belleous's Homepage

continuation

Tue, 29 Dec 2009 07:04 EST

Over the next several months, whenever I reached a turning point in the progression of the disease, a new obstacle, someone suddenly appeared with a solution. Every time I was confronted by a new hurdle, someone became hurdler. God does indeed work in mysterious ways sometimes. The more I think about it, though, the more ways don’t seem so mysterious because they have been so consistent, Shortly after a problem pops up, a person or a group of them with an answer will, too. My physical deterioration was extremely difficult for me because of the new limitations it imposed almost weekly. I had been riding my bicycle to the university for almost twenty years. It was devastating to me when I had to give it up. When I could no longer drive a car, students of mine Steve, Ram and Dan - volunteered their assistance to get me to and from the university. When hauling me in and out of a normal car became too awkward and I was pretty much confined to a wheelchair, Lew and Joyce offered to have their van converted to make it accessible for my use. When I began to lose my energy and stamina, colleagues at the university were able to find ways to lighten my teaching load. When I had trouble writing, Gretchen volunteered to be my right hand. And as my voice weakened, she came up with the alphabet chart that I still use for communicating. Gretchen’s husband Bruce became the Director of Player Personnel for my fantasy baseball team—bragging, we finished first in 1995 and 1998. Two prominent examples of the right people appearing unexpectedly on my horizon at the right time were my “computer gurus,” Jan and Diane. They were exceptional. As the ALS progressed and left me too weak to raise my hands to the keyboard, along came Jan. 1 hate to think of how many hours he must have put in on my behalf designing, from scratch, a program that would enable me to type with my eyebrows. He was never satisfied and was constantly working to improve his original creation. Every time he came up with a new version, he would spend a whole evening with me in my study having me test it and make suggestions. Then he would go home and work on it some more. We finally settled on version six or seven! Jan’s dedication, especially for someone who was volunteering his time, was just remarkable. His invention worked beautiful for three years until my weakening eyebrows made it too difficult for me to use. To say that I was discouraged would be a vast understatement. And then, voila, along came Diane, a specialist in adaptive computer equipment. She was the one who noticed my slight leg movement and then designed and installed a terrific system which utilizes that tiny movement. As a result, for the last six years I have been typing with my foot which, as a friend pointed out to me, is quite appropriate for a retired soccer coach. When I felt I needed some sort of creative outlet, a means of communicating what I had been reading and what was in my head about the collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War, Dave and Maria, the pastors at Northridge United Methodist Church, agreed to allow me to start writing regular articles for the church newsletter. The more than one hundred articles I have written over the past years have done absolute wonders for the self-esteem of a physically helpless and completely dependent person. It gave me the confidence and motivation to write my book, How Will They Know If I’m Dead? Transcending Disability and Terminal Illness.

I think U shud read this

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:37 EST

Power of Choice: The Right to Live and the Right to Die Robert C. Horn III

It is amazing to me how rapidly one can plummet from the heights of the mountaintop to the depths of the valley. Or at least how fast I could. And did. It was virtually instantaneous. One moment life was glorious and the next it appeared to be over.

In the spring of 1988 I felt on top of the world. My life couldn’t have been much better. The academic year was a truly outstanding one for me. It began with the award of a sabbatical for the fall semester. I was doing research on Soviet-Vietnamese relations in the hopes of expanding a monograph I had written on the subject (during a recent fellowship at the RAND Corporation) into a book. Thanks to Asian colleagues I met at a series of seminars at the East-West Center at the University of Hawaii, I was invited to speak and conduct interviews in several Asian countries….

More special things happened in the spring semester. For one, our Model UN program made its long-discussed venture from the Far West regional conference to the National Conference in New York... At about the same time, I was informed that I was to be one of that year’s recipients of the Distinguished Professor Award….Finally, I spent almost two weeks in Moscow in mid-May at the invitation of the Institute of Far Eastern Studies of the USSR Academy of Sciences….

Granted, I was not wealthy financially or in material terms but I considered myself rich in areas of far greater importance: family, religion and employment. Judy and I had a loving and fulfilling marriage and our children (Jeff then in his first year in college, Chris in his junior year in high school and Laura in junior high) were doing well in all respects and continued to be a source of joy to us. We were active members of a dynamic Methodist church that more than met our spiritual needs, deepened our faith, and was filled with wonderful people. Finally, we both had jobs we enjoyed, college teaching in my case and directing a pre-school in Judy’s, and that we felt made a contribution to the community. Professionally, my research was going very well.

So what was next? Immediately, there was another trip to Asia. I had been asked by the United States Information Agency to embark on a three week speaking tour in Asia that summer under their auspices. The trip would include Australia and New Zealand, where I had never been, as well as Japan and would give me the opportunity of seeing a great many friends, personal and professional. I was eagerly looking forward to it.

The “roll” I was on was about to come to a sudden and devastating halt. The ancient Greeks said that “pride goeth before the fall.” I don’t really think my pride caused it but I was about to learn about the fall in a far too personal, first hand and major way. I had been having spasms in my left arm. The visit to the neurologist is, unfortunately, etched indelibly on my mind. (The only thing I can’t recall is the name of the doctor; I suppose I have repressed it.) After he examined me, particularly checking my muscles and reflexes, he asked me what I thought might be the problem. “I don’t know,” I replied, still clueless. “A pinched nerve?” Then he said, with considerably more medical accuracy than bedside manner, “Have you ever heard of Lou Gehrig’s disease ?“

Of course I had; Gehrig was one of my baseball heroes. Then I went numb. The blood drained from my head. I couldn’t finish getting dressed, and I had to lie down. There is no good way to deliver such news but his abrupt and harsh pronouncement was awful. The only “consolation” he could offer was that he would have to do a number of tests before a diagnosis could be confirmed.

