned over and turned on her radio.
“Karen?” Her mom poked her head around the open door.
“Yeah?”
“You know you’ve got school tomorrow, right?” Her mom walked up to her and crouched at the end of her desk.
“School? I know it’s Sunday but I thought I didn’t go to school anymore.”
“Yeah but Hunnie,” She put her hand on Karen’s knee. “We enrolled you in a nice school in Richmond your gonna go tomorrow to get shown around and all this week we’ll meet your new teachers. Ok?”
“Uh, yeah sure. Will—“
“Cool, Hun, we’ll get you up tomorrow. Dress nice” Her mom picked up some dirty clothes from the floor and walked out, closing the door behind her.
Karen knew that when her mom said ‘dress nice’ she meant that she shouldn’t wear as much chains and black make-up. She thought about what this school would be like and what uniform they have, if any. ‘Black tank and bondage jeans’ she thought as she walked towards her old redwood dresser. She took out a range of jeans and clipped different straps to them. The checkered ones she bought in the Plaza that month, the blue ones that were white before she found some fabric dye or the black ones she wore everywhere? She paused for a moment and listened to the silence. It was a very rare occasion when her house was this silent. In them occasions she always drew the best sketches and concept art. She rushed over to her desk and pulled out a stack of different papers and a pencil case covered in all her friends’ signatures. She moved her keyboard and other stuff to clear a space and she started to sketch.
Time passed and she found herself surrounded by pieces of paper with different characters and animals all over. The products of her imagination dancing from her pencils and creating pretty scenes in front of her. Soon enough she ran out of paper. She didn’t quite feel like drawing anymore and the silence had gone. She could hear Lauren playing with Mastre downstairs and she knew it was just about six o’clock. Karen picked up her walkman and checked the CD. Nickleback. ‘Cool’ she thought as she packed away her pencils and stacked her drawings in the corner. She would scan them in later.
“Kay, dinner’s on!” Her mom called from downstairs. Nice. She needed food to help her concentrate if she had school tomorrow. She would have to think about what to wear and how to act. A different school was a chance for her to make her life better. These people didn’t know her so they wouldn’t judge her as much as the bitches she knew before. Only one thing she had to be wary of. ‘Don’t lie, whatever you do, don’t lie.’ Karen had a habit of stretching the truth for no reason. She just lied about anything and it would always make her life hell.
“Kay?!”
Karen hurried downstairs and sat down at the hickory table. Roast beef and gravy was sitting on a bamboo mat in front of her. Food was definitely better than her computer. And that was saying something. She smiled at her family and picked and her beef, shoving it in her mouth while bobbing her head to the music.
“Karen, ---- --- listen -o ---- CD’s at di--er?” her Stepdad, Jason was looking at her and saying something.
“What?” She said pulling out her headphones.
“Must you listen to your CD’s at dinner?” He asked looking annoyed.
“Oh, sorry.” Karen pulled her hair forward over her ear and snuck a headphone in. This time she tried not to bob her head.
“Nice Meat” she said loudly. Lauren laughed. Jason just shook his head and started to eat.
Karen was the first to finish. She took her plate to the sink and ran the tap over it for a second. She returned to her seat and finished her drink, all the while singing every few lines of ‘This is How You Remind Me’ very loudly and very badly. Lauren laughed and motioned for Karen to turn down the volume.
“Got anymore sketches?” She asked when Karen stopped singing.
“Uh yeah actually. They’re not much though. Just people and clothes and stuff.”
“Any more of Spike?”
“Yeah a few. I’ll get them.” Karen sped up the stairs and into her room. Spike was a character of hers she had invented only a few months ago. She had black hair with red and purple strips. She was part squirrel part human and she could transform between the two forms. Karen always drew her with the same clothes she had because they were easier and she liked to think that spike was with her, somewhere in her mind.
Karen came back down the stairs with some sheets of paper. Lauren looked intently at the pictures while Karen pointed out who was who. It was nice having a little sister, even if she was ten years younger she still was the most fun to have around.
“…And that’s Spike as a squirrel. She still has the ‘Clockwork Orange’ tee-shirt but she doesn’t have any pants. I don’t know why but most cartoon animals don’t wear them.” Karen laughed at her drawings. They were very good for a thirteen year old but it was the sentimental stuff that made them so comical. Lauren laughed too.
“They’re really good. Thanks for showing me.” She said kindly handing them back to Karen. She took them with a smile and stuck one to the fridge, Spike and Karen in an oak tree. She turned and headed for the stairs.
“I’m gonna go type.” She announced.
Hours later Karen came back down to get a drink.
“How you going, Hun?” Her mother called from her book.
“Not so good. I haven’t got much down yet. Writer’s Block.”
“Why don’t you go see what Lauren’s upto? Give your mind a break for awhile.”
“Yeah, cool.” Karen skipped into the lounge and sat on the sofa next to her sister. Some reality show was on TV.
“You see that red haired girl? She’ll be voted out. I bet” Lauren commented without once taking her eyes off the screen. It was Big Brother. Karen never really understood the entertainment value of watching people in a house but she often watched on Sundays just to see who’ll be kicked out. She liked laughing at them.
“It’s time to go… Rachael!” The lady on TV said in suspense.
“See! She’s gone! I told you. I knew she was gonna be kicked out!” Lauren said pointing excitedly at the TV.
“Yep. You picked it!” Karen said appreciably and gave her sister a high five. Now that she knew who was out of the house, she felt bored and tired.
“I think I’m gonna go to bed. It’s been a big day.” She said with a forced yawn.
“Ok. Good Night!”

