Friday,Nov 6 2009, 04:45:40 PMDeserved

Here comes the time, unexpectedly, out of my control,

and without a say from me, for I'm informed.

It hurts, because all out of control,

it's nothing worse than being forced.

On the happiest night in the confinement,

from the highest dropping down to nothing,

all of a sudden,

I just want to hide myself away from anything,

even from those I love all along nor even try to get myself enough sleep or food.

I know what I should do for our good,

I know exactly how I should treat myself,

I know, I really do,

but I chose to go to the postbox,

and witnessed a breach of the peace;

then, I went to a postbox somewhere further,

alone on the dark street,

still, the green head is still around me,

for the dark street I walked,

has his part there.

Being too relying on the green head for months and weeks,

starting from week 10 to week 42,

a total of 32 weeks,

8 months time, under that confinement,

I went through it, and I thought I could reach there with good memories,

I end up with "reminders" all the time,

nightmares everywhere.

However, as it's out of control,

it's God's will,

I can't do anything to change,

nor have any power to change,

for the decision is made,

the fact is out there.

What I can do is to hold myself from being keep talking to a target which I should never reach,

I deserved what I have now,

as I crossed the line.

It's expected,

but I'm too simple to once believe that I can be an exception,

facts proves I don't deserve one.

It's obvious that I don't want to let go,

and I seem to believe that by keep saying something like this and that might be able to gain back the attention,

but I shouldn't be doing all these,

for I'm no longer in the position.

It's hurt because you said I'm still in the position,

again,

the fact proves,

I'll never be in the position,

for the green head is not mine,

and will never be mine again,

as far as responsibility is taken up.

Hate to get "roger that, goodnight, out" as our last words,

but I did receive such.

It's always true that I can't accept this,

and now,

I'll try as hard as I can and with all my might, as if I'm going for my 3rd hell week in life.

How long will it last?

Gods know.

You know exactly well,

if there's a responsibility,

even you don't want to let go,

you're forced to.

Why don't we let go for free now?

No matter what my decision is for my part,

I'm alone,

but you aren't.

Please bear in mind why I let go,

please remember the big issue ahead of us,

it's all because of a fright or worry,

we apart.

What the best for me,

is to do your best to cease that worry and fright,

then my departure,

is meaningful,

a lot more meaningful.

Sunday,Nov 1 2009, 02:44:59 PM.......

When you encounter something beyond your control,

how will you respond?

Standing aside without taking any action, but just watching those good stuff slipping away, ...

Read More...

Sunday,Oct 18 2009, 07:43:44 AMRed Bean

The last piece of red bean candy is on her desk,

which has the special name card put on.

The crazy girl has made up her mind to take the last piece of red bean candy, ...

Read More...