Wednesday,Nov 16 2005, 09:27:14 AMWherever the sun goes down

It's gonna be month soon. Sometimes I stay awake at night thinking about you, us, and it drives me crazy. There are very few moments of weakness, where I'll give in and cry for you, but that isn't that often. My thoughts are all over the place now, worse than before, so I'll try to make this make the most sense possible.
 
I felt so much for you. I don't think you knew that. I hardly ever showed it. I figured I had plenty of time for that. Regret is a frequent feeling. At least I have closure knowing I did love you.

I like to think you still have feelings for me, even though I know you don't. I guess it kinda keeps me going, thinking that someday you'll come back begging for my love, and I'll be able to hurt you the way you hurt me. Who am I kidding? I would never be able to hurt you. I'm unable.

The first time I had an actual conversation with you was very memorable. You acted so dorky, but so cute. It was endearing. I loved it when you looked at me the first time; with wide, curious eyes. Like a newborn baby. I hid my face in my arms and looked at you, because I didn't want you to see me blush, or my goofy smile. You had made me feek so comfortable, that pretty soon I was able to talk to you as if I'd known you all my life. It left me with a goofy smile all that day, and that weekend.

You gave me more than I could've asked for (good and bad) and my memories of you are only good ones. I really hope you can say the same about me. Even though you'll never feel the way i did, you'll always mean alot to me. One day, I hope you can find it in your heart to let us be friends again. It really hurts knowing that I lost you completely, but I feel better thinking that maybe, just maybe, one day we can be friends again. I hope that somehow this will get to you. It would be better if you knew all this. You know where to find me; wherever the sun goes down.

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