 

* School *

 

Karen woke with a jolt. ‘What’s that beeping sound?’ She looked around her shady room and then onto the floor, A little cube flashing in time with the beeps. ‘My alarm clock’ she thought throwing of the covers and climbing down the steps of her bunk. *Beep* She turned it off and walked over to her redwood dresser, took out her jeans, blank tank top & her checkered bondage straps, put on her dressing gown and had a shower.
Downstairs Lauren was petting Mastre and Jason was eating from a plate of bacon.
“You’re up early.” He stated as he turned the page of his newspaper.
“Yeah, someone set my alarm. Mom said something about I have school today.”
“Yeah and she also told you to dress nice.” Lauren joked as Mastre jumped up from her lap.
“This is nice.”
“Yeah so is your lipstick” She said poking Karen.
“Well ok, but I happen to like the black.” She said poking her back.
“What are you girls having for breakfast?” Their mom said walking into the room with a steaming cup of tea.
“Coffee” Both girls answered in unison.
“Well ok but have some eggs or something aswell” Jason told them from the table. Karen went to the kitchen and cracked an egg into the hot frypan then went and sat down by Mastre. He was a lazy and mysterious cat or that’s what Karen thought. He twitched his white ears and stared out the window.
“What’s he looking at now?” Karen’s mom asked as she delivered her egg and coffee.
“I dunno.” She said turning her head to see from Mastre’s point of view. “Grass and bugs?”
Lauren sat across from her eating her eggs quickly.
“Shove it in, Laur.” Karen joked. Lauren grinned and bits of yolk were stuck to her teeth.
“Don’t worry, Kay. I will!” She laughed as she heaped another bit on her fork.

 

There wasn’t much conversation in the car. Her mom didn’t talk much anyway, only the important stuff like ‘How much syrup do you want on your pancakes?’ or ‘Make sure you have your coat, its cold out.’ The radio was enough to entertain her. On Monday mornings they always played the best stuff. Sugarcult was on at the moment. Karen bobbed her head to the music as she looked out the window at the chilly streets. Kids were making their way to school. Some were on bikes and they slid around on the icy pavement. The car started to slow as they reached a large grey stone building with an old clock and a bell. It chimed loudly and Karen saw kids of all ages running towards portables lining the back of the lot.
“This it?” Karen questioned her mother “Looks small.”
“It’s a really nice school, you’ll see.”
“Ok. I’ll take your word for it.” Karen got out of the car and tied back her long black hair into a bun. They walked up to the entrance and into a small room with a reception desk.
“Yes?” A short lady in a green spotted blouse asked from behind the desk.
“Hi, we’re looking for a Mr. Greal. My daughter is here for a tour, she’ll be enrolling next –“
“Miss Karen Ross?” The small lady interrupted.
“Uh yeah.” Karen replied awkwardly
“Good. Just take a seat and he’ll be here in a second.” She motioned towards three plastic chairs along the wall.
“Yeah. This place is small.” Karen mumbled to herself as she sat on the uncomfortable plastic. A short while after a tall man with a butt chin and a horribly unfashionable suit came through one of the small doors at the other end of the room and stood in front of her.
“You must be Kathryn Ross” he said, sticking out his hand to shake.
“Karen” Karen corrected him “And you are?” She ignored his handshake and stared up at him accusingly, not moving from her seat.
“I’m Mr. Greal, your new school headmaster.” He took back his hand and shamefully put it into his pocket. ‘I thought a headmaster would be someone from a big school’ she thought bitterly as she followed her mother and Mr. Greal through one of the small doors he had came through to meet them. She looked around at the minute dank room. An old looking table lamp sat surrounded by paperweights on an even older looking desk. At the front of the desk two more uncomfortable plastic chairs stood waiting.
“Sit, sit.” Mr. Greal invited them as he sat down in his own cushy worn down chair. He began talking as Karen looked at a very shiny plaque nailed to the desk.

 

Mr. Francis Greal
Headmaster

 

