Here I am writing this again n it better not freggin crash....as I was saying I am severely pissed off now....
2 days ago my mom came home and shes been doing nothing but smoking and leaving the stench of cigarettes around the house allong with wet towels on the couch and she hardly ever gets dressed in anything else other than a bath robe. She came home because the Police droped the charges on her due to her condition...she has type 3 cancer...doesnt mean much to me right now because shes just been annoying me the whole time...when she was in the Shelter she was calling me on my cellphone 8 times a day and waking me up...and not just on the cellphone...she was calling like 20 times a day on the home phone. Things were so much better when she wasn't here...less stressy...all I had to do was switch off my cellphone but now that shes back all there has been is arguing between my 2 parents again...
yesterday I woke up late and my social worker was at my door...went down to see what was up...bad news, didnt get the Certificates I was hoping for after losing them at home somewhere...funny how a big brown envelope just disappears I was pretty pissed off when I came home and threw everything all over the floor trying to look for it which made my dad get pissed off...he shouted at me I shouted at him right back
"I cant believe it I JUST CLEANED UP THIS PLACE! I HATE COMING HOME TO THIS!"
"THEN GO BACK TO WORK!"
"ha-ha FUCK YOU!"
"FUCK YOU, YOU SAID YOU WOULD HELP ME FIND IT AND IT'S ALLREADY BEEN MORE THAN A FEW MONTHS!!!"
...I just stayed in my room and blared up the music and he went out and came back an hour later and wasn't too happy hehehe
"TURN DOWN THE FUCKING VOLUME!"
"No, first go try looking for it and then I'll turn down the volume!"
...he just got more pissed and I had to errrm...."move" the things out of the way of my door that I put there to keep my parents from coming in...after shouting at eachother for quite some time he said he'd try looking for it...
My dad wont do anything outside of work and shopping or cooking supper or watching tv or working in his workshop...so if I need help I have to push him for it otherwise he will never do it.
Anyways we tried looking n just found some paper that went with the Certificates in one of his folders...(kind of suspicious bout that being there and not everything else that went with it but anyways)...I just went to my room to chill out and he went to write an email to the IB saying we lost them and need a copy or something...all calmed down but yeah...talk about an anger climax...ever have a soar throat from shouting too much?
so yeah slowly n gradually I'm breaking down and I really really need to get out of here...I feel my parents are the only thing holding me back...Failing in school was a lot to do with my at home situation...it had like everything to do with it...couldn't do homework because either parents would be fighting all the time or I needed help with it and my dad was always taking too long...my mom cant help me with anything I allready know more than she does with what I want to do....all the comments on my report card from the teachers...they all said "Mark isnt handing in homework on time" or "hardly ever does his homework" ...you can imagine what the exams were like

I unno what the fuck I'm doin....guess you could say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed....why the hell am I even writing a journal thing??? I woke up with a "hang-over" ....no I didnt drink any alcohol, my head and arms were hanging over the bed and I lost my pillow....so ticked off cuz of my pillow! then again I shouldn't be sleeping at the foot of the bed. And then my cat ughh....hoging half of my bed! lol...I need to listen to some music...indeed. Velvet Acid Christ, 4LYN or Emil Bulls...cyall later...