hidayu89's Homepage

hey guys....if u wanna c my new online...

Sat, 21 Aug 2004 01:11 EST

hey guys....if u wanna c my new online journal...do visit... http://galsmily.blogspot.com

hey....supz....i've returned from going 2...

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 10:32 EST

hey....supz....i've returned from going 2 pasir ris sec band investiture....it was great!!!!heard them play...co0ol!!~~~then afterwards,tot of going 2 alam'siber's bbq wif naqiah but she was upset coz she cannot contact her guy...so0o0 as a fren..we muz understand how tis affects her mo0od rite??no matter how much we wanna go, we have 2 b understanding 2wards other ppl's feelings.....wat the hell m i shitting about....had 2 restart tis blo0ody comp 4 like umpteen times n wat the fuck my sis spills 2 my dad when he was tokin 2 me....all tat crap of me chattin!!!wat crap!!???who the hell is she sia....WHO THE HELL!!!!!!!!y m i so0o pissed off???ahakz...crazy bitch....siao!!!:p...tml dunnoe if i can go 2 the blo0ody picnic....hope i can...hahakz....my hw still haven't touch...dunnoe when i will finish it....have 2 revise 4 common test....HAVE 2 PRACTICE!!!!!!arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!didi...where r u??wat the hell is gonna happen in my life???!!!!ppl around me all have their guys....wats happening 2 mine???!!!!!!if he wanna break it off ....say l0r....i can understand....but dun delay l0r....it hurts more like tat.....u already made me luv u....wat the heck....im loyal 2 u...dunnoe if u r 2 me l0r...ahakz....sianzzZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZz....it was bloody hurtful when u weren't home when icalled u on our anniversary.....but i understand if u were away coz u had 2 werk.....urghhhhhh......im like so0o0o0 pained wif all this pressure in life...ahakz.....SMILE!!!!!!!...:D...wat the hell....my mom told me i was making her life difficult...tot of committing suicide but its a sin n it'll create more trouble 4 my parents...ahakz....no really loved ppl 2 care 4 now....ahakz....juz got my make-believed plans 4 my future.....face it...reality is never happy,cheerful n all tat crap.....only tat im trying 2 build a wall of daydreams 2 heal my own battered self...ahakz...over-confident???siao???weird???cheerful???smart???serious???ahakz....i dun even noe wat im doing nowadays....hahaha....who m i???i think 2 much.....hmmm...do u think prison life is better....hmmm....dun think so0o...tok abt tat wif naqiah n zareena on fri,13th....but she crumbled my fantasy daydream of how comfy prison life wud b...ahakz....i cried when she said tat..stupid!!!!!....i noe wat the hell is reality...but can i face it wif a loadful of confidence???life is always an act...reality is ugly.....everything is real....happiness only happens in ur fantasies or if u force it 2 happen coz u really need it....n tat means its a lie...nvr real....freedom???wat the heck is tat...u never get freedom wherever u r...face it ya!!!!u r like being held on by sko0ol rules,hse rules,parents rules,the government law,werk rules,frenship rules.....ahaha...face it.....there r always rules n regulations...some r right smack in front of u...while others r hidden but yet u noe there will always b a limit 2 all these....wat the hell m i crapping....haiyer~~~~sianzzzzzzZzzzzz liao!!~~~tats all r.....better 4 u guys 2 read onli...if u wanna comment tats also a gd idea...:P

hmmm...hi...im sleepy rite now..ahakz...got...

Thu, 17 Jun 2004 20:06 EST

hmmm...hi...im sleepy rite now..ahakz...got 2gether wif didi yesterday...phew..i was lucky..met him thru msn...@ first he was kindda quiet...until i pestered him thoroughly..hehe....then we cleared the air...soo after tat i called him @ 10.45pm...talked till 12 am..ahaha..can say 20 mins..he had 2 wait 4 me...it was kindda scary coz my dad n sis was outside n they cud here every thing tat i said...i sang 4 didi...a ska song...ahakz...his cuzin...hakim..was k...he provided background music..ahakz..im meeting didi @ bishan again todae @ 2pm...hope niki n zareena can make it....i wonder if syaza wud like 2 go 2..:D..

i read his(didi)email juz now....he seemed...

