Sunday,Feb 27 2005, 12:52:52 PManu b yan!potah!...anung petsa na!?magparamda

anu b yan!potah!...anung petsa na!?magparamdam k naman amp!may cell nga wala n namang battery..kaya nga binigyan ng charger ei...kung gusto may paraan..kung ayaw may dahilan...punyeta!

 

Saturday,Feb 26 2005, 09:21:54 AMa teenager's dilemma...cont That night he...

a teenager's dilemma...cont

 

That night he had been asking this favor that we make love. I don't think that it is such a good idea since I am pregnant. He still insisted to do so. He said that not just because I'm going to be a mom doesn't mean that we have to ruin our once active sex life. We were being mushy when he suddenly acted as if he remembered something. He went to the kitchen and got off those tablets which he said are medications for my ulcer. I was in the midst of doubt. The tablets doesn’t look familiar. I haven’t seen it before.  Doubting as I may seem, I swallowed 3 of those. We were kissing and petting each other when I became uncomfortable on what he was doing. I don’t know what it is but it gave me a terrible pain as he was putting some pebble-like stuff in the innermost part of my sensitive body. I can still feel it. There’s four of it inside my womb. I began to cry because it hurts a lot. I asked him what was that about but he tend to be speechless. He kissed my head and suddenly stopped. He told me that he'll be sleeping with me tonight and watch me to make sure everything is all right. I became suspicious. Why all of a sudden he would spend the night with me and guard me for no reason at all?

            Few hours have passed. He kept on looking on his watch. It seems like he’s agitated for some reason. It’s already 1:00 or so. He got off the bed and I heard him say "It's about time." Few moments later I began to feel terribly ill. My stomach starts to ache as if I ate something that would make it rumble. I also felt that I want to piss off some body fluids. I tried to get up without his help. I began to be terrified as I see blood rushing down my legs. I am so trembled upon realizing that my baby could’ve might have been affected. I am so scared and I tend to scream loudly not keeping in mind that my brother could be awake for such action. He put his hand on my mouth to prevent me for doing so. I cry in horror as he calmly hug me and saying that everything will be all right. Later, the bleeding stopped. But I became so weak that I can't afford to stand alone. He aided me and carried me all the way to the bed. I look at my hand and it was pale. I told him to get me to a doctor immediately but he told me that it's not needed anymore because I could get my strength back later, I just need some rest. I felt weak and still trembling until he reluctantly confessed something. The medicines he made me took a while ago where not my usual ulcer medications. I heard that the name was cytotec. I began to be frightened and hatred overcomes me. I've seen that on TV documentaries that it can cause baby abortion. Did he really mean to do it!? I want to hurt him or slap him but I just can't, I don't have enough strength to avenge his frustrated detraction for my baby. He said that he has been thinking about it for such a long time and realized that we were both not ready for anything. He even told me that it’s be the biggest favor he have done for both of us. I almost ran out of blood, is that a help!? I'm not asking any favor to anyone to kill me or my child. Helpless as I am, I can feel another set of discharging blood. But this is different. This is much painful from the first one. I can feel blocks of it coming out. He, himself was shocked by what he saw. The bleeding stopped once more and he showed me those blood cloths. What else can I do but mourn. I know that was the baby I've been taking care of for how many weeks. My vision became blurry as I slowly became unconscious.

 

APRIL 2003

            Days have passed I haven't heard anything from him. Each and every passing night, I cry myself to sleep. I am guilty. I shouldn't have trusted him. I shouldn't have let him take my child away from me. I wasn't able to go to school because of this. I felt pity for the tiny soul that I've been waiting to come out all along. He wasn't there for me anymore. I feel anger, angst. I want to retaliate but how? I have no one beside me to console my poor spirit. I don't have anyone to talk to and afraid to confess everything even to my best friend. I am alone. I'm hearing my baby cry as I sleep or even if I'm awake. My conscience has been bugging me all through out. All I can do is to ask forgiveness to the Almighty for what happened. I can take it no longer! As I watch myself agonize for my beloved in front of the mirror I remembered what I once oath to myself, that I'm better off dead if I can't have this baby. Yes! that's it. Maybe it will end all the pain I've been suffering. Maybe this is the best solution for the problem that I cannot face bravely. If I don’t gasp for air anymore then things will all be over for me and I don't have to experience the grief of losing someone who's already been a very big part of me. This could have been the answer so that I would not have the need to talk to somebody anymore just to let out this agony. I want to end this all for once. I ran downstairs, looking for something that could be used as a material for carrying out my conspiracy. If I were to use a sharp object, I would just scream and people would have idea of what was going on inside our house. A gun would probably be the best! I know my dad has one in their room somewhere. But I can't seem to find it.

