Journals
Saturday,Oct 4 2008, 09:14:01 PMReALiTy CheCk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of the mornings after
another sleepless
night that I cannot help not asking myself, why
didn't
I have a good night sleep again? Then I would
just
joke myself and answer it with, maybe
someone's
been
thinking of me all night... hahaha!
Jokes are always half-meant, a friend said
once.
And
maybe... just maybe, behind that joke, there's
this
wishful thinking that someone has really been
thinking of me. Then the memory of someone
from
the
past would, again, bounce in my head... disturb
my
sanity and make my day half-miserable.
What if he's thinking about me? What if he still
loves me? It's just another imagination, I know.
Another day of what if's and maybe's.
For the nth time, I've told myself that when it's
over, it's really over! There's no sense turning
back or even trying to pick up the pieces again.
It's time to move on and face the reality!
When it's over, is it really over?
When you decide to let go, do you really
succeed
in
letting go?
I just heard the latest song of Sugar Ray a while
ago. Here's the few lines that caught my
attention:
When it's over, That's the time I fall in love
again...
When it's over, That's the time you're in my
heart
again...
How can you possibly say it's over when you're
still
in love with the person you said you were over
with
already? I guess it's not that easy when the
chain
of the past locks you in the chest of false
hopes
and leads you to a place called fantasy with
Cinderella and Snow white as your best
friends!
The
three of you would gather on the hilltop and
after a
while three young drop-dead gorgeous princes
would
come riding on their horses to join the picnic
under
a three.
How pathetic! But, admit it or not, it's true...
The hardest part of losing a loved one is to
accept
the fact that they're gone and might never
come
back
again. There are things that will always remind
you
of your togetherness... the places you've been,
his
or her favorite food you used to cook for him or
her, expressions you used to hear from him or
her
and songs you've both loved to sing.
These are the memories that'd linger on your
mind
from time to time. Because you were both in
love
before (or so you think), it makes you hope for
another chance.
You begin to believe on what others said that
love
is lovelier the second time around and the line
from
Ally McBeal, "whoever said that 'plenty of fish in
the sea' thing is lying. Sometimes, there's only
one... trust me."
We would desperately believe that what
happens
in
the movies might also happen to us one day.
Who didn't like the lines from the
movie "Runaway
Bride" where Julia Roberts told Richard Gere, "I
guarantee that we'll have tough time; I
guarantee
that in some point, one of us would want to get
out;
I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be
mine,
I'll regret this for the rest of my life, 'coz I
know in my heart... you're the only one for me."
We tend to think that the person who left us will
come back one day and say those words, or
just
simple words but would promise forever.
Problems may
occur every now and then, but we would
consider
those things as trials to be conquered in order
for
the relationship to bloom and mature.
Oouucchh! Reality just bit me!
More often than not, these romantic movies
and
mushy
love songs only make us long for something we
cannot
have... and for someone who cannot be ours
again. It
hurts to admit that we are just pretending. All the
while, we already knew the truth but we ignore
it.
When the damage is done, there's nothing left
to
do
but cry... to mourn for the bitterness in our
hearts. Then curse anybody who gets in the
way.
I'm scared!!!
As long as we still hold on to the past, the
chance
of meeting someone new may be a bit far off
the
field.
The fear of trusting and falling in love again may
also hinder us to grow and move on. We are
hesitant
to take the risk, afraid that we may get hurt
again.
Because of the negative thoughts stocked in
our
brains, we refuse to go out from our self-made
world
and deprive ourselves from new opportunities,
whether in love affairs or career wise.
Let's face it! Betrayal can be anywhere and
anyone
can be a victim. The worst part is when the one
we
truly, madly and deeply love is the one who will
betray us in the end. Then we are left with
nothing
but a broken heart and wounded pride. Sad...
but
true.
Reality check please...
It can happen to anyone but we shouldn't just
take
things as it comes. An action must be done. We
should take care of ourselves from the hungry
wolves
in the jungle. It's just a matter of survival. Stand
up when you fall.
It's okay to cry as hard and as long as you
want to,
just make sure that when you stop crying, you
won't
cry for the same reason anymore. Learn and
live.
Love is the most wonderful thing one can offer,
so
be smart enough to give the love in your heart
to
the one who really deserves it.
Saturday,Oct 4 2008, 08:51:20 PMthat's life!!!
omg! what a day... so damn tired of the relationship..... no where to run no where to hide..... no one to talk to....i can't say that its fair to continue what's there for there's no reason fighting for for I can't stand the situation anymore.... I have no choice but to let go even though it hurts..... in the law of averages i might have that karma.... but i have to set it free.... can't live in a life full of pretentions.. i really have to find the right one for me that could stand the test of time.... so many hearts that have been broken , even realtionships have been broken and yet life is so unfair .... couldn't even have the freedom to say im starting to love someone though its so damn different... well god knows i hope i can find the freedom to do so..... wtf!!!!!!! why do i have to be in this situation!!!!! huhuhuhuhuhuhu
