it has been like a decade since i last did anything on zorpia... hehe most of my friends in school has forsaken it and seeing no updates whatsoever, i did not bother to come here at all... hehe. But today as i was too free for words (for i am down with some sickness currently)... i reckoned that i'd just log in and see what i've missed. the moment i did so, it was like "oh my gosh, what a hideous display picture." LOL no kidding, the previous display pic, which WAS intended to look sexy and nonchalant (oops) turned out to be a complete buttons-down disaster hahahaahhahahahaha....

  So there you have it, a refreshed profile of me, myself and I.

haven't touched my zorpia account for yonks.... anyone wanna update me on recent happenings?

  it's not that i dislike languages, far from it in fact. i had been and always will be a great fan of the lyrical poetic atmospheres derived from the simplest of words. that very much explains the sense of presence prevailing in most of my works, with critical and argumentative essays being the only exceptions. ugh, talking about all this is pretty silly (not to mention that it defeats the purpose of my clicking the "post a journal box").... that's not my style.

  what i'm about to tell u here is about a friend who, for the longest time, had dreaded English for as long as i can remember. it's not as if he totally sucks at it. it's just that he's still pretty much fragmented in usage or something. the point is, he already has shown mild signs of detest yet i don't really know what i can do to help him. worst of all, our teacher isn't really good at persuasion and encouragement. maybe she was just spurring us to perform better, but i just can't connect with the "ingenious" parts underlying her actions. for all you know i may be demented or something. for all you know, you might be able to decipher what has been undecipherable to me all this while...

  it all began with our first essay assignment. group work. hand up the next day. a subject unfamiliar to most of us. period. almost impossible given not the fact that i'd be meeting up with my group leader later on at sports practice. maybe she expected us to do all those job-dividing, writing, proof-reading and compilation within a mere few hours, i don't know. sure, i had no problem churning a few bordering-on-acceptable paragraphs but as for my friend it held some difficulty. right after lesson, he was slamming his books on the desk lamenting on the usuals, you know, the things like "dumb English", "i can't do it" and stuffs. i think at the moment i couldn't really empathize with his situation as i had never really encountered any major problems acing my language tests... perhaps the cocky side of me shielded me from defining from his angle.

  but the worst was when she handed the essays back. i don't really understand what's with the teacher commenting on each essays right in front of the class. really i don't understand at all. managing anything near would be truly magnanimous. when it was down to his group, "loose planning, rampant grammatical errors, without unified sense" was heard across the classroom. she even added as a passing remark, for us to "look at the essay". that sent my brows knotting. firstly what good is it telling us about how he had fared? it's not as if we were going to read the essay for real, judging for ourselves  whether her words hold any weight. secondly, if it was really as bad as she claimed it was, why ask us to read it? really really, i don't understand this. maybe you would term it differently but i am of the idea that this was a little bit cruel and harsh. yes as i was saying, thirdly, why bother commenting on essays that we'd never get to read and waste all  that time? maybe it wasn't her intention to put down my friend, but the effect was unmistakable.

  he blames himself for bringing his group down, right to this very day.

  that's some worrying matters that can't be assuaged easily, not even when your essay was the best in the class. oh who cares? 

  if only there's a way for him to see the light that i am to certain extent, able to relate to him. i have this little selfish thought that the reason i couldn't ... lies in him thinking that he's way beyond me in this aspect. yes, yes,... the ugly side of humanity and how un-shy i m to be able to spill it all out in my blog post. if only my friend knew that i too went through the same things once. the same desperation, that hideous frustration due to inferiority...

  but i know not how to help him.

  perhaps a hundred model essays forced upon him? that would be ridiculous.....

  tomorrow we shall write yet another essay. on a sarcastic note,

  wednesday is a good day........