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 20:59 EST

i read his(didi)email juz now....he seemed angry tat i waited 4 zareena's surprise(naqiah)tat coz me 2 b late....soo he asked me who was more important???!!!!gawd how should i noe??!! every1 is important 2 me....im a loyal fren.....im new 2 BGR...wat dya xpect from me....HE got 14 ex...i got ...2 b real....none...xcept 4 tat damned once!!!!ways wrong wif every1!!!@!!!he should understand wat....the most important thing next 2 my studies n life is FRENS!!!!B4 he came....n nowadays...i can't even c him online since my bro is always using the comp!!!!!!f**k him r!!!!shit!!!y m i sooo angry wif 1 damned mail!@!@!n f**k!! im hammering on the poor keyboard.....i wonder if we need 2 repair it later....sianzzZZzzzzzzugh watever r...im gonna chat @ irc n hope my mood will b ok later/.......fcuk tis goddamned world!!!!!

hey...kindda moody todae coz when i went up...

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 08:13 EST

hey...kindda moody todae coz when i went up 2 bishan...2 meet didi..i was late 4 15 mins..i tot i saw a glimpse of him..but when i looked 4 him..he wasn't there..soo..im a bit dwn..when i called his hse..his mom answered...i asked his mom 2 tell him 2 call back zareena's hp..if he returned home...but then ...his mom told me kindly tat i should ask her of a favour politely....hell..i dunnoe tat i was impolite..i didn't mean it...i'm not usually like tat...*sigh*..damned...i've taken a dozen courses gotta do wif etiquette n speech n public relations...hell!! where did it all disappear....haiXXXX...i was mad @ myself 4 being stupid...i've lost all my confidence now...sianZZz...n im no longer self-assured...why??!!WHY!!!...i dunnoe r...im stupid sia...its no wonder if his mom doesn't like me...or he himself dislike me...i deserve it...didi doesn't deserve an impolite,blur, not confident gerl like me.....he deserve some1 better 2 take care of him...n no else should deserve me...im undeserving of luv, care, concern n especially respect....haiXXX...wats wrong wif me....i can't even 4get the 3 ppl i luv....syaza,farhan n didi....wats wrong wif me....im sorry didi..im sorry bcoz of the way i spoke 2 ur mom...it wasn't on purpose...im not always like tat...i dunnoe wats wrong wif me...i hope u'll gimme another chance..coz i think im falling in luv wif u...although its slowly...but its there.....:(...i dun feel right now...i dunnoe anything anymore....gawd!! how i miss u already....it was a damned bad impression i made on ur mom 4 the first time...SHIT!!!!...damned!!!f**k tis suay day...

hehehehehehe....todae im soo happy coz i...

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 12:20 EST

hehehehehehe....todae im soo happy coz i stead with ishadi or didi.....he's 17,takin n's tis yr...o's next yr wif me..:D...he lives @ bishann i mizz him already..met him @ anakmelayu...n we r gonna meet 4 the 1st time tis mon...haiXX..can't wait....im calling him papa...:D..haizzz..dunnoe if i can slp or not...ahaha

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wassup!!todae i have no religious skool...soo

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 01:34 EST

wassup!!todae i have no religious skool...soo im free....yeah man!!...shit!!..i juz noticed the time n tat i had juz missed my fav. chi. cartoon....haizz...sianzz....but still....i have the whole day..muahahaha...yesterday @ zareena's hse...i had n emmotional breakdwn...scary sia....haiya..tis days i feel soo insecure ...dunnoe wats happenin...soo lonely now.....found out syaza was ma 1st luv...haiya...still hurt....tot abt farhan though....missing him rite now....but he's juz a fren rite...sooo who cares....*shrugs*

k r.. i dun wanna cry...cried enuff yesterday until ma eyes feel swollen...wakakakakaa

hi...i've juz returned from beautiful...

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 10:09 EST

hi...i've juz returned from beautiful australia yester day n now i've juz returned from zareena's hse...haiX...soo tired...sleepy....dunnoe wat 2 sae...xcept tat 2dae...zareena stead wif some1 n im happy 4 her

but then it hit me....im lonely...hiaXX

hi ppl!!!...ur dear hidayu here is in...