‘So his name was Francis? That explains a lot. I bet his mom still dresses him too’ She thought with a smirk.
“…We may not be as big as some other schools, but we make up for it by having a high success rate with our graduating students…” He announced Matter-of-factly. Karen rolled her eyes and pulled the gum out of her mouth. She stuck it onto the plaque.
“And also our students are happier as there is no uniform.” Mr. Greal continued.
“That’s alright, Hun, isn’t it?” Her mom chimed in. Karen looked up, confused.
“Huh?” she said, even though she heard the question perfectly well “Oh yeah…” Mr. Greal continued with his long boring speech as Karen stupidly stared out the fogged glass window in the door. A girl about Karen’s age was pacing the room stopping every minute or two to yell something at the short lady. She had short brown wavy hair with orange and blue streaks. She tugged at her black baggy shirt and threw her hands up. Karen saw she was wearing a black and white stripy arm warmer, similar to the one she had at her dad’s house. She used to wear it to hide the self inflicted cuts on her arms. She had a sudden notion of whether that girl was hiding her cuts, but the end of Mr. Greal’s speech interrupted her thoughts.
“Shall we go meet some of your teachers?” He asked excitedly. Karen watched the girl through the window as she followed her mom and Mr. Greal through another door behind his desk. They entered a long hallway with many ugly paintings hung up on the walls. Karen hated this school already. Mr. Greal knocked on a door on the left and a short round woman opened the door. She had short gray hair tied in a bun and several moles on her face and neck. She smiled politely to Karen and offered her a seat. Karen resisted the urge to cringe.
“Karen, this is Mrs. Dale” Mr. Greal said with a smile. “She’ll be your Teacher.”
“For what subject?” Karen asked suspiciously.
“All of them, of course.” Karen took a moment to comprehend. In all of her other schools she had had a different teacher for each subject, it surprised her that she would have to look at those moles every session.
“There are only 8 teachers at this school, Karen. It might take you a while to get used to.” Mrs. Dale said warmly. ‘Eight?!’ Karen thought. “How many classes would there be?”
“We teach all years from six to twelve” Mr. Greal remarked. “I thought I mentioned that before?”
“Oh, I must’ve forgotten.” Karen replied, trying to work out how many teachers her old school had.

 

After another long boring talk with Mrs. Dale about how she will grade people and what assessments needed to be finished, Mr. Greal led Karen and her mother around the school. The tour didn’t take long. There were only 16 rooms all up, not including the main building they had started in.
“Now. Would you like to meet your class?” Mr. Greal asked Karen finally.
“Yes, please.” Her mother answered. Karen wondered if Kids who went to a small school spoke like the carnie folk she’d seen on The Simpsons. She imagined walking into her class and seeing Cleatus and Brandine sitting at a table looking up at her. The thought made her laugh.
Mr. Greal showed them to a portable near the end of the row. Karen followed her headmaster up the narrow steps, into the box veranda and through the orange wooden door. She nervously stood in front of almost 20 other students. Some of them looked back at her with glaring eyes. Some of them were writing in shabby notebooks. None of them looked like carnies. Mrs. Dale was standing next to Karen looking very pleased.
“Class. This is our new student, Karen Ross.” She said loudly. Some of the kids who were writing looked up. Others just kept writing.
“Why don’t you tell the class some things about you?” Mrs. Dale asked. Karen hesitated and looked around at the kids. They all seemed so normal for such a small school. She remembered what she had demanded of herself earlier. No lies. Karen took a deep breath and started to talk.
“Well, I’m Karen. I’m 13. I lived in Durn in the city for most of my life and I went to Janesville High. And it’s way bigger than here.” She announced cautiously. Everyone just stared. No smiles, no laughs, no form of recognition at all. Mrs. Dale noticed the tenseness and motioned to Karen to keep talking.
“Uh… I’m a punk and I love Green Day and sketching random things… I like NCIS and I love Johnny Depp.” Everyone laughed. Mocking laughter. Karen smiled bitterly. ‘Well I’m a real success here’ she thought sarcastically.
“Why don’t you take a seat next to Jezebell in the corner there.” Mrs. Dale pointed to a young girl with her head on the desk, scratching at her black and white arm warmer. The same girl she’d seen yelling at the short lady from Mr. Greal’s office. Karen walked through the many desks and kids to the back. She fell into a seat one from Jezebell and looked reluctantly to the front. A blonde boy in front of her turned around stared at her. Karen tried to ignore him.
“Johnny Depp’s queer.” He said arrogantly.
“Rather be queer than illiterate” Karen replied with a smirk.
“What the hell’s illiterate?” He questioned her, as if she’d made it up.
“It means you’re a Dumbass, Dumbass.” Jezebell answered him poking her studded tongue out. She turned to Karen and reached out her hand.
“Hey, I’m Jez. And He’s Anthony, aka Dumbass.” She said with a smile.
“Hey, Karen, but most call me Kay.” Karen shaked her hand warmly and she could see Jez looking her up and down.
“Love the bondage.” She finally said. “I have some straps like them at home, but I died the white squares purple.”
“Yeah I noticed you’re a customizer” Karen said nodding towards her arm warmer. “I have one at home, but without the chain and lace trim.” Jez laughed. She had a very husky voice. Almost like she had a cold. She tucked a strand of orange hair behind her ear and scratched at her arms.
“So, you’re a punk?” Jez asked
“Yeah, take inspiration from anything.”
“I noticed. I’m a Goth; I take my inspiration from Abby.” She smiled. Karen liked Abby, a character from the TV show NCIS. She was a gothic forensic investigator and wore the best clothes.
Jez and Karen talked the whole rest of the lesson and they hung out together at recess and lunch. By the end of the day they were like best friends.
“You should meet Jimmy!” Karen exclaimed, as they made their way to the bus stop. The sun was high above their heads as it ducked behind a cloud, casting a long shadow over Jez’s face. Their school bus was old and dusty. Hardly anyone went to their school from around their town so Jez, Karen & a few year twelve’s were the only occupants.
“Yeah sure I can come with you on Thursday!” Jez said excitedly. Karen didn’t know it but she was the first friend Jezebell had had at this school. She used to cry into her pillow each night in an empty apartment, and the many scars hidden under her arm warmer reminded her about the pain she left behind.

