Journal
Monday,Oct 5 2009, 11:42:52 AMmonday morning blues
i woke up with her in my mind again. they say that if someone is on your mind, they are supposed to be there. i feel like i want a relationship with her but it hurts that i know she wont. if i cant have the relationship i want then i still want to be a part of her life. she lives so far away now and said i can go and visit her but i dont have a car yet. i have the money but i cant seem to find a good cheap car yet. i want to see her, damm i miss her so much. we met last year at school. she was the counselor there and i was a student. i told her i had feeling for her half way through the year of school. she said she never dates students either from the past or in the future and that her boyfriend wont like her seeing someone else. she has also told me that she is not a lesbian but in fact straight. why cany i get this through my head. i feel deep down that she is not completely honest but i am confused...what if this is what i really hope..so i can have a chance with her...what if my heart wont listen to my mind and keeps telling me to keep in touch with her because somewhere down the road we will be together...is this a hope that will die? i hate the not knowing...but i have to hope and keep faith. i feel like we will be together...either that or im crazy and need to see a doctor lol....