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 17:29 EST

hi ppl!!!...ur dear hidayu here is in australia rite now...in cairns 2 b specific...n todae is the day im returnin 2 s'pore...haiX...i wanted 2 stay here longer...wow!!..it's a great place..i go n "cuci mata" here...hahahax...all the guys i've seen were gd-lookinng...sigh...wish i had a guy here...it'll b cool...;)...i've been here since last sat...n i'll really miss the food here....talk bout food...i think im gonna get fat...ahakz....dun really miss s'pore much...hehehe...well....mayb a bit...:P....i really had a great time staying wif mark,isla n my van helsing....tim...*sigh*..soo cute...:P.....@ munggalli falls on the first day...but i had a great time visiting hubmer's cattle farm n met max..he's a gd guy...n god...the animals...hehe..cute!!!!..n i went snorkelling @ fitzroy island n i saw the great barrier reef...it was spectacular!!!!!!!!n the guide,peter,was cute 2..:P...saw the werewolf there...coz of his very long sideburns...n with/wo them...he'll still look great...haizzzz...im infatuated wif them...kk lah..i think im gonna go day dream bout them...cya mate!!n have a gd'day..;)

yea2!!!...got my damned report bk todae...aha

Fri, 28 May 2004 05:10 EST

yea2!!!...got my damned report bk todae...ahaha...got 17 in my class n 22 for standard...stupid sia...ahahahha....feelin dwn todae...kindda daydreamin a lot...haiX...we had 2 collect newspapers n old clothes from ppl's blks todae...sianz...my blk onli got 4 floors..stupid liao...hmm...had 2 collect my report bk from the skool library coz i haven't returned the library bk...i returned already sia...librarian dunnoe how 2 check..f**k them r...waited 4 half an hr sia...must q sommore...basket...ahahaha...tats all..oh ya...my bro coming home tonite n my religious skool's xms starts tml...hhahaha..haven't study sia...

i was suppossed 2 meet him tml...but he had...

Thu, 27 May 2004 07:05 EST

i was suppossed 2 meet him tml...but he had 2 cancel it since he had 2 go johore...im fine wif it ..i really am..but y do i feel like hating him???!!!it gives me all the pain in a rush.. i hate it..making me soo xcited 4 it n in the end...oculdn't make it...haiX

hey...hmm....i failed my a maths 4 ma xms...

Wed, 26 May 2004 04:34 EST

hey...hmm....i failed my a maths 4 ma xms which is of no surprise...

found out i had fallen in luv wif ma ffren n didn't noe it till i lose her...yes HER!!...dun b afraid coz im over the idea of me being a les LAST TIME!!!

now..i kindda like tis guy...I WON"T SAY WHO....:P....

ok..tat's all folks

hey...todae kinda bit bored..went thru..the...

Wed, 19 May 2004 10:11 EST

hey...todae kinda bit bored..went thru..the xm papers....sianz...n then, did some damned filing...hope nothin boring tml or else...im gonna sleep in their class..zzzzzzzzzz....:O...yawnz...sleepy sia...found out tat 1 of my gd frens has the behaviour of a whirlwind....haiX..i hate tat tiny pang of jealousy...wif her bez fren, classmates n schoolmates...sad sia...ok ah...dun wanna tok much...later lose energy..nitez

hmmm...my mid-yr xms..hahahaha...funny sia..i

Tue, 18 May 2004 11:16 EST

hmmm...my mid-yr xms..hahahaha...funny sia..i xpected 2 fail...turned out ...i failed 3...physics, a n e maths...hahaha...funny thing was i top in my class 4 geog...funny sia coz i never study 1 whole chap. of tourism when 25 marks is b'coz of tourism...got A2 somemore...onli me sia...funny sia...hahahahahaha...:Dk ah..not bad..hope i can improve on maths...sianz...k ah..ciaoz!!!

hey....kinda boring todae..thought i was...

Sun, 16 May 2004 09:17 EST

hey....kinda boring todae..thought i was gonna go out wif ma fren but didn't get 2 confirm wif him yesterday...soo..i didn't go out todae..sianzz..didn't go out wif my other frens too since they were either out wif their guys or they had other plans...haiX..bored sia...tml got skool then got religious class then a whole damn tiring day @ home...sigh..dunnoe wat 2 do...