 

>>P2: Jezebell<<

 

Beeeeep! Jezebell woke early and clumsily hit her alarm clock. ‘Another day of hell’ she thought as she stacked her clothes up outside her closet. A black tee, some old jeans and a stripy black arm warmer to hide behind. Jez left the pile of clothes and headed through her small 3^rd floor apartment to the kitchen. She flicked on the electric jug and grabbed a mug out of a dusty cupboard. ‘Coffee to start the day’ she thought bitterly as she poured the hot water over the swirling grains of old instant coffee. Jez turned on the TV and stared at the colorful characters of the morning cartoons. She had a sudden thought about murdering Elmo. Loads of questions suddenly entered her mind. How many years would that get you? Would that count as Murder or Assassination? How famous do you have to be to get assassinated anyway? She paused for a moment thinking about guns or knives. She often had thoughts of killing someone or something lovable. She didn’t know why. The idea faded and she went and got dressed, packed her bag and finished her coffee. Jez took one last look around her apartment and walked out the door.

 

The old, dusty bus pulled up next to her and she climbed on, looking around from empty seat to empty seat searching for something different to happen. She sat down, sixth from the front, and gazed out the window. She would have to see Ms. Rodage today to see if she could get her work back. She needed something to send her brother to prove she was going to school. She was only 14 and living by herself. Her father left when she was a baby and her mother died years after that. She was forced into an orphanage until she gathered enough money to run away. After that she changed her name and bought her own apartment on the other side of the city. Her brother, whom she didn’t know she had until 3 months before she escaped, was helping her avoid the police and get by on her own. But even he left after two years. He still sends her emails from Canada. He’d offered to bring Jez to come live with him and his wife but she had refused. She could make it on her own and she would show up anyone who doubted her.

 

She heard the school bell chime merrily as Jezebell got up from her seat on the parked bus and made her way awkwardly out onto the sidewalk. A few year six girls pushed past her and talked loudly in their snobby shrill voices. One of them with long wavy blonde hair looked back at Jez and stared then turned around and muttered some remark to another. Jez felt her hate rise inside her and she walked quickly to the main office to see Ms. Rodage about her missed work. She jerked open the big glass doors and stood in front of the short woman behind the desk.
“Yes, Jezebell?” Ms. Rodage asked, looking up from her clipboard.
“I’d like to get my assignment back” Jez said as nicely as she could manage.
“We’ve been over this, Jezebell, all major projects and assignments can only be given back to your parents. Are you parents here?” Ms Rodage asked even though she knew the answer.
“No…”
“Then you cannot get your assignment back yet.” She jotted something down on her clipboard, opened a large book and started to read.
“But Miss—“ Jez Started.
“But nothing, Jezebell, you get your parents up here and then you’ll get your assignment back, it’s standard regulation.”
Jez could feel her anger rising and she blew.
“That’s not fucking fair!!” She screamed at the teacher.
“It is very fair, miss Braunin.” Ms. Rodage said trying to stay calm.
“How?! How is this fair? I can’t get my work back because you have a social issue?!” Jez yelled starting to pace around the desk.
“It is Fair, Jezebell. Now please go to class.”
“No it’s fucking not!!” Jez screamed at her throwing her arms up.
“Miss Braunin. I have tried to be patient with you. You cannot get your work until I see your parents. That’s final and I will not discuss it anymore.”
“No! You fucking mole, it is not final! I haven’t been given a say in it and it’s a fucking shit as rule!!!” Jez continued to rant.
Ms. Rodage got up from her seat and looked Jez in the eye, which was very hard for a woman of her stature.
“You aren’t going to get your work. I don’t care whether you have a say in it. You will leave and go to class now and you will have a lunch time detention for your language”
Jez stared at the short tubby woman in front of her with hate. She turned around and left through the front door slamming it hard behind her, making the glass shake as if it were to break. She turned the corner and started to run, towards the classrooms and past them into the field behind. She ran across and into the adjacent trees and didn’t stop until she reached it. The spot where she would hide and cry until everything was over. The old oak in the middle of the town’s forest. She ran for the tree and slumped down on the ground leaning against a clump of roots. The old oak was about 12 feet tall with knotted roots covering it’s base. Foot holes were carved in one side that led upto a platform made of old wooden planks and sides of boxes Jez had found at construction sites. A rope was wrapped over a bough above the platform and hung down to the ground by the foot holes. Jez wiped her tears with her sleeve leaving a large smudge of black makeup around her eye and grabbed the old rope with one hand and a foothold above her head with the other. She climbed up to the platform and looked down on the forest floor below her. She lay down on the platform and let her feet dangle over the edge. She lay there and thought.

