Journals
Saturday,Aug 21 2004, 06:11:44 AMhey guys....if u wanna c my new online...
hey guys....if u wanna c my new online journal...do visit... http://galsmily.blogspot.com
Saturday,Aug 14 2004, 03:32:16 PMhey....supz....i've returned from going 2...
hey....supz....i've returned from going 2 pasir ris sec band investiture....it was great!!!!heard them play...co0ol!!~~~then afterwards,tot of going 2 alam'siber's bbq wif naqiah but she was upset coz she cannot contact her guy...so0o0 as a fren..we muz understand how tis affects her mo0od rite??no matter how much we wanna go, we have 2 b understanding 2wards other ppl's feelings.....wat the hell m i shitting about....had 2 restart tis blo0ody comp 4 like umpteen times n wat the fuck my sis spills 2 my dad when he was tokin 2 me....all tat crap of me chattin!!!wat crap!!???who the hell is she sia....WHO THE HELL!!!!!!!!y m i so0o pissed off???ahakz...crazy bitch....siao!!!:p...tml dunnoe if i can go 2 the blo0ody picnic....hope i can...hahakz....my hw still haven't touch...dunnoe when i will finish it....have 2 revise 4 common test....HAVE 2 PRACTICE!!!!!!arghhhhhhhh!!!!!!didi...where r u??wat the hell is gonna happen in my life???!!!!ppl around me all have their guys....wats happening 2 mine???!!!!!!if he wanna break it off ....say l0r....i can understand....but dun delay l0r....it hurts more like tat.....u already made me luv u....wat the heck....im loyal 2 u...dunnoe if u r 2 me l0r...ahakz....sianzzZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZz....it was bloody hurtful when u weren't home when icalled u on our anniversary.....but i understand if u were away coz u had 2 werk.....urghhhhhh......im like so0o0o0 pained wif all this pressure in life...ahakz.....SMILE!!!!!!!...:D...wat the hell....my mom told me i was making her life difficult...tot of committing suicide but its a sin n it'll create more trouble 4 my parents...ahakz....no really loved ppl 2 care 4 now....ahakz....juz got my make-believed plans 4 my future.....face it...reality is never happy,cheerful n all tat crap.....only tat im trying 2 build a wall of daydreams 2 heal my own battered self...ahakz...over-confident???siao???weird???cheerful???smart???serious???ahakz....i dun even noe wat im doing nowadays....hahaha....who m i???i think 2 much.....hmmm...do u think prison life is better....hmmm....dun think so0o...tok abt tat wif naqiah n zareena on fri,13th....but she crumbled my fantasy daydream of how comfy prison life wud b...ahakz....i cried when she said tat..stupid!!!!!....i noe wat the hell is reality...but can i face it wif a loadful of confidence???life is always an act...reality is ugly.....everything is real....happiness only happens in ur fantasies or if u force it 2 happen coz u really need it....n tat means its a lie...nvr real....freedom???wat the heck is tat...u never get freedom wherever u r...face it ya!!!!u r like being held on by sko0ol rules,hse rules,parents rules,the government law,werk rules,frenship rules.....ahaha...face it.....there r always rules n regulations...some r right smack in front of u...while others r hidden but yet u noe there will always b a limit 2 all these....wat the hell m i crapping....haiyer~~~~sianzzzzzzZzzzzz liao!!~~~tats all r.....better 4 u guys 2 read onli...if u wanna comment tats also a gd idea...:P
Friday,Jun 18 2004, 01:06:42 AMhmmm...hi...im sleepy rite now..ahakz...got...
hmmm...hi...im sleepy rite now..ahakz...got 2gether wif didi yesterday...phew..i was lucky..met him thru msn...@ first he was kindda quiet...until i pestered him thoroughly..hehe....then we cleared the air...soo after tat i called him @ 10.45pm...talked till 12 am..ahaha..can say 20 mins..he had 2 wait 4 me...it was kindda scary coz my dad n sis was outside n they cud here every thing tat i said...i sang 4 didi...a ska song...ahakz...his cuzin...hakim..was k...he provided background music..ahakz..im meeting didi @ bishan again todae @ 2pm...hope niki n zareena can make it....i wonder if syaza wud like 2 go 2..:D..
Thursday,Jun 17 2004, 01:59:27 AMi read his(didi)email juz now....he seemed...
i read his(didi)email juz now....he seemed angry tat i waited 4 zareena's surprise(naqiah)tat coz me 2 b late....soo he asked me who was more important???!!!!gawd how should i noe??!! every1 is important 2 me....im a loyal fren.....im new 2 BGR...wat dya xpect from me....HE got 14 ex...i got ...2 b real....none...xcept 4 tat damned once!!!!ways wrong wif every1!!!@!!!he should understand wat....the most important thing next 2 my studies n life is FRENS!!!!B4 he came....n nowadays...i can't even c him online since my bro is always using the comp!!!!!!f**k him r!!!!shit!!!y m i sooo angry wif 1 damned mail!@!@!n f**k!! im hammering on the poor keyboard.....i wonder if we need 2 repair it later....sianzzZZzzzzzzugh watever r...im gonna chat @ irc n hope my mood will b ok later/.......fcuk tis goddamned world!!!!!
Monday,Jun 14 2004, 01:13:47 PMhey...kindda moody todae coz when i went up...
hey...kindda moody todae coz when i went up 2 bishan...2 meet didi..i was late 4 15 mins..i tot i saw a glimpse of him..but when i looked 4 him..he wasn't there..soo..im a bit dwn..when i called his hse..his mom answered...i asked his mom 2 tell him 2 call back zareena's hp..if he returned home...but then ...his mom told me kindly tat i should ask her of a favour politely....hell..i dunnoe tat i was impolite..i didn't mean it...i'm not usually like tat...*sigh*..damned...i've taken a dozen courses gotta do wif etiquette n speech n public relations...hell!! where did it all disappear....haiXXXX...i was mad @ myself 4 being stupid...i've lost all my confidence now...sianZZz...n im no longer self-assured...why??!!WHY!!!...i dunnoe r...im stupid sia...its no wonder if his mom doesn't like me...or he himself dislike me...i deserve it...didi doesn't deserve an impolite,blur, not confident gerl like me.....he deserve some1 better 2 take care of him...n no else should deserve me...im undeserving of luv, care, concern n especially respect....haiXXX...wats wrong wif me....i can't even 4get the 3 ppl i luv....syaza,farhan n didi....wats wrong wif me....im sorry didi..im sorry bcoz of the way i spoke 2 ur mom...it wasn't on purpose...im not always like tat...i dunnoe wats wrong wif me...i hope u'll gimme another chance..coz i think im falling in luv wif u...although its slowly...but its there.....:(...i dun feel right now...i dunnoe anything anymore....gawd!! how i miss u already....it was a damned bad impression i made on ur mom 4 the first time...SHIT!!!!...damned!!!f**k tis suay day...