ashburn1402's Homepage

ashburn1402's Homepage http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402 Wed, 06 Jan 2010 07:11 EST Wed, 06 Jan 2010 07:11 EST Zorpia.com -=[Initial hatred]=- http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1182573 Good Morning to this world.. Feeling fucked up and losing myself soon.. feeling cramped up in a lifestyle unlike of that i want.. feeling dejected.. lost and feelin filled with hatred... what has one gotta do to gain respect from family and friends? what does respect means? what does love stands for? who am i to be allowed existance in this world?? im confused and i just need to scream myself out!! tell me.. what kind of person is 'perfect' what kind of human can stand perfection and live a life of happiness and sence of fulfillness in total? because i can't!! sigh.. who can i turn to release this pent up anger, fustration, hatred... Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1182573 Sun, 29 May 2005 03:29 EST :::Initial Walk!!::: http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1171200 Can't believe i actually woke up like so darn earli just to walk 10 km!! whoh hoh!! lol!! its was great fun!! loads of people plus funny character. lol!! got 1 "mummy" got heat stroke, wonder wad on earth he was thinking wrapping up like that. hmmm.. just came back from morning bowl competition. *SOB!!* came in like 51 outta 72. Only shows i suck at bowling.. :p anyway, im like dead beat now.. wondering what new stuff is install for me tml.. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1171200 Mon, 23 May 2005 11:24 EST -=[initially....i wanna kill]=- http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1159254 This is a fu*ked up day!! i just got my incredibly incredible super-duper, believe to be THE phone for me, my one and only MPX200 for a mere $100 bucks and just when i thought i've hitted the jack pot! i got PUNKED! B*tcH!! i mean, cant you get your own and stop taking mine!? it's like mine mine mine mine and all mine!! cuss u b*tches out thee who even thinking of taking what's not urs! not happy with what your're reading? then dont! i'll spell out for you in ye face!! freaking-goddamn-muthaf*cker!! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1159254 Sun, 15 May 2005 10:17 EST -=[Initial Breakdown..]=- http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1154382 Dear god...<pre>I'm tired of being what you want me to be Feeling so faithless lost under the surface Don't know what you're expecting of me Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes Every step that I take is another mistake to you I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you Can't you see that you're smothering me Holding too tightly afraid to lose control Cause everything that you thought I would be Has fallen apart right in front of you Every step that I take is another mistake to you And every second I waste is more than I can take I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you And I know I may end up failing too But I know You were just like me With someone disappointed in you I've become so numb I can't feel you there I've become so tired so much more aware I'm becoming this all I want to do Is be more like me and be less like you </pre><pre>Yours truely Desmond <img src="../smi/47.gif" border="0" /></pre> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1154382 Wed, 11 May 2005 06:36 EST -=[Initial complains...]=- http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1152135 Sigh.. another useless day has passed by, unproductive by nature, obsolete by living in it.. kinda getting bored of this useless camp of mine. stuck at de same sh**hole for more than a year doing the same ol' stuff again and again.. why does singapore have to waste so much tax payers money by recruiting nsf to do nothing but sit around and smoke? i mean povety is still so high in singapore. Seems strange to use the word high doesnt it? but truely, look around us, we are all living in debts.. HDB loans, car loans, credit cards, phone bills, insurance i mean de list can just go on!! Hmm.. sounds like i'm getting quite political.. well, it's true that that's the way it has been, so if your're smart, kindly move outta singapore ya? :) Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1152135 Mon, 09 May 2005 09:07 EST -=[Initial return]=- http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1150873 Whoh hoh!! im finally back to blogg!! how long has it been huh? erm.. 4 5 months?/ well, loads of stuff has happened!! Xmas party, quarrels, gatherings, business, vacations.. you name it!! haha!! anyway, decided to use this damn cool-blue dodge viper skin, cause it looks nice and radical!! gotten myself a camera so decided to upload a couple of pics in too!! but darn! its all like kinda big, in like 1mb per pic!! haha!! guess used too high a quality too!! god i missed you people msging me! hmm.. esp you tracy!! haha!! this one is right back at ya!! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/1150873 Sun, 08 May 2005 11:00 EST -=[InItiAlly...thEre was nOne..]=- "respect... http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/866580 -=[InItiAlly...thEre was nOne..]=- "respect is earned, not forced. Love is being honest, not pretty lies and flashy moves" "Ash, 121204, 2256H" yeah!! i finally got myself enrolled in de yamaha vocal class@!! woppie!! wonder wad is install in de package, hmmm.. relatively cheap though! good bargin!! hmm.. wad did i do today?? slept in de whole day while i dream of singing on de idol stage.. lol!! its been a rather fruitful day, love de fact that i have done some really wonderful stuff!! hmmm... im in a pretty bad fix. dunno wad to do on Xmas nite! haha!! help help!! >_<!!! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/866580 Sun, 12 Dec 2004 09:07 EST -=[InitIally...]=- "initially, life was good, http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/850119 -=[InitIally...]=- "initially, life was good, kind and gracious... however with the turn of tides.. it was not to be.." Ashburn, 2344H 081204 Sigh... been tat fast?? i mean, im already 21 and im still here and stuck at de same place.. or rather, life has been rather slow though.. same old camp.. same old friends, but they are all either attached or happily with their work and even some are head hunted. where do i stand? on the side of the pavement.. look them move on as im stuck in this god-forsakken camp.. LCKC2 good food, good friends, good sex(outside camp that is), all seemed too good to make it sound bad right? but its not.. kinda ironic though, but in school, i didnt wanna study; just barely scraped thru, but now? i hunger for them, for more friends, more exposure, more plans and ultimately, more life! ENUGH OF THIS SHIT!!! haha!! just passed my theory test and im like head over heels, no more illegal driving!! im now driving!! with a L plate though.. HAHAH!! hey!! dun laff!!! now i can drive legally at least k?!! >_<!! gone were the old nissan sunnies!! now come de honda civic, think is 97 ones. <-- sucky stuff.. well, going clubbing i gueess this saturday, hmmm.. wonder wad storm will i kick up this time. time to get a camera!! dunno when can afford one.. all money lost on driving and other "misc" expenses. Lol!!! well.. gotta turn in.. god knows when i'll post another journal again.. haha. but until next time, stay alive!!! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/850119 Wed, 08 Dec 2004 09:54 EST -=:Initial Movement:=- Cant stand it!! *hIc*... http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/676031 -=:Initial Movement:=- Cant stand it!! *hIc* been burping since just now evening.. haha.. went to hougang mall to slack.. walking *hIc* around like nobody's business. hehe.. any cure for my hiccups?? *hic* HelP!!! *hiC*HiC*hIc* O_O!!! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/676031 Mon, 25 Oct 2004 09:07 EST -=:Initial Move:=- been donkey years since i... http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/672638 -=:Initial Move:=- been donkey years since i last popped back online, was rather busy having to move my house.. yeah! and yesh peeps! its official now. Im now in my new house. but de thing abt new place is quite obvious.. irrated. new people, neighbour. lol! Not complaining just whinning. Lol... Now having to tidy up my new room..in a complete mess!! now having to live with my partically neat room. But dun really like the idea of my  super cramp working space.. hmm... wires everywhere.. Yesterday nite was a hell, having to go around singapore snapping pictures and stuff.. hmm.. tatz for now! ta-ta! =) Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/672638 Sun, 24 Oct 2004 02:26 EST ::: Hey peeps!! haha.. finally possible to... http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/618058 ::: Hey peeps!! haha.. finally possible to post my journal back le ~!!::: Life's been so incredible to me, new friends, new place, new room, oh did i mention a new room? well!! just moved to my new home over at 107 bukit panjang. Incredible! Basketball courts, malls, not to talk abt new neighbours.. hmm.. maybe should make full use of <A href="http://www.wholivesnearyou.com">www.wholivesnearyou.com</A> . haha!! well.. nothing much to post up since im just too busy in camp doing my routine work. Hopefully when i move over to my new place, would be able to touch up on my website. hehe... looks very plain. gonna seek experts le! ~!! Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/618058 Thu, 30 Sep 2004 22:52 EST :::wHohHHhhHH. ~!!!!!! dAMnN hIGH tONIGht ~!! http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/367491 :::wHohHHhhHH. ~!!!!!! dAMnN hIGH tONIGht ~!! haha ~!!!::: bEen lIke SiNGing e WhoLE niTe aT a LouNge aNd thEy aRe LikE wANtinG mOre! fElT liKe A sTar thOuGh.. hehe.. didnt kNow thaT mY voIce wAs tHat gOod! ~! =p HmmmMm.. tHouGh nOt aBLe To jOiN SINGAPORE IDOL ~!!!! bUt wIlL waIt For nExT tRy out.. NExT yeAr, hehe ~! oH ~! mEeT 2 NeW lAdIes lAsT nIte, aCtuAlLy nOt mEt, inTroDuCE mySeLf To mY bRo's FrIenDz, vErY oUt GoInG vErY hOT ~!! haha.. bUt sTilL pReFeR thIs One CaLleD sKyE, haha.. vERY cUte aNd dUnNo whY, jUz FeLt cOmfORTablE wiTh HeR..hAha.. wOnDer iF sHe's AtTAcHed oR noT *bLeaH* dAMn bItCH ~!! iM iN lOVe! ^^ Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/367491 Sun, 13 Jun 2004 10:29 EST tHEre ~! aLlz niCely Done up and STuFf.bEtTer http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/348035 tHEre ~! aLlz niCely Done up and STuFf.bEtTer wAlLpaPer HuH?. now iN a rm... ColD daRk and lOnely... jUz dE coM and mYseLf... toDaY itZ another day that have passed.. knowing that have grown a bit wiser.. but still de past haunts me... mistakes that i have made.. people i have let down... WADEVER!!! lOl ~!! toDayz de WakEup day for soMe thing inTerestin happenEd during one of my ExErciSe. oBeY de RuL3s of da gaMe, buT wheN ruLez get toO sTriCt, BREAK THEM! itz like, somehow when you believe someone truthfully, and try to commit one into perfection, seemed