Journals
Tuesday,Jul 22 2008, 04:28:47 PMhormones... whore moans... ahahhhhh
.Ok
I am on this new contraceptive pill. And it's making me go crazy. Like. The Joker crazy. Not that I'm turning into a homicidal maniac, but you get the picture. One minute I'm up like a balloon. The next I'm lower than Pamela Anderson's morals. Every little thing that could upset me, does upset me. I saw a picture of my boyfriend from his 20th birthday (2 frigging years ago!), with a girl in a kind of, 'I-don't-like-leaving-anything-to-the-imagination' Catwoman outfit, and I nearly lost my shit completely. Started feeling all down on myself, and you know, that word... the 'f' word.. fat. I asked a friend's advice (always a sound option), and she said to give this pill time. If it's still the same, stop, and go and find another one. Thing is, I just don't want to be on these bloody things. Bad enough I have to have my period every month already. Having my hormones screwed up is just poor form.
Side-effects from taking this pill include, but are not exclusive to; weight gain/loss, acne, moodswings (oh la de da!), and more frequent or severe cramps. I read in the little pamphlet thing that contraceptive pills have been known to increase the risk of breast cancer (my grandma's had a mastectomy from having had breast cancer), you shouldn't take it in conjunction with most prescription medicine, you could have bleeds that last 30 days with some if they don't suit you. Rrrrr! It's awesome being a woman. No really. Every month you get to be curled up in agony with a hottie and chocolate:- (menstral cramping is like being kicked in the balls, gentlemen), and, if you want to take things further, you get to have an entire BABY force it's way out of your genitals. Seriously, I am so hormonal.
Monday,Jul 21 2008, 08:07:56 AMrandom thoughts
Things have been so complex lately. I keep having stupid tiffs with my significant other. It's naive to ask, but why does it have to be complicated? I like him a lot, so I'm in a relationship with him. So why does there have to be this excess stuff? Jokes or flirtacious disses that go too far, someone gets hurt, someone can't take a joke, someone thinks the other is trying to get across hostile undertones. But then there's no alternatives, so we just keep struggling on, fuelling the passion with kindling until we've run out, and just have to move onto the next thing life throws at us. It's tough being in this state of mind. I'm hopeful, yet I know the way I want it to be, isn't the way it really is. So why do I keep thinking this is forever? Me and this guy. I'd love for it to last longer. But what if it doesn't? What if I don't find someone else? I know I'm not ugly, but it seems to be when I find someone, I find something to help them with. Then it ends, and I move onto someone else. A past boyfriend of mine, I convinced and inspired him to go back to school. Then it ended. Am I just here to help people with their problems? Without my problems getting addressed or solved? What is this? Why is this happening?