Wednesday,May 9 2007, 02:18:56 AMWhat's the diff. btw stress, tension and panic?

What's the diff. btw stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant, :X-:

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, :shocked: and

Panic is when both are pregnant. :confused_smile:

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Friday,Jun 16 2006, 03:42:22 AMThe Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift

GO Watch it while its still hott (2 thumbs up!!!)

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Tuesday,May 10 2005, 04:04:10 AMjokes!!

Why I Fired My Secretary
------------------------

As I walked into my office, my pretty secretary, Janet,
said, "Good morning boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a
little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.

Then, Janet knocked on my door and said "You know, it's such
a beautiful day outside and it's  your birthday let's go to
lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the
greatest thing I've  heard all day. Let's go." We went
lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the
country to a little private place. We had two martinis and
enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office,
she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't
need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess
not.". She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you
don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into
something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she
came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife,
children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy
Birthday.

And there I sat........ on the couch.......... naked.

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Saturday,Apr 30 2005, 03:14:48 AMJOKES:) During a good manners and etiquette...

JOKES:)

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students : "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?" Mike replies "Wait a minute, I'm going for a p." The teacher says : "That would be very rude and improper on your part." Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute." The teacher says : "That's much better but to mention the word ''toilet'' during a meal, is npleasant." And Billy says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner. " The teacher passed out..

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Wednesday,Mar 30 2005, 11:14:45 AM1)oPpInIoNS ArE LiKe aSsHolE............... E

1)oPpInIoNS ArE LiKe aSsHolE...............
EvErYoNe Has onE....

2)dO nOt AsSuMe.........
CoZ WhEn YoU 'aSsUMe' yOu pUt AN 'aSs' OuT
Of 'U' aNd 'Me'

JOKES:

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling
life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat
in her rocking chair watching the world go by with
her cat Alan. One afternoon, out of nowhere,
appeared her Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you
doing here after all these years?" The Fairy
Godmother replied, "Well Cinderella, since
you have lived a good wholesome life since we last
met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is
there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was overjoyed. "I wish I was extremely
wealthy", she said.
Instantly, her rocking chair turned into solid gold.
Alan, her cat, jumped off her lap and ran to the
edge of the porch quivering with fear.
"Oh thank you Fairy Godmother," said
Cinderella. "Is there anything else you might wish
for", asked the Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and
said, "I wish I was young and full of the beauty I
once had." At once, her wish was granted.
Cinderella felt feelings inside her that she had not
felt for years.

The Fairy Godmother said, "You have one wish
remaining, what shall you have? "Cinderella looked
at her frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish
you turn Alan, my old cat, into a handsome young
man."
Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and
then before them stood young man with the looks
and body that no other man could match. The
Fairy Godmother again spoke "Congratulations
Cinderella. Enjoy your new life," and with that she
was gone.

For a few eerie moments, Cinderella and Alan
looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat
breathless, gazing at the most stunning, perfect
man she had ever seen.Then Alan walked over
to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular
arms. He leant in close to her ear and whispered in
a warm breath.......
"Bet you now regret having my balls chopped off,
don't you?"

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