gusto q lng poh ishare sa mga zorpian's readers ang nararamdaman q and since open nmn toh sa lahat ng friends q magcomment na lng kau,,, kau na rin bahala na mag critique,,, hehehehe,, have fun reading,,,

meron taong nagpapaconfuse sakin ngaun, and this person, we really have a special relationship,, no no, hindi poh ung iinisip nyo,, hes not my boyfriend, la kaming mutual understanding, lalong di q xa crush or sumting,, i treat him as a friend and so as he to me,,, sabi q lng un, feeling q lng ganun treatment nya skin eh,, we really had fun when we talk on da fone and kpag ngcchat kmi,, to da point na kapag nakisali ka bka maOP ka pa sa usapan nmin,, na kapag nakisali ka pa eh bka maoffend ka pa kc di mo lng magegets ung lalim ng understanding nmin,, uu nga, may kakaiba kming understanding but hindi tlg mata2wag na mutual understanding,, kya nasabi q na di kmi MU,,, nag-aasaran kmi, hay naku! a lot tlg,, kso di xa napi2kon kya i try not to kc kpag napikon ka kaw lng tlg talo sa kanya,,,, sweet xa madalas sakin na parang bf q xa, but then maya-maya nyan nagtatalo na kami,, di na xa mamamansin at di na rin aq mamamansin,,, pero di nmn nmin matitiis ung isat-isa,, back to square agen, mag-aasaran nnmn kmi,,

sus,,, happy na q sa ganun,, i really had fun nmn tlg, lalo na kapag naaasar q na xa,,ewan q lng sa kanya kung ano feeling nya,,

but then, ayan confused na q,,, wala lang, bigla na lng ngcome up sa mind q na itanong q sa kanya toh,,”ano ba tlg aq sau?” bang! bigla xang natahimik……….. ttttuuuuuuuttt,,, parang tv,,, ewan q ba dun, ang simple lng nmn ng tanong q pro di nya masagot agad? bkit kelangan nya pang pag-isipan ng matagal,,, maya-maya, sbi nya ”special”,, ano un? special?????? un lng tlg ang sagot na iniwan nya sakin.. kaasar sna iexplain nya skin ng maayos di bah? panong special? di man lng nya inellaborate ng mabuti pra nmn mgkaintindihan kmi,, hayyyy! naku! lakas tlg nya mambitin oh! fine special ka jan, di na q nagtanong ng kung ano pa kc nsa gitna xa ng feeling badtrip tsaka stressed,, bka kung ano pa ang isagot skin nun kpg ngpumulit pa kong mgtanong,, hayyy,, leaving me clueless about dat word,,”special”..

one time sabi q sa kanya tigilan nya na pagiging sweet sakin,,, ngek! bigla ba nmn ngalit sakin!!!!!!! hay naku! tinanong q xa kung bkit pro sbi nya lng wala lang daw,, he just feel stupid,,, haaaayyyy… tapos aun, din a namansin, iniwan na q tsaka binitin nnmn aq,, kabadtrip kaya xa,,, fine, iniwan q na lng din muna xa,,, mahirap nmn mkipg-usap sa taong maiinit ang ulo di bah? hehehe,, bka mgtalo lng kmi lalo,,,

nood daw xa cne ng mg-isa lng kc daw di nya q maaya kc he cant reach our landline,,, he’s bin trying to reach nga kso sbi dawn g operator “service not available” eh hello? kung walang ngte2lebabad dito smin eh minuminuto kya ngri2ng ung landline nmin sa dami ng callers ng mom q,,,pro bkit ganun sbi ng operator? hmmmm? bkit kaya? ayaw lng cguro kmi pag-usapin ng tadhana,, nhakz! tadhana daw oh! hehehehehe,,,,