 

It must have been only second period when she woke up. A fat robin was standing on her foot and pecking at a dried up spot of pumpkin soup on her jeans. Jez casually sat up and stared at the bird for a minute then shook it off. She was used to waking up and having creatures on or around her, she wasn’t the only thing that lived in this tree. She knew for a fact a family of squirrels lived a few branches below her. Sometimes when she’d stay the night she’d hear them scurrying through the leaves on the ground burying the acorns she’d left out after trying to crack them open herself.
Jez climbed down and picked her bag up off a tree stump. She walked back across the field and made her way into one of the classrooms. Only a few students were there. She smiled and made her way to the back, to her usual seat. She sat staring at the front for a while head in her hands, then laid her head down on the desk and checked her scars under her arm warmer. They had almost healed, except for a few flakes of skin here and there. Mrs. Dale, her teacher walked into class and sat at her desk followed by the rest of her students.
“Ok. Everyone here?” Mrs. Dale asked smiling at her class. “Today, we will have a new student joining us. She comes from Durn, and I want you to be nice to her.”
Jez. Didn’t bother to look up, she just expected another small town girl who would be overrun by the popular townies and turned into another clone for their ever-growing army.
“Well I suppose they need a new recruit.” Jez muttered almost inaudibly.
A tallish girl entered the room after Mr. Greal, the headmaster. She had long black hair and she was wearing baggy jeans and a tank top. Jez didn’t even bother to look up as she heard the class go quite and a girl start to speak. Jez only looked up when she had finished and Mrs. Dale told her to sit with her. She saw an obviously punk girl striding towards the back. Jez wished she had heard what she was saying before and wondered if she was gay. The only girlfriend Jezebell had had that was the same age was a green day fan named Bonnie who was at her orphanage. She had helped her build the platform in the old oak and they used to hide together from the world below. Bonnie used to wonder what it was like to die. She used to ask what it was like to fall and what it was like hitting the ground. Jez said goodbye to her the day she found her brother, and she’s never heard of her since.
“What the Hell is illiterate?” Anthony asked from the desk in front of her. Jez immediately assumed he was talking to her and forgot about the punk girl next to her.
“It means you’re a Dumbass, Dumbass!” She said straightening up and poking her tongue out. She noticed the punk girl laughing and turned to face her.
“Hey, I’m Jez.” She said smiling. And hoping she wasn’t picking up on how Jez was trying not to flirt.
“Hey, Karen.” The girl replied shaking her hand.

 

* Meeting *

 

Karen met Jezebell at her apartment Thursday after school. She had brang a load of clothes for her to try out and customize. Jez looked at the bulging travel bag full of clothes.
“Wow. This looks like fun” She said excitedly as Karen sat Cross-legged on the floor. Jewels, buttons, badges & Different types of lace were scattered around them in Jez’s Kitchen/lounge. They were going to make some new clothes before going down to see Jimmy. Jez picked up a pair of white legwarmers and tried them on.
“Perfect fit.” She said inspecting them “a little plain though.”
Karen was looking at a handful of badges trying to find what ones would impress Jimmy the most.
“Yeah.” She agreed with Jez. “Should I wear the Sugarcult one? Or the ‘I steal Chocolate Cake’?”
“I dunno… both?” Jez replied getting up to find her fabric ink. She walked over to a small cupboard under the sink and pulled out a few pots. Blue, Purple, Black, Red & Green. She stacked them on the lino and stuck her head back into the cupboard.
“We’ll have to paint in here” She said to Karen “If we stain the carpet my landlord will kill me!” She brought out a couple of brushes and an empty pot. She stood up and filled the pot full of water and set it down by the paint. Karen leaned forward and chucked her the leg warmers.
“So, What’s this Jimmy like anyway?” Jez asked, dipping a brush in the red paint pot.
“Oh he’s nice.” Karen replied. “He’s emo, and he loves these little badges and stuff, his whole bag was covered in them”
Jez laughed as she flicked black paint at a legwarmer.

 