 

             I am desperate to end life this worthless life of mine! I would do anything just not to ordeal such scruples-bugging and anguish. I don't want to weep every night and thinking of what might have been. Troubled as I am, I touched my throat and then felt the necklace that my brother gave me. My eyes widened as I thought of something that would help me to push my plans through. Where the heck are the ropes we have in here!? We used to have a lot of ropes lying around here somewhere. I got tired of searching. I noticed a black wire at the back of my hamper. At the end of it was the unused computer controller. Desperate enough, I've tried my luck. I twisted the wire at my neck three times as I walk to the verandah of our stairs. I plan to hook the controller on the some part of it, and so I did. I looked down on our first floor and thought that this would be the end of my suffering here on earth. I don't know which place I will be after this but for all I care is that I don't have to be a walking-wretched girl. I prayed as I'm setting myself to have my last breath. I'm sorry mom and dad for doing this. I've been such a bad daughter and though it might have caused you pain knowing that I committed suicide, it would have been better if I not live at all because of the misdemeanor I have done to you and to God. I let myself free as I flew of the stairs with the wire still tied around my neck. For a moment, I felt as light as a breeze. But it didn't last long. I started to strangle. This would not probably the right time to back out. I begin to see red. Those were the blood on my eyes as they began to compress and stop flowing on my neck. For the last time, I thought, then I cried. Tears are for the people I've hurt and the people who would be hurt as I slowly die. I started to lose vision, when suddenly I fell on the ground! The verandah is way too high from our first floor. I coughed out and catch my breath. Although my body is quite numb, I can tell that I was hurt from that plummet. Why did I fell off!? The wire didn't hold my weight so it snapped. Does this mean that it's not yet my time to die? But why do God still wanted me to live? To suffer? To let me experience the consequence of having my own flesh aborted? This life is not worth living anymore and I can’t simply go on like this.

 

MAY 2003

            With the help of my cousins I was able to move on for a while and somehow bring back my normal life. It has been a month or so after the incident but I still haven't had my regular period yet. It's about time that my boyfriend called and asked me how am I doing. I told him that I haven’t had my monthly period yet. He became frightened. He suddenly took off and for all I know he went here as fast as he could. He picked me up so we can go to the cheapest OB-gyne. I was shocked from the results given.  I'm still pregnant and it's already 4 1/2 months. How can it be? Isn't that I already had miscarriage in that bloody incident? I can hardly believe it. But the thing is, the baby is not as healthy as it should be. The doctor said that it could some defects upon birth since I have taken unnecessary drugs. One of these would be the abnormality function of the heartbeat. It melted my heart away upon hearing these words. Maybe this is the reason why God made me live up to this date.

  

JUNE 2003

            We have been arguing a lot. He's not the same guy I fell in love with. He became more violent and more provoked to physically hurt me than before. He said that this child gave him a lot of troubles and worries and he would get rid of it at all cost. The next day, we went to the same church we used to go to. I was praying that somehow, God would give me strength to surpass all the problems I have been encountering. God gave me this gift and I need help so that I can take care of it constantly and guidance for me to be a good mother. Nonetheless, I want my baby to be born normally as much as possible. I asked forgiveness for all my wrong doings and hoping that he would not suffer the consequences of what I did. After I said my sincerest prayer, I looked for him but he was no where in sight. I began to feel afraid, once more. What if he bought the same medication and make me take it no matter what? I can't afford to lose my baby again. I searched for him everywhere. Luckily, he was easy to find because of his obvious height. I saw him trading money with such vendors and I know that he bought that same medicine he used to give me. I tried to look away as he came near, pretending I didn't saw anything. He gave me flowers as a decoy for his deal of the cytotec with the merchant. He would not fool me this time.

            We just had our dinner. He was kissing and hugging me as if he’s the sweetest guy ever. I doubt it. This is not him. I have this suspicion that he would do the same trick again since he seriously told me the other day that he would do anything just to see this baby perish. As a mother, I’m ready to fight for my young even if I place me at a great risk. He was happily watching a movie as I tend to be vigilant with his every move. I already took all the prescribed medicines so that he would not have any alibi that I have to take anything from him. I’m still thinking of a tactic just to bring around the horses when he suddenly stopped the movie. I was shocked and became hesitated. Was it possible that he read my mind and he already knew that I have an idea about his plan? Maