Saturday,Dec 26 2009, 02:53:23 PMThe Christmas Gift

I thought I could use Chinese to do my writing as I used to,

but,

by the time I started typing the first line,

I find that I can't anymore,

perhaps, I've got used to comment in the way I use to now.

It's always bad to recall the past,

to recall the responsibility behind.

Not only feel painful for yours, but mine also.

What makes me keep being reminded?

Perhaps, it's the sense of "crisis",

the sense we got to have in our job,

for it's essential,

to keep us live.

Having this sense in happy times,

makes one can't enjoy the times whole-heartedly.

It's a kind of worry behind,

for the stupid girl worries bad might come when she's having her happiest time.

Sometimes, when no one else is around,

funny thoughts came.

"What'd happen if I didn't reveal what's in me by then? Would the facts changed? Or the facts would come the same even I didn't say a word?"

All such questions keep spinning in my mind,

as I would like someone to tell me,

no matter what I did,

I would have what I'm having now.

It seems the worry might become lighter if I got such an answer.

I'm so happy to have my gift around me always,

it's speical,

it always be,

and it's invaluable that I can keep all those worries in me for it.

Please,

let me keep what I have now,

for I don't want to lose the gift again.

But, if one day,

the gift finds me intolerable,

please don't hide,

for it can do what it likes;

and if it wishes to free,

I will free it,

as it's,

again,

invaluable to me,

as it always does.

Tuesday,Nov 17 2009, 12:42:46 PMUnderestimated

It's true,
that I underestimated its effect on me.
I didn't know that I'll become like what I am now,
nor I know I'd leave what I thought I would have for life.
I didn't mean to leave, ...

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Friday,Nov 6 2009, 04:45:40 PMDeserved

Here comes the time, unexpectedly, out of my control,

and without a say from me, for I'm informed.

It hurts, because all out of control, ...

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