that tendency of tht sOmeone tUrning AgaInst you ItZ damn hIHG, toOk me A wHilE to ReAliSe waD a hYpoCriTe hE iZ.. rEally RegReT.. mY cuRrEnt? well.. sHe juz Seems tat de WorLD itz hers for thE tAkIng.. haha.. SImPLy uNSTOpPAblE. nICE AtTiTudE ~! buT juz seem that verY bOring.... heehee.. sOmehOW im StiLL not gIvin up on her... JUZ soMEthing aBt her.. kinda rEmIndz me oF "something Abt mAry" lol ~!! noW hAving mY couSinZ crYiN and ScrEamIn at My PLACE ~!! URGH ~!! dRIvin me NuTZ ~!!! haiZ.. gOTta go ComfORt him aGaIn... (-_-") Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/348035 Mon, 07 Jun 2004 07:47 EST Dear friend, [IMAGE] Please spend 1 minute... http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/342446 Dear friend, <IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emsmiled.gif" width=12> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>Please spend 1 minute to read this, it's very meaningful.   When the bus come, you look at it and you said to yourself, "eeee<IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emsad.gif" width=12>... so full...cannot sit down one". So you said to yourself, "I'll wait for the next one." so you let the bus go and waited for the second bus. </DIV> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>Then the second bus came, you looked at it and you said, "eeee<IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emsad.gif" width=12>...this bus so old...surely very uncomfortable one." So you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.   After a while, another bus came. It's not crowded and not old but you said, "eeee<IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emsad.gif" width=12>... no air-con one...and the weather is so warm, better wait for the next one." So again you let the bus go and decided to wait for the next bus.</DIV> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>Then the sky started to get dark as it is getting late.   You panicked and jump on to the next on coming bus. It is not until much later that you found out that you had boarded on to the wrong bus! So you wasted your time and money waiting for what you want!   Even if an aircon bus came, can you ensure that the aircon bus won't break down or will the aircon be too cold for you? </DIV> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>So people...(mostly girls<IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emfemale.gif" width=12> but guys <IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emmale.gif" width=12>too!) want to make sure that what you want is not wrong. But it wouldn't hurt to give other people a chance, right?  If you found that the "bus" doesn't suit, you just press the red button and get off the bus!   But wait...I am sure all of you have this experienced before. You saw a bus is coming (the bus you want of course) you flagged it and the driver acted blur by pretending not seeing you and zoomed pass you! <IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emcrook.gif" width=12>   The bottom line of being loved is like waiting for a bus and whether you want to get on the bus and give the bus a chance depends totally on you and walking alone is just like being out of love.   If you love<IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emlove.gif" width=12> someone set him/her free. If he/she comes back to you, you know they're yours. If they don't then it was never meant to be.</DIV> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>Remember to always say what you mean. If you love<IMG height=12 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emlove.gif" width=12> someone, tell<IMG height=16 src="http://graphics.hotmail.com/emexclaim.gif" width=16>. Don't be afraid to express yourself.   Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. </DIV> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>Seize the day.   Never have regrets. </DIV> <DIV align=center> </DIV> <DIV align=center>And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today.   Pass this along to your friends. It could make a difference.   The difference between doing all that you can or having regrets which may stay with you forever.   Friendship is never an accident. It is always the result of high intentions, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution. It represents the wise choice of many alternatives.   And remember.... Keep Smiling....coz... "Of All Things You Wear, Your Smile Is As love returns to me, As I return to you, As love returns to us.   I guess this is really wondeful and make a lot of sense. </DIV> Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/342446 Sat, 05 Jun 2004 06:11 EST bitch.. such a lousy day... now talking to... http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/340418 bitch.. such a lousy day... now talking to my ex.. complaining abt being broke.. haha, still owe her money though, but de stuff i bought for her.. hmmm.. think can cover up lah.. LOL.. Worse still... my current girl is such a bore.. cant stand her.. dunno if she's happy or sad.. i mean, come to think of it, would u choose a nice hot meal your partner bought for you or some packed economic rice since lunch some other guys bought.. ? either she's in love with that guy if not im not her cup of tee.. bitch ~! dun understand women... saying one thing and meaning another.. just dun understand.. how could they switch hearts so fast.. and so insincere... haiz.. please tell me.... Personal http://www.zorpia.com/ashburn1402/journal/340418 Fri, 04 Jun 2004 10:38 EST