Journals
Monday,May 30 2005, 03:15:13 AMi dunno
Im not sure why im making a new entry.. since they took out that little option, where it used to show you the new journals of your friends.. since they took that out no one visits me much now, but i understand, its harder to remember and now you dont have that little thing to remind you.. but oh well, whatever right?.. so today, has been kinda boring.. didnt do much of anything really.. went shopping for food.. and thats the highlight lol.. so sad.. but im putting on the happy face for the good of the day, how has everyone been?.. not that i hear back lol! anywho, seems things have been getting a bit quit around the community, i think others are moving on.. but thats about normal i think.. no one can stick with anything really.. so anycrap, nighty nightums :)
Saturday,May 28 2005, 01:47:47 AM.
Well how are you zorps doing? i notice not many people are visiting like that used too.. i must have scared them away lol.. oh well.. so anywho, i am sitting here, drinking a coke, and listening to my music.. and i notice my dez isnt online.. which isnt remotly like her at all.. so im a bit worried now.. i hope she is okay.. i bet she is asleep.. poor thing.. she stays up all night talking to me.. which is really my fault, for letting that go on so long.. she has to be up every morning at 5 am.. so if she is sleeping, im just not going to say a thing.. she needs some rest.. i feel bad for her in that sense.. she just wont give up though.. she is such a fighter in that sense.. if she wants to talk to me, well dammit she is going too.. but i like that as well :) well guess im going to get off zorp for a while.. my head is starting to hurt.. i dunno if thats from studying.. or the retarted chats in the community (how people will dwell on racism and things they cant change) well okay, nighty nightums.
Wednesday,May 25 2005, 07:36:10 PMANNI!
Happy anniversary to me!!! lol.. a year and 11 months.. next month will be our 2 year anni.. it makes me happy really, to be with the one you love for that long.. well.. it truly makes me happy.. i dont think i would ever want anything else.. and i have thought kinda hard about "what if we broke up" and i have to say.. i wouldnt be able to make it i dont think.. i thought about moving on.. but i couldnt move on.. as far as getting another girl.. well.. i have my girl.. after dez.. im done.. honestly.. thats it for me.. i will live alone.. with a dog as my best friend.. because honestly.. i just dont want another girl.. me and dez had a bit of a fall out last night.. but i think we are fine today.. its our anni, and our spirits have kinda been lifted.. because its so close to our 2 year.. and that makes me so happy.. to be with the one you love for that long.. well you cant help but smile.. it just.. i dunno.. i feel so fulfilled when i am with her.. i feel so happy when she is talking to me.. when she says i love you my heart still races..just like it did the first week of going out.. and i dunno.. it just really amazes me.. how after a year and 11 months.. i have never once been bored of her.. never been ready to leave her.. never even wanted to think about another girl to love.. because to me.. i just feel like im completed already.. i will never look for another girl.. or ever be unhappy with the one i have.. and i must say.. i never thought i would say those words.. i have never been sure of anything in my life really.. but with her.. well i am sure.. very sure.. and i love her.. with all my heart and beyond.. (i love you baby) over and out zorps, till we meet again (or a write another journal lol)
Monday,May 23 2005, 03:22:27 AMlife, living it!
Have you ever felt like you just cant help someone? like they are depressed.. and unhappy not because of what is taking place around them, but because they choose to be that way? well thats what i think i have fallen into.. i try to help her.. i try to make her happy.. and just when i think i have done that.. the next night.. BAM, i have been nothing but shit to her.. when i thought i was being nice.. and good.. i cant satisfy her.. i cant make her remotly happy.. not for more than a few hours.. then she says "ill find it elsewhere" and the it.. well thats sex.. and its not enough.. i am far far away.. i cant give as much as i want.. but i fear that when it is accessable.. and i give all i have.. love, passion, sex, happiness.. i fear it will all end up falling short.. and never be enough for her.. has anyone delbt with someone like this.. or this situation? if so.. tell me how you got through it.. if not.. you are lucky, stay that way..
Sunday,May 22 2005, 01:29:14 AMtoday
Well i have some of my pics ran through the photoshop editing.. so i will post them up in here.. for anyone that may want to take a look at them.. Well all in all today has been a normal day.. did a few things, rode the buell (fast 
) and now i talked to karen here from zorp.. nice to catch up with her a bit.. OH and i love desiree (like thats new news lol) but she is so sweet.. i notice i dont speak about her as much as i used too.. i dunno why, guess im scared to mention her, since she didnt like what i had to say when she read it earlier.. so i guess i just kinda stopped talking about her as much as i used too.. but i love her... just thought i would mention it lol, you are all tired of me talking about her.. but tough! so i guess i will get to work on posting these pics, most of them are high resolution, so if you want to set them as your background, right click, then say "Set as Background".. well okay, have a nice night zorps!