I knew what Lou Gehrig’s disease meant: progressive loss of muscles paralysis, leading to death within a few, short, agonizing years. I was never going to be normal again. And, very soon I was going to die.

A short time later, I was officially diagnosed as having amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. ALS is a degenerative neuromuscular disease that swiftly robs the victim of voluntary muscle control, including those necessary for breathing. The average life expectancy after diagnosis is two to five years. ALS does not affect the mind, so on is perfectly aware of his or her physical deterioration. By the end, the individual typically is unable to move, talk above a whisper, eat without choking or breathe without difficulty.

ALS is a terminal disease. It is progressive, unrelenting, merciless. Its endgame is inevitable.

.....CHECK NEXT WEEK FOR CONTINUATION.

extract from lifechallenges

Dress Temptation

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:56 EST

Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought."How could you do this?!"

"I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, 'You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'"

"Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of temptation. I say, 'Get behind me, Satan!'"

"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said, 'It looks fabulous from back here, too!'"

Love

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:00 EST

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.

Love is content with the present, it hopes for the future, and it doesn’t brood over the past. It’s the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories and working toward common goals.

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don’t have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.

Words of wisdom from Great Men

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:21 EST

If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
Albert Einstein

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King

Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Benjamin Franklin

What I Learned

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:29 EST

I've learned - That you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned - that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned - that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned - that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned - that learning to forgive takes practice.

An Inspirational Short Story with Wisdom

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:47 EST

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.

When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world."

By Unknown Monk, 1100 A.D.

Food For Thought:"

"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water,
and breeds reptiles of the mind."
William Blake

Behavior Principle

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 05:14 EST

I cannot be responsible for something I cannot change and that is you. I must be responsible for myself and the manner in which I conduct myself. Only you have the power to change yourself. If you will accept personal responsibility for your own behavior and I accept personal responsibility for my behavior, then together we will influence others around us to accept the same responsibility for their behavior.

Attitude

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:44 EST

ATTITUDE

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

from Strengthening Your Grip

by Charles Swindoll

Help Goes Around

Tue, 27 May 2008 05:03 EST

An Act Of Kindness

He was driving home one evening, on a two-lane country road. Work, in this small mid-western community, was almost as slow as his beat-up Pontiac. But he never quit looking. Ever since the Levis factory closed, he'd been unemployed, and with winter raging on, the chill had finally hit home. It was a lonely road. Not very many people had a reason to be on it, unless they were leaving. Most of his friends had already left. They had families to feed and dreams to fulfill. But he stayed on. After all, this was where he buried his mother and father. He was born here and knew the country.

He could go down this road blind, and tell you what was on either side, and with his headlights not working, that came in handy. It was starting to get dark and light snow flurries were coming down. He'd better get a move on. You know, he almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road. But even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe, he looked poor and hungry. He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill that only fear can put in you. He said, "I'm here to help you m'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm. By the way, my name is Joe."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough Joe crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down her window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid. Joe just smiled as he closed her trunk.

She asked him how much she owed him. Any amount would have been alright with her. She had already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Joe never thought twice about the money. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance that they needed, and Joe added "...and think of me".

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight. A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The cash register was like the telephone of an out of work actor, it didn't ring much.

Her waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed that the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Joe.

After the lady finished her meal, and the waitress went to get her change from a hundred dollar bill, the lady slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. She wondered where the lady could be, then she noticed something written on a napkin. There were tears in her eyes, when she read what the lady wrote. It said, "You don't owe me a thing, I've been there too. Someone once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here's what you do. Don't let the chain of love end with you."

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could she have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be alright, I love you Joe."

Author unknown; contributed by popular author, Lee Ryan Miller - from his personal collection of inspirational stories. Visit Lee's web site at www.leeryanmiller.com

TOUCHINGLOVESTORIES

Thu, 15 May 2008 10:32 EST

Dream Mate

by anonymous

Years ago I asked God to send me a wife, for the Bible says “you have not because you ask not“. I told the Lord not just that I wanted a wife but even explained to him the kind of wife I was looking for.

I told him I wanted someone who is kind, tender, gentle, compassionate, loving, sincere, peaceful, generous, affectionate, understanding, passionate, warm, intelligent, humorous, sensual, and trustful. I even mentioned things I wanted her to be physically. And as time passed, I would add more things to this list of my heart desire for a wife.

Then one night in prayer God spoke to my heart and said... “Son I can not give you what you've asked me for.“ I said, “Why not Lord?“ He replied, “For I am a just God and a God of righteousness and all I do is just and right.“ I said, “Lord, I don't understand why I cannot have what I have asked you for.“

He replied, “Then I will explain. It would not be just and right for me to grant to you your wish for I cannot give unto you something that you are not yourself. It would not be fair for me to grant unto you a person that is loving if you can sometimes be hateful, or someone that is kind if you can also be mean, someone that is a forgiver and yet you can still carry a grudge, someone that is sensitive and you are yet so insensitive... etc.

He said unto me, “Instead of wasting time trying to find someone or hoping that I will give you someone with all these qualities you seek, you should rather allow me to take this time to allow you to become all it is that you are looking for. For I cannot give to you that which you are not.“

“And if you allow me to work up on your spirit and to shape and mold your heart as I choose then when you see the one I have for you, you will be able to say like Adam said... “She is bone of my bone and she is flesh of my flesh“ for you will see yourself in her for you both will be one flesh.“

Keep this in mind.
This is for all:
the recently married;
the ones who have been married;
the soon to get married;
and the ones that are still looking.

God made woman from man's rib --
not from his head to top him,
nor from his feet to be walked upon;
but from his side to be his partner in life,
from under his arm to be protected by him,
and from near his heart to be loved by him.

Whether or not you believe in God, much of the above still applies.