Zohra's Transsexual Transsylvani
Journals
This is the woman inside, brought to the outside!!!As the regular visitors of my page know, i am a PRE-op transsexual, still going through transition. I am a woman at heart, born in the body of a man. Without makeup i look somehow feminine, but i need to wear makeup to look more like a woman. Some people ask me why i wear makeup to cover my face, but if you are not transsexual you will never understand this. It's not a matter of feeling ashamed of your face, its bringing your TRUE FACE OUTSIDE!!! Inside this body, that was meant to be MAN, i feel a woman soul. I need to bring this soul to the surface in the looks of a woman! At the moment i live as a woman almost everyday and i applied for sexe change surgery at my logal gender clinic, however, i dont look like this when i wake up in the morning. Don't expect a diva when i wake up next to you in your bed, i need to make a big effort to look like this, to look like the woman i feel i am inside.This means i have to shave my face, cuz i was originally born male ofcourse and i didnt have any money to get rid of my facial hair through lasertreatment. In a while i will start taking hormones wich will reduca my bodyhair a bit and also i need to shave less then i have to do now, but... it doesnt remove the facial hair totally, it only reduces it and softens is. Its hard to be transsexual. Men see us as sexual fetishes only, not as women who want to be loved and feel safe in the arms of a man. The worst of all is that they want just the 'end product', not the person i am now who is fighting herself to the end of the process of becoming a woman! They dont want to see a man in the morning who applies makeup to become a woman, this saddens me sometimes.I am a very sensitive soul and my great wish is to find me a man who loves me for who i am and not for what i am, not one of those terrible men who are searching the internet to find one tranny after another or who hop from ass to ass! i need a genuine love and for years i am searching the internet to find myself a sweet and nice man with his heart at the good spot, to love me so deeply and to forfill my girlsdreams! This sounds like a desperate attempt to find me a man, well, i am almost 36 now and never i found a man who wanted more from me then just some hot moment, most of them are still afraid to be stigmatised as homosexual if they will start a relationship with a transsexual or transgendered woman... who the fuck cares??? What is the problem... transsexuals suffer a great deal and are very proud to be the women they are, why arent there any guys who have the same guts as we do? Why are they all sissies? Why isnt there any guy who dares to stand up for 'us' openly and who feels no shame to be 'friends' or 'lover' of a transsexual woman???Anyway, i am going too far now, i just wanted to inform the visitors of my page that the way you see me now, is not the way i wake up in the morning... i AM feminine yes, in all ways, and i have a female voice, but beware, i still need to shave myself and i need to apply a lot of makeup to look like a woman. Well i look feminine already by nature, but somehow 'androgenous'. I wear makeup to accent my female parts and to protect myself on the streets also, because if i dont wear any makeup people will see me as something strange that looks like between male and female.. and i wanna look like female only!!!Hope you will all understand my story better now!Love,ZohraP.S.: For my dutch visitors who wanna know more about me, go to www.zohratranssexueel.com to read more about me and the person i am!!!
