Journals
Wednesday,Jul 19 2006, 05:00:13 AMBack To Hell
Well we are long distance again.. sucks bigtime.. so hard to cope when you were just holding the person you love.. and now you know you cant.. seems jealousy and all that gets in the way.. i only talked to her dez.. you were on the phone yourself before you hung up.. your still #1.. if you dont believe me still.. feel free to talk to brittany or chris about it.. 2 other people that were there.. if not.. well i guess the ball is in your court.. now that i have that depressing bullshit out, i can move onto the good stuff..
I am back from las vegas, im sad that i am back though, i really miss her.. sucks to not have what i want.. but im also happy i at least have her still.. as a g/f and not just broken up like many other couples end up doing.. guess things might get rocky.. but i dont give a crap what anyone says, i love dez with all my heart, and will continue doing so, as long as it beats in my chest, even if she herself dosent believe it.. i dont care.. because its a truth that i know.. a truth that i am sure of.. something i'll never question, nor need to question.. i know my love, even if you do not.. anywho.. i enjoyed my visit in vegas, the weather was hot as hell, but i was with my baby, so that more than made things okay.. she was so cute, just as i remembered her.. she seemed to have more on her mind.. but she also has more people in her life, wanting my place.. guess that puts some things to think about into the picture.. got rocky for a bit.. but i dont care.. the end is what i loved and hated.. i loved that we were happy and ok again, and that we were in love again, all perfect and happy :D but i hated that i had to leave.. i hate that plane ride home.. so long.. so boring.. so sad.. all i think about is her.. then i read her note.. it made me cry.. parts of it were very sweet.. makes me think.. will that be my last visit like many say? will that be it.. i sure hope not.. i really hope not.. but i guess i will not know.. only time will tell me.. anyway.. i love you dez.. hope to see you again on the 26th.. until then.. i hope you can be with me.. if not.. i hope you can find some kind of happiness in your life.. someone that can make you happier, a sweet girl or guy that will take care of you better, and be local :) i love you baby!
Friday,Jul 14 2006, 12:16:33 AM:)
Well, i dont have a large amount of time to type, just wanting to say that no, i am not dead, just having a great time with dez in vegas :D enjoy all! im back on the 17th!