Three hours and fourteen items of clothing later Jez and Karen were almost ready to leave.
“Let me just touch up my eyeliner.” Jez called from her bathroom. Karen was zipping up her boots at the door. She had chosen the ‘I steal chocolate cake’ Badge and she pinned it to the strap of her dress. Jez came out of the bathroom holding an eyeliner pencil. She stuffed it in her leather and chains bag and lead Karen out the door. She was wearing some denim cut-offs and the legwarmers she had painted. They were now black with red stripes and matched her sweater very well.
Karen and Jez walked down to the mall and into a small café. A tall boy with gelled brown hair was sitting at a table near the back. When he waved at Karen, Jez deduced he was Jimmy. He stood up as they arrived at the table and hugged Karen.
“Hey, I’m Jez!” She said shaking his hand.
“Hey, I like your Sweater!” He replied as he sat down in his chair. Karen & Jez sat across from him and ordered a cappuccino.
“So, how’re you?” He asked Jez sensing her uncertainty.
“A’right…” she replied smiling. She was starting to warm up to him.
Jez, Karen & Jimmy talked for hours and only stopped once when the café owner told them they should buy something else or get out. Jimmy lead them to a park nearby and Jez and Karen perched on the swings. Jimmy stood leaning against the a-frame waiting for his turn. He told Karen what had been happening whilst she was gone.
“…It’s only been four days but a lot has happened.” He said excitedly “Jane has been saying all her crap about how she will miss you and how everyone will still love you. Then she’d turn around and take over your locker. I swear she was just itching for the day you got expelled!”
“Expelled?” Jez interrupted. She looked over to Karen.
“Well…” Karen started cautiously
“You told me you moved.” Jez accused
“I did. Well I used to live with my dad until this happened. Now I’m at my mom’s.” Karen put her head down and kicked at the pine bark. Jez just looked to Jimmy and back to Karen.
“Yeah ok. So what’d you do?” She said trying to show she was sorry. Karen noticed her tone and told herself not to lie anymore. After a while of swinging and talking Jez let Jimmy take over her spot and she went down to the chip shop to buy her friends lunch.
She came back across the street carrying two plastic bags and an opened polystyrene box of gravy and hot chips. Jimmy was sitting in the swing and leaned over and whispered something in Karen’s ear. Jez didn’t really care, she knew both used to be best friends and that he had a girlfriend. But Jez still hadn’t found out whether Karen was straight, gay or bi. She thought it rude to ask and hoped the hint would come along soon, or at least before she made a fool of herself.
“Hey.” Jez called as she approached them. She held up the blue bags and Jimmy and Karen joined her at a nearby picnic table.
“I love chips!” Karen exclaimed as she sat next to Jimmy. Jez parked herself opposite and continued eating. For a moment Jez felt jealousy building in her but then she forced it down and assured herself that nothing had happened. Jimmy’s watch started beeping.
“Oh shit. I gotta go” he said rushing to his feet. “I’ll see ya.” he waved to Karen and got on his bike.
“Well, we better go too.” Karen said looking at her watch. “It’s getting late.”

 

Jez and Karen arrived at the apartment. Jez stepped inside and talked to Karen in the door way.
“…Oh and I thought you should know” Karen told her “Jimmy asked me out.” Jez felt the rage and jealousy rising inside her.
“Cool” she said through a fake smile “Bye!” Karen grinned and turned down the hall and into the elevator. Jez slammed the door and leaned against the cold wood. She knew Karen and Jimmy would be happy and that the relationship wouldn’t probably end for at least a year. She had been pushed out of their friendship and now she was a third wheel. She hated herself. Jez ran into her bedroom and dove onto her bed. She pulled the pillow over her head and tears streamed down her face. She sat there on her bed with the covers wrapped around her for about an hour. Then she decided she’d get over it. She’d wish Jimmy and Karen will be happy and she would get on with her life and meet a nice girl. She convinced herself that it’d be alright and that as long as Karen’s happy she could be happy. Jez walked into her kitchen and grabbed a packet of Pods out of the pantry. She finished the whole box quite quickly as she watched some re-runs of old Simpsons episodes. She went to the fridge and started eating a chocolate bar. Then stopped. She threw the chocolate back into the fridge.
“I’m fucking depression eating!” She yelled. Then she started to cry again. Not knowing why the hell she was crying but everything just brang thoughts of Jimmy into her mind. She ran into her bedroom and picked up her razorblade. She just stood staring at it for a second and then put it to her skin. She felt the hot metal searing into her skin.
“No.” She yelled suddenly dropping the blade. She rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She couldn’t cut herself, she couldn’t mutilate her self for no reason. She had only just healed from the last time.
“No.” she repeated as she stripped off. She opened the shower door and stepped under the hot water. She watched the blood wash off her arm. ‘everything would be fine if we never went to see him’ she thought angrily ‘I thought he had a girlfriend anyway.’

 

>>P3: Jimmy <<

 

Jimmy strode off the bus and towards the lockers where he hung out. A few other kids stood around chatting.
“Hey” A short year seven boy called him over
“Oh, hi Gavin.” Jimmy said swinging his bag over onto his other shoulder so he could talk.
“Have you seen my sister lately?” Gavin asked “She hadn’t come home on the bus and I just assumed she might’ve been with you.”
“oh…” Jimmy looked down at his feet. He hadn’t seen Linda nor had he told Gavin that they had broken up. “I haven’t, sorry.” He said making his answers short.
“Yeah ok, I’ll ask the girls. Bye!” Gavin walked around the corner to find some of Linda’s friends. Jimmy watched him go then left for class.
Science was always a boring subject for Jimmy. Especially when he had an old Indian teacher who kept calling him James. He supposed she wasn’t as bad as his sport teacher, he always hit him hard on the back and called him ‘Jimbo’. But he really hated science when they did tests. Jimmy sat at a desk by himself in the back row, near a window. He always sat there because Karen usually had English next door around the same time. They would write stuff on note paper and hold it up against the window. Mostly about how shit their teachers were.
“James, you may start your test now.” His teacher said from in front of him.
“Huh?” He responded, nobody could understand her properly. She grabbed his test paper and flipped it over then took his pencil and pretended to fill it out.
“Oh, right…” He said taking back the paper. “Sure…”
The recess bell rang and kids flooded out of class. Jimmy handed in his test and the teacher viewed over his answers. She scribbled something in the corner and thrust it back at him. All he noticed she had done was write some funny symbol in the corner that looked like a franc.
“I thought she was Indian…” he muttered as he walked out the door, still staring at the symbol.

