Friday,Jan 28 2005, 03:01:45 PMhi, is about to finish this January very...

hi, is about to finish this January very soon. also noticed all the journal i posted here... from early until these days. full with unhappy and sadness things. Xmas,Tsunami, Exams, Jobless, Failure of life etc... only can blame to myself why i chose to Earth...

went to college today for collecting feedback. ah~ another bad news... another cow poo on my part. enough! final and i decided!!! no more...
i walked in the City Centre to locate the venue i will do interview on monday... to find the location of the place i going to work (wish so)  more than 3 hours walking around from places to places, and now my feet is hurted!!! my mind was empty while i am walking. even did what i usually not do, kicked a few of cans and paper cups, tripped by rubbish, and walked slowly... along the canal, watched those ducks swim in the canal without knowing the world... what a free feeling~ reflection from water and the darkness in the under bridge are beautiful... realising they are more pretty than normal day. no camera with me and cant show you all... day is getting darker and wind is blowing stronger... about time for home...

headed to the bus stop. as soon i there, the bus arrive... never been so lucky b4. cz i always have to wait for it... haha on the bus, never feel so relish... sit what ever i like... the sky become dramaly... so grey and those thick cloud moved so fast. make me think back the 1st day i arrive to UK b4 touching the ground (on flight) what a english weather... cant complaint much lah... have to get on with it. ah, why i saying this? haha, getting mad. forget this!

okay where i am, right... yah. back to house. my key wont work on the door... (tried many time)damn so bad. thought the door is broken or something. so i rang the door bell to let other open the door for me. and i try again the door...damn now is working... shit me again. what a bad luck, even a door!!!  but lucky is other tenant was in the house, otherwise have to shit on the door step.

hope this coming February will get better... Good Luck/better luck should coming back to me!!! 

i am so tire now... feel like rust...

                                       ( rust on my skin)

okay, that my today report... happy!  

Tuesday,Jan 25 2005, 11:17:42 PMai~ everyone seen to have lot to talk about....

ai~ everyone seen to have lot to talk about. i also want to say something lah. so start to blar balr balr balr balr and blar...and blar...

i been very not happy (does not mean sad). just not happy! so angry to myself and with myself...  2005 does not seen very good for me- so many bad starting. many things just want to against on me. until now cant even manage to find a part time job. bank is driving to bottom line... red line!!! study does not turn up very good as well as i want to be... i totally lose all my motivation for study... even motivation of my life...

yah, i am lucky to stay alive on this planet; also i am not so lucky to live. 50 years more to go b4 i die (now i am 22 and predicted to die on 72)... 50~what a long way to abuse my body and soul... on the quater way of life and i start to get bore and losing motivation... what am i? idiot!!!! haha, i am!  

today, mainly 2 bad news came to me... i was sat on floor in the corridor. while i was waiting to meet one of my lectures, i had thought. a thought i been thinking b4 for quite a while... 2 bad news dragging out all of my sadness and all my pressures. almost cry in the corriddor, i guess every passing by students/lectures did notice a lonely sadness small-guy sitting on the floor(may be not). sitting on the floor blankly staring at floor like a beggar!  i managed to hold up my tears  after got that lecture, no answer i can get. have to back again tomoro. what a waste of time for waiting. 2 hours!!!! WTF $@#^#@^!!!! 

on the way back. 25 minutes on the bus... mind became a mess... thinking to stop the study course. YES, i am going to!!!  evil me~ now i want to get stop for study and out for FULL time job. Fxxk everything i care...
i was thought to get a part time job while i am study to help reduce my financial decreasing. but now turn out i am not capable to manage my study, that is no way to able work and study same time in this condition. so... i chose to stop study... ( i know you must disagree from here) but it leave me with no choice. i been talked with many close friends... they pity me but can not help me more. 

WHY ~!? i been UK almost 4 years, no luck is helping me at all!!! so shxx! 5 months ago b4 i moved to Birmingham, the similar shxx was around me but i managed to get on. now... this is bigger shxx.
what on earth, where are the big cow come from. HELLO~ may be the cow should learn where to do shxx. stop doing it on my head!!!  i am alone does not mean i am the person for bully. i hate everything now!!!  but i still do love onions, at least they make me cry for a reason . actually i had bought onions from market, around 30 of them. guess is enough to make me cry loud ...in fact i am crying~

why i swim so fast at very 1st...? what for...? black and white is so beautiful, why we have to go for colour? aren't simplicity are nicer?  curious thing.

i guess should stop here, you guys must be tire to read all this stupid things...

thanks for listening... cheerio~

Sunday,Jan 23 2005, 10:27:48 AM* 心�的太阳 某某�触动了我的灵�

* 心中的太阳

 

某某歌触动了我的灵感，

触动过程中也让我想了不少东西。

我借用了太阳当隐喻感，

仿佛拥有在心里中的一种小东西。

 

老是觉得心不在焉，

好像少了某某东西，

像事事都得无所愿。

一艘小木舟在河溪，

无方向般漂流至远，

生命有如一般假虚。

 