ang dami q ng kwento about him pro di q pa naiexplain kung bkit aq confused… honestly, confused aq sa feeling q sa kanya, tsaka sa feeling nya sakin,, ewan q bah! sbi nga ng friend q, im falling for him na daw,,, wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!! eh feeling q lng nmn nglalaro lng kmi eh, it seems that were just enjoying each others company,,, un lng,, wala naman masama dun di bah? parang nasanay lang aq na nanjan xa ang when I nid sum1 hu can make me fly and bring me outside the earth, far, far away frm this stupid world, anjan xa at nagpapakasuperman para sakin,,,

clark kaw ba yan? minsan parang c the flash xa na mabilis iclear ang mind q from all my worries,,, he makes me sing..” i cant smile w/o u, no i cant smile w/o u, i cant smile, i cant smile,,,lalalala” khit badtrip aq, napapangiti nya pa rin aq,,, hayyyy,,, ewan q, confused na talaga aq,,,

ewan tlg,, a friend told me, “icy, why don’t u give it a try?” wwwwwhhhhaaaattt? ok lng ba xa? anong ittry q? hay naku, if il try to give a hint can this make my confusions gone with da wind? hekhek,, den i told my friend na lng,,”bahala na” I don’t want to risk the friendship, that precious thing that we have if I try to go deeper than what we already have…

what if he might not feel the same way,,,khit pa cnabi nya skin na “special” aq for him,, what if he is just fond of me coz la xang sister? na puro bro lng meron xa? or just becoz he just miss his cozn na gurl na sobrang close nya kc she flew to states na? what if? what if? what if? haaaayyyyyy.. mahirap…bka aq na ngaun ang magsabi na “i just feel stupid”????????

i remember, sabi nya sakin “ang galling mo talaga, galing! but at the same time takot ka nmn”,,, naman! ano nnmn toh? so tinanong q xa,,”ano..ano nmn un?” den he told he “wala”, ayun, wala nnmn daw!!!! kainis na xa ha…but then few days after nya sabihin un, inexplain nya nmn skin, sabi nya,,galing q daw kc umiwas kung alam q na may patutunguhan ung mga pag-uusapan nmin,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hay!!!! ano nmn? eh ayaw q lng talagang may mapuntahan pa kc bka dumating ung pa kami sa point na magkaiwasan just bcoz tnry q na sakyan ang seryosong usapan na un……

ang drama q noh? but, i just realized,,, ngaun lng,,,hehehehe,,maybe its my fault,,maybe i was just afraid,,,maybe,,, takot lng aq harapin kung ano man ang magiging kalabasan if we cross that boundary, that borderline between friendship and love,,, u cant blame me, pano kung aq lang pala ang nakakaramdam,,ayaw nya nmn mag-explain kung ano na ba tlg aq sa kanya,, pano kung special.(period) lang pala aq? pano kung hanggang sa period lang? haaaayyyy,,,

sabi ni nina, love moves in a mysterious way daw,,,, totoo ba un nina? sus! pero etoh, san ka pah?ung horoscope q tsaka ung nakakatawang lover’s test nayan na nasa profile ng friend q,,,di q lam kung maniniwala aq pro dun sa lovers test na un 100 ang score nmin,,,wahahahaha,,perfect daw, no need to test our love,,,hehehehe,,ngek! at the same time binasa q ung horoscope q, actually nakalimutan q n ung pinakahoroscope eh, ung thought na lng ung naalala q,,,sabi dun parang i have to make a decision na daw, big decision about our relationship,, haaayyy,, ung friend q na kchat q, nsabi nya n lng, na i shld give it a try nga,,,ewan,,love moves in mysterious way nga ba tlg?

mejo mahaba na ang nashare q pro di pa talaga clear sakin ang nararamdaman q,, ang daming wat if eh…pero isa lang alam q sa ngaun i don’t want to spoil that thing that we have ryt now,,, i just want to enjoy and cherish every moment,,,for the meantime,,, hu knows di bah? hu knows kung ano ung pwedeng mangyari,,,bahala na,,,actually di q nga lam kung ano ang pwedeng ititle q d2 sa post q, di aq makaisip ng magandang title eh,,, il stop here na,,,

so guys, feel free to comment na lang ha,,, it would be highly appreciated,,,, thanks for reading my journal!!!! whew!