hi isaw your profile shallwe be friends?

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 50th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah?" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

HUMOROUS SEX
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

ELDERLY SEX
One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor 'assisted living apartment' killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honour. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex... he could fly."

:P

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
lol

room...mangalapora page anallo...

will kill u!

Happy new year!

...........{_}
......... /......\\............_/\_
........ /........\\.........*>,“<
....... /_____\\\......*silent night,
.... {`______`}\\....* , + * star above,
....././..o....o..\\\\\........_/\_
...(....(__O__)...)\\.......>,”<
...{.........u....`-“}\\\..+ *.*.+.*.+ blessed gifts
... {..................}\.....*,+*.._/\_ * + . of hope
.... /{..............}\\.........*,..>,”< + * *+and love,
... /....“............“...\\...*........*
.. /_/......`“`.....\\\\_\\..* + ., * * , +*
..{__}##{ ]##{__}\
..(_/\\\\\\\|\\\\\_/\\_)\..Have a Joyous Christmas Season!
.......|___|___|\\........+ * , . ** , . * +
...........|--|--|\\\.......+,*+..*
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¤°.¸¸.•´¯`**'¤°.¸¸.•´¯`*¤°