Journals
Sunday,Jan 27 2008, 03:24:52 PMAre you a genius?
QUIZ
ARE YOU A GENIUS?
To : Chris and Pinky
and anybody who'd want some while of fun and relaxation.
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1. While Bill was walking his dog, he met his mother-in-law's only
daughter's husband's son. What relation was this person to Bill?
2. I met my friend the test pilot, who had completed an around-the-world
flight by balloon. With the pilot was a little girl of about two. "What's
her name?" I asked my friend, whom I hadn't seen in five years and who
had married in that time. "Same as her mother," the pilot said. "Hello Susan,"
I said to the girl. How did I know her name while I never saw the wedding
announcement?
3. If Susan is 10, Arabella is 20, and Jim and Neal are both 5, but Richard
is 10, how much is Jennifer by the same system?
4. One four-letter word will fit on all 3 lines below, to make new word with
the word preceding and the word following ( example: IN [DOOR] BELL ).
The same word must be used for all 3 lines. What's it?
BACK _ _ _ _ SOME
FREE _ _ _ _ MADE
FORE _ _ _ _ BAG
5. Ann has the same number of sisters as she has brothers, but her brother
Bill has twice as many sisters as he has brothers. How many boys and how
many girls are in the family?
(Send your answers and the time you took to answer
to me, and see if you're a genius )
Sunday,Jan 27 2008, 10:24:16 AMSMART ANSWERS!
To My Little Angel Tinker Bell
Lady J@CKELYN
Lady Matavee
Lady Nody
Lady Rubina
Lady Black Hole
Lady Ionita
and Angel of Kuwait (I'm male)
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SMART ANSWERS
(From a young attendant)
A flight attendant, when asked by a passenger if he could smoke,
warned passengers on the flight to observe smoking regulations:
"Any body who lights up outside the desiganted area will be asked
to step outdoors."
(From a young man)
On the way home from work, Tom is stopped by an attractive
woman in a suggestive outfit. "For $100, I' ll do anything you ask
in three words or less," she whispered.
"Okay," agreed Tom, handing over the cash. "Paint my house!"
(From an old man)
A man was celebrating his 100th birthday, an a local television reporter
visited and interviewed him.
"Are you still able to get out and walk much sir?"
"Well, I certainly walk better today than I could a hundred years ago,"
he answered with a grin.
(From a girl - my friend)
That pretty friend of mine was sitting on a bench when I spotted her
in our public garden one cool afternoon.
I approached her from behind, blindfolded her with my palms and said,
"You have three time to guess who. If you say right, I will let go of you.
If you say wrong, you must let me kiss you three real big kisses!"
She answered without hesitation, "Bill Gates, Clint Eastwood, Bin Laden!"
(From a child - my brother)
When he was 6 years old, my little brother loved bananas too much,
so my mother didnt want to let him free to do his farorite eating whim.
One night, as we were sitting at the porch looking at the full moon,
little Bill asked "Mom, is God in the moon?"
Mom explained that God is eveywhere.
Bill seized the occasion.
"Is he in my tummy?"
"Well, sort of," Mom responded, seeming not sure where these questions
were leading.
Then Bill declared, "God wants a banana."
(and from God)
Ninety-year-old Sam is a pious widower. One day, he met a widow half his age.
Sam bouht a hair piece, had a face lift and worked out at the gym for months.
Then he took her to dinner one beautiful evning, but as they got out of his
sports car, Sam was struck by lightning and died.
At the Gate of Heavens, he ran up to God and asked, "Why me?"
"Oh Sam," replied God. "I didn't recognize you!"
Saturday,Jan 19 2008, 05:48:54 PMSome Jokes
To my Sisters : Chris and Pinky
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Sleep and Sleeping-pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to his doctor,
who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and awake before he heard
the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said
to his boss: " I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."
"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"
*****
Hero
My seven year-old niece's Special English Class was asked to write about
their personal heroes. Her father was flattered to find out that she had
chosen him.
"Why did you pick me?" he asked happily.
"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.
*****
Mothers!
Going along with my sister May to pick up her son at his kindergarten,
I listened to her getting into a conversation with a group of parents.
One woman bragged that her son sat up alone at four months, crawled at
six months and was walking before his first birthday. She said, at 16 months,
he now is talking in full sentences. Turning to my sister May, she asked,
"Is your 16-month-old talking yet?"
"No, Yan doesn't say much," May replied. "He mainly writes things down
for me."
Saturday,Jan 19 2008, 04:52:21 PMCOUPLES !
Dedicated to Lady J@CKELYN
Lady matavee and Angel (I'm Male) of Kuwait
Lady nody and Lady Ionita
Two neighbors were talking. "I went to a wedding this weekend,"
said one, "but I don't think the marriage will last."
"Why not?" asked the other.
"Well, when the bride said 'I do', the groom said, 'Don't use that tone
of voice with me.'"
"Oh, Doctor, I'm so upset," said the woman. "My husband seems
to be wandering in his mind."
"Don't let that worry you," the doctor reply. " I know your husband
- he can't go far."
DIVORCE LAWYER: " I have succeded in making a settlement with
your husband that's completely fair to both of you."
CLIENT: "Fair to both of us! I could have done that myself! What do
you think I hired a lawyer for?"
The speaker at one Women's Club was lecturing on marriage and asked
the audience how many of them wanted to "mother" their husbands.
One member in the back row raised her hand.
"You do want to 'mother' your husband?" the speaker asked.
"Mother?" the woman echoed. "I thought you said 'smother'"
Tuesday,Jan 15 2008, 05:47:30 AMHow lovely are Ladies!
Dedicated to my Angel Tinker Bell
to J@CKELYN and matavee
One day, a woman came into the video shop where I worked
and searched the shelves for a long time. Then she told me,
"I'm looking for a particular movie, but I can't think of its name."
"I can look it up on the computer," I told her. "Can you remember
any part of the title?"
She thought for a moment then said, "Well, try ' The' " .