Tuesday,Oct 24 2006, 07:15:09 PMjust sharing my sick thoughts.....

I used to bother my mind from questions why relationships sometimes won't work no matter how willing the lovers are to try to work things out. I used to ask myself why some people's happiness is another person's loneliness.

"I have been in love for so many times" that was what I would always tell myself, not until I felt something so strong, to drown me from where I am right now. Then that's the only time I realized, I was never in love before, I was just infatuated, the real feeling, the real thing happened only lately, to the person I am not expecting my heart would beat for.

Everything seem so perfect for us (if there's really such thing as perfect..?.. Everything seem so right and I felt so contented that I really wanna end up with him. Then ironies of life came... We cannot be together forever... Family, culture, religion... that's his reasons and that's what he believes in... he never believe in mushy things, in the love conquers all thing... Why would start it anyway if he already knows these things existed. And my only reason why the relationship fell apart? There's no willingness from him, so how can we make things possible?

I live my life the way I want to. I live by the principles I know that are right for me. I don't want to put my happiness at stake if I know I can do something with the situation. I have my family now but I know sooner or later I'll be building my own. I guess my family love me enough to support me with the things that will really make me happy. I won't do things just to please my family then put myself and another person's happiness as an expense.

It's hard to fall for someone who cannot stand for you, someone who cannot keep his words. And the hardest thing is you've already closed your doors to others because of this someone...

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Wednesday,Sep 27 2006, 03:50:18 PMmy dream, his game....

i used to believe that hate can brush love away no matter how great the love is but then i came to realized it doesn't apply in all situations. it's been 5 months since the last time i saw the person who made me believe in fighting for what i want, for what makes me happy because in a blink of an eye he left me alone fighting, believing and standing on the same ground... i cannot say i was fooled nor was taken seriously, i was so sure about the feeling, i was so sure that he was there but without the proper words of goodbyes, without the so-called ...

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Thursday,Sep 7 2006, 03:46:34 PMGIVE IT TIME

I cannot remeber the exact line but somebody once told me: ONE WILL GO, TEN WILL COME. At first I didn't get what he was trying to say until he himself proved and explained to me in his own way... You really can never hold on to someone & to something forever, some are really just passing by to teach us and to be a part of the experience... Sometimes we really have to be alone to know who's with us. Sometimes we have to shut up to know who's really listening. Sometimes we have to be tough to know who's sensitive to what we really feel inside. Sometimes ...

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