 

Jimmy dragged himself onto the bus and fell into a seat. School was finally over. It was very boring. Recess he went to the box veranda where he waited for Karen or Linda. But then he remembered that both had left him. He didn’t really notice before but he didn’t have any other people to hang around with, just girls. English, math and sport followed and nothing but bad marks and a sore back remained. He slumped down into his seat and stared vacantly out the window onto the narrow streets below. He was beginning to miss Karen. The first day without her and it seemed to go on for eternity. He wondered about where she was and if she was enjoying her first day. He would see her Thursday. That would be good. If only he could survive until then. The bus pulled up at the corner of his street. Jimmy lifted his bag onto his shoulder and trudged up the hill to his house, if you could call it that. Jimmy liked to call it one of those shacks in the middle of car yards. Well it was, basically. He stepped onto the front porch and fished around in his bag for the keys. His dad was never home or sober enough to open the door, so he always had to keep a spare set.
“Fuck…” he muttered as he realized he’d forgotten his keys. They were probably in his locker at school. Almost every second day he’d lock them in there. Jimmy walked around the side of his house past the old car doors and busted tires. He reached for a small blue window on the back wall right above a large painting of a naked girl. His house was forever getting graphitied and vandalized. He didn’t mind so much, some of the writing was comical and some were just drunken sketches drawn in biro. He climbed up the water pipes and through the window, landing in a dusty old bedroom filled with porn magazines and empty cigarette packets and liquor bottles. This was the room most broken into, where all the vandals used to ditch their stuff and hide out. Jimmy picked up a crowbar and wedged the door open. He made sure to put the padlocks back on. His dad never did and Jimmy hated finding couples making out in his room. They hadn’t really tried to break in anymore after his dad bought a new shotgun. The back hide-out room hadn’t really had many visitors since. But now and then a new kid would come by and think the house had been abandoned.
Jimmy fell onto his bed and stared up at the drawings covering his ceiling. All his sketches and artwork from the following semester. He stood up and took down one of a girl hanging from an old oak. One of his dreams. He used to have premonitions in his dreams. The girl and the oak was his last one, and that had happened four months ago. He thought he’d lost the gift.  Jimmy hung the picture back on his ceiling and walked over to his dresser. He’d called Karen yesterday and she seemed happy. He hoped she was. He remembered the time when he saw her scars. At camp when he had a cabin next door. He walked in on her when she was getting changed. He didn’t see anything as she had already been in a tank top and jeans but it was the first time he’d seen her without sleeves or her arm warmers, he just assumed she was sensitive to the cold. But she freaked when he saw the gashes and words of hate carved into her arm. His first premonition was that night. He saw a girl slicing through her skin and bleeding allover her dress. He had feared for her ever since.
“Jimmy? Hello?” he heard a voice from outside his window. A thin girl with brown and pink hair was looking at him. ‘Linda?’ he thought ‘why was she here.’ He went to the front door and opened it for her. She walked in and handed him his bag that he’d left on the doorstep.
“Wha-?” he started to ask as she searched around his computer desk.
“You still have my demo tape…” she muttered parting chocolate coin wrappers and scratched CDs. Jimmy thought for a moment about where it might’ve been. She tossed a few papers aside and picked up a small business card CD containing all of her songs she sung and wrote.
“You better not have listened to it.” She threatened him.
“They’re really good.” He said uncertainly. She grabbed a handful of coins and threw them at him. He frowned and watched her try to run down the street in her high heels.
“You really should get a maid!” she yelled back at him. He frowned and looked back at the chocolate coins scattered over the floor. ‘Maybe’ He thought as he started singing the chorus to ‘in the end’ Linda had become really hostile since she found out about Karen. She said that she was Jimmy’s ‘good time whore’ and that if he wanted a relationship with her that he shouldn’t have the need for female friends. He always thought she was possessive.
“Better off without her…” he muttered. He switched on the radio and started sketching. He ended up drawing some rocker girl in suspenders with the caption of a line from ‘Longview’. He brushed his hand over his hair and stood up.  The fridge was stocked with old rotten fruit and items that clearly didn’t belong there. Like a packet of tampons and an ashtray. Mostly things his dad bought when he was drunk. Jimmy picked up a few packs of pez and dusted them off. Then he picked up the tampons out of curiosity. He skimmed through the instructions and then stopped. He read the same line twice.
“What?!” he threw the box and stared at it lying on the broken tiles. ‘I feel so sorry for girls…’ he thought picking up the box and throwing it away. He looked out the window at the sun dipping beyond the horizon. He checked the clock. 7:40. ‘well I guess this is my dinner’ he thought looking at the crumbled pez in his hand. He would usually go down to the shop when there wasn’t any food but he didn’t have any money left, he’d have to wait for his dad to come home and then steal some more out of his wallet, he’d never find out. Just think he spent it on more tampons. Jimmy switched on his TV and sat staring at the reality shows until he eventually fell asleep.