是谁把我心中的太阳带走？

是谁把我心中的太阳偷走？

心中的太阳被拿走了~ 哦

心中的太阳被借走了~ 哦

 

感到很昏暗啊。。。

好冷，冰冷，

从远处低照着数道脆弱的光，

好冷的光，

冰冷的光，

远处偷笑着我的遗失，冷月光，

仿佛像一把锐利的剑在讽刺我。

 

好黑暗啊。。。

层厚的阴云也到来，

把冷月也遮盖了，

不介意冷月讽刺来，

但这也太残酷了，

突然没感觉到未来，

希望你们是逗乐，

不然我可是好无赖。

 

熟悉的缓光远道而来，

我的太阳！带着粉色光来。

灿烂的回归，给我感到您存在的可贵。

 

心中的太阳，我爱您！

请不要再离开我，我心中的太阳！

 

 

 

* 009-0015-23012005 *

Monday,Jan 17 2005, 11:39:32 PM* 诞生重庆日 Celebrating Birthday 好开

* 诞生重庆日                                                               Celebrating Birthday

 

好开心咧~                                                                   So happy leh~

再度庆祝生日，                                                          Another birthday celebration,

与朋友之间庆祝已不是初次了，                                This is not the first time done it with friend,

也不是初次在英国度过生日了，                                Also not the first time done it in the UK,

2005年 的这一群朋友还是超新的，                           Year 2005- with a group of new friend,

相识都不到四个月，                                                  No more than 4 months scene we have met,

十位俊男美女集在一间小客厅里大吃！                    Ten of us gathered and ate in a small living area!

超痛快！                                                                     Super great happiness!

虽然我是已忙了一阵天，                                           Although I been busy for the whole day,

但还是累得很超开心的。                                           This feel of tire actually is happiness.

大家都尽情地吃我驻煮的菜肴。                                Everyone enjoyed eating those foods I prepared and cooked.

都被杀个片甲不留~ 十个菜肴与甜品都完了。          We killed all of them~ ten main dishes included with dessert.

酒也沾了一点点，                                                      We touched little bit of alcohol drinks,

茶也偿了一点点，                                                      We tasted little bit of tea,

相也照了一些些，                                                      We took little bit of photographs,

生日歌也听一部部，                                                  We sang many different birthday songs,

也许了一个小小愿。                                                  A wish been made.

 

我都没告诉他人今天就是我的生日，                         I did not tell anyone about today is my birthday,

但我脸上的兴奋已出卖了我自己。                            But my facial had betrayed myself.

始终还是为我而庆祝。                                               At the end still a celebration been made.

虽然我的生日不曾庆祝多次，                                    Although only a few time I did celebrated my birthday,

但每一回都很开心。                                                  But every single time I am pleased with.

这回比较特别，大家都是新朋友。                            This time was special, with totally new friends.

但旧朋友我还是会纪念的，挂念的。                        However I would remember all of my old friends.

感谢大家的贺庆与陪同，不论是远方或邻近。         Thanks to all greeting from you all, no matter far or near.

 

今天就那样的度过了，                                               Today just passing like normal,

明天又是新的一天。                                                  Another new day waiting for tomorrow.

呼 ~ 2006 年！我来了！                                              Huu~ year 2006! I am coming!

 

 

 

* 008-2330-17012005 *                                                  ** May not same but similar to Chinese version **

***No metaphor for this dairy. Easy to translate but still  have to use some broken English for expression translating ***

Saturday,Jan 15 2005, 12:21:31 AMhi hi ~! what a release... exam period is...

hi hi ~! what a release... exam period is gone!!! hooray~ hope i dont have to resit them...hehe... better not!!!

i am cool abit now... my aim is find JOB!!! my job/s, i am coming.......

another break another bore... but job i must find you, and you must let me!!!

 

 

* 心结篇

 

好沉重！好犹豫！好郁闷！

解释不了的闷，

解释不了的烦，

都不明白，不了解，不清楚。

血液都到达不了大脑，

血管都好像被打结了，

终于发现了它，结~

 

心结，打得好乱，好复杂，

结~ 就有好多的结，似乎没办法解开的结。

好像昏晕的感觉，快呼吸不了了~

该解的结持待已久，犹如已千亿年的等待。

终于可勇敢的去挑战它，面对它~

“解铃终需系铃人”

原来解心结都是用着同样的道理。

并不很难，有如一对相配的钥匙与锁扣，

轻而易举，咔~ 响亮般，清脆地结锁。

 

舒服多了！

沉重，犹豫，郁闷，都少了！

真的感觉清朗多了！透一透气~

为什么当初会让它打结呢？真不明白！

我的自己呀~ 你到底是怎么了？

算了吧，解开就算了！

就当它是一种过程与经验，必经之路！

 

解了它，真开心~  真爽~
请你们别再来烦我了！

告别啦~

 

 

 

* 006-0115-15012005 *