cicksunt's Homepage

Emos and sad people are shitting me

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:15 EST

Ok, seriously.

There are perhaps 3 people I talk to on an ocassional to frequent basis online who aren't emo, but they are never happy. What's with that?
Here's a taster of how the conversation might go:

Steve: heya
Me: hey :)
Steve: how's it going?
Me: yeah pretty good! yourself?
Steve: been better
Me: oh? why's that?
Steve: just shit earlier tonight
Steve: it doesn't matter hun
Steve: dw

Don't mention it if it doesn't matter. If it doesn't matter, don't even give it the time of day, put it aside, and fucking get over it. Ain't nothing wrong with just saying you're "ok". It doesn't have to be one big fucking melodrama all the time.
Here's how another conversation might go with another person:

Me: hey!
John: hey
Me: how are you!? :D
John: shit
Me: why's that?
John: just feel alone, no one loves me, sittin here with a bottle of jim beam
Me: maybe you should go out with some friends instead of sitting inside getting drunk by yourself?
John: no one to go with

Well jesus christ. Friends don't just come to you, you have to put in some sort of effort with people! Also, sitting inside at the computer on a Sunday drinking yourself to sleep isn't doing much for your health.

I sure as hell have nothing to complain about. No. Seriously. I actually have nothing to complain about! I could make up some bullshit drama and say that I'm feeling threatened by some emo chick on Facebook because she keeps commenting my boyfriend's page. But I'm not. And it doesn't make much sense because he hates emos. And so do I for that matter.

Dirty little soap-dodgers with dirty little fringes whinging to us who; a) wash and, b) don't make ourselves out to be the victims all the time. I'm a young woman who got a public and private-school education. I live in a nice house with my mum and older sister. My life is awesome. It really is. Damn fucking straight there's nothing wrong with being white and middle-class. So what the fuck are you crying and moaning and whinging and pissing and slashing your wrists over!? What the fuck is so wrong with your life?

What, so no one else understands you? No one has felt pain or heartbreak or sad or alone, except you? What's that? You're unique? Yes, and to a larger extent, no. In the grand scheme of things, you are just a grain of rice. I'd say having food in your big, luxurious, secure, two-storey house, and choosing to not eat it because you're "hurting too much to eat", is a little bit slanted. It won't hurt to smile either. I mean, your gums aren't rotting from the dirty water you have to drink, are they? Your teeth aren't rotting from malnutrition are they? Your parents can afford braces when you don't even fucking need them. You don't have a medical problem with your jaw alignment, but having a symmetrical smile is SO important nowadays. Smile. I dare you. Oh, but then again, looking perpetually depressed and pissed off is totally 'the look' right now. Go blow a goat. No one cares.

Give a thought, if it's not too blood-and-tear-drenched, to a starving African child with one arm and AIDs. Parents dead from the disease, and the kid probably won't live past 15. Grandmother runs a business building and selling coffins (it's a massive industry in Africa). They make about US$4 a fortnight. No drinking water, no food, no clothing, no iPods. So what are your problems? Run them by me again. Your boy/girlfriend dumped you. Your parents might be getting divorced. Your mum drives a car that's over FIVE YEARS OLD OMG. You had to withstand a 3-minute conversation with her this morning as she drove you to your private school. You had tonsilitis so you couldn't go and see My Chemical Romance live with all your other trendy, upwardly mobile emo friends. You're "fat" (fat: over 60kg). You can't afford the newest type of iPod. Your solid, 4 shift-a-week job at MacDonalds sucks. You want to kill yourself over that? Go right ahead. Yeah. Very legitimate. Cunt.

hormones... whore moans... ahahhhhh

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:28 EST

.Ok

I am on this new contraceptive pill. And it's making me go crazy. Like. The Joker crazy. Not that I'm turning into a homicidal maniac, but you get the picture. One minute I'm up like a balloon. The next I'm lower than Pamela Anderson's morals. Every little thing that could upset me, does upset me. I saw a picture of my boyfriend from his 20th birthday (2 frigging years ago!), with a girl in a kind of, 'I-don't-like-leaving-anything-to-the-imagination' Catwoman outfit, and I nearly lost my shit completely. Started feeling all down on myself, and you know, that word... the 'f' word.. fat. I asked a friend's advice (always a sound option), and she said to give this pill time. If it's still the same, stop, and go and find another one. Thing is, I just don't want to be on these bloody things. Bad enough I have to have my period every month already. Having my hormones screwed up is just poor form.

Side-effects from taking this pill include, but are not exclusive to; weight gain/loss, acne, moodswings (oh la de da!), and more frequent or severe cramps. I read in the little pamphlet thing that contraceptive pills have been known to increase the risk of breast cancer (my grandma's had a mastectomy from having had breast cancer), you shouldn't take it in conjunction with most prescription medicine, you could have bleeds that last 30 days with some if they don't suit you. Rrrrr! It's awesome being a woman. No really. Every month you get to be curled up in agony with a hottie and chocolate:- (menstral cramping is like being kicked in the balls, gentlemen), and, if you want to take things further, you get to have an entire BABY force it's way out of your genitals. Seriously, I am so hormonal.

random thoughts

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 03:07 EST

Things have been so complex lately. I keep having stupid tiffs with my significant other. It's naive to ask, but why does it have to be complicated? I like him a lot, so I'm in a relationship with him. So why does there have to be this excess stuff? Jokes or flirtacious disses that go too far, someone gets hurt, someone can't take a joke, someone thinks the other is trying to get across hostile undertones. But then there's no alternatives, so we just keep struggling on, fuelling the passion with kindling until we've run out, and just have to move onto the next thing life throws at us. It's tough being in this state of mind. I'm hopeful, yet I know the way I want it to be, isn't the way it really is. So why do I keep thinking this is forever? Me and this guy. I'd love for it to last longer. But what if it doesn't? What if I don't find someone else? I know I'm not ugly, but it seems to be when I find someone, I find something to help them with. Then it ends, and I move onto someone else. A past boyfriend of mine, I convinced and inspired him to go back to school. Then it ended. Am I just here to help people with their problems? Without my problems getting addressed or solved? What is this? Why is this happening?