 

* Baileys *

 

Jimmy awoke Friday morning on the same couch he had been falling asleep on over the last week. Yesterday had been the only day that stayed in his mind, the others were blurs of Courtney screaming and Jane’s fake pity. He had seen Karen and her friend Jez. And he had to leave before he got to know her. He stashed the chips she gave him and he managed to lift $30 off his passed out dad. There was a loud knock on the door and Karen let herself in. she was used to the mess and avoided obstacles without really looking. She gazed at Jimmy sitting on the couch. He looked at her and realized she’d been drinking. She only drank when something bad had happened or when it was to avoid an uncomfortable situation. Knowing this Jimmy braced himself expecting her to fall onto him crying or to start asking strange questions.
“Hey” she said walking over and sitting next to him. “Why?” It was the latter, Jimmy looked at her puzzled.
“Why…?” he asked gesturing her to finish her question.
“Why didn’t you tell me you needed food?” she asked looking down at her feet. Jimmy took a moment to click.
“I didn’t want to be a burden” he said trying to make his replies short and to the point.
“No, you have to be a burden. Otherwise you will always live in a craphole. No offense.”
“None taken…” He said looking at her arms.
“Come on.” She motioned him to get up. “First day of the holidays, we might as well make the most of it.” They both stood up and headed out the door and down the street.
“Why…” Jimmy started
“Because I need another Baileys and I know you have thirty bucks.” Karen replied taking his wallet and checking the contents.
“No—wait, how do you know that?” He exclaimed snatching back his wallet.
“Because I’m your girlfriend and I know everything, I’m entitled to.” She said matter-of-factly
“Ok. Well just because of that you should already know that I want some of that Baileys.”
“Yeah ok but last time you stained my dress!” Karen said pushing him playfully
“yeah well we were both shitfaced and you never wear a dress anyway” he said pushing her back.
“That’s the point! It’s the only one I own.” They turned into a car park and Jimmy went into the bottle shop. He was taller and looked way older than Karen so he always got the booze. And other times Karen would steal some out of her mother’s pantry. He came back out holding a bottle of baileys and some cowboys shots.
“Ooh, nice.” Karen said when they were out of sight. “I love them little shot glasses…”
They pulled into a nearby park and talked for ages only stopping to drink. At about 9:00 Jimmy decided they should probably leave and go back to his house, Karen could sleepover. She hated living with her dad, he was over protective. She called on her mobile and informed him she was staying around at Courtney’s.
“So …what’s up?” Karen asked upon arriving at the car yard shack and following Jimmy inside.
             “Nuthin’” Jimmy sensed Karen felt strange, he wasn’t quite sure how to act. “Wanna watch a movie?”
            “Yeah Sure!” Karen said straightening up and going over to the couch.
            “I’ve only got a few, like Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man and Little Nicky.” Jimmy said showing her the DVDs and sitting next to her.
            “Pirates of the Caribbean’s good.” Karen said grabbing the DVD and heading towards the TV. She put in the disk and grabbed the remote off the top of a cabinet. Then sat back down next to Jimmy.
As Karen skipped through the menus Jimmy noticed a faint scar of the word ‘lies’ printed on her shoulder, partly hidden by a strap on her grey tank top. He remembered the day she carved it, when her parents got divorced. The next day at school she would sit by herself and didn’t talk to anyone, including him. Only when he lifted up the sleeve of her shirt did he know what was wrong.
Jimmy rested his hand on her shoulder and watched the movie. Both he and she were obsessed with Johnny Depp movies, he liked them because of the intellect and variety of characters, she liked them because she thought Johnny was the hottest and best actor around. It didn’t surprise him. She wouldn’t have ever watched Dead man or Once Upon a Time in Mexico if they didn’t have Johnny Depp in them, they were basically stories full of violence with no real plot. But now they were some of her favorites.
Karen was asleep when the movie ended, it was around eleven o’clock anyway. Jimmy left her sleeping on the couch and got up to get some coffee or hot chocolate. Whatever was left from the last free sample nestle had sent him. He took out a sachet of coffee grains and went over to the fridge.
“Fuck, no milk.” He whispered to himself opening and closing the door again. He looked around and spotted the half empty Baileys bottle next to Karen’s hand drooping over the edge of the couch. He poured some of the baileys into a mug with boiling hot water and the coffee grains. He looked at Karen stirring from where she slept. And thought he better make her a cup too.
Karen looked up at Jimmy as he walked through the doorway with two mugs of baileys coffee. She smiled and took one of the mugs from him and set it down on the table to cool.
“So you never said what you thought of Jez” She said watching him settle down beside her.
“She seems cool” he said, unsure what she meant by the question. Karen nodded and gazed around the dimly lit room. Only one light was on, the swinging globe above their heads. It shone down on them and the couch and sent an orange glow into the kitchen, that was only separated by one wall and a giant hole through the door.

“I’m gonna go to bed, coming?” She asked getting up and strolling into the hallway. Jimmy yawned and followed her into his room.

 

:: Thats just copied and pasted from word so the formatting is a bit fucked... id change it but i really cant be bothered... that the whole story all the way upto part 4, ive finished upto part 5 but ill leave it unpublished incase i want to change stuff, seeing as all the important shit is happening... well, theres the first half, read it at your own risk, feel free to save it and read it later coz, thats a hell of alot of reading to do... as im aware of its about 17 or 18 pages... if i ever upload pictures on this site, itll be small illistrations to go with the stories. lol, ok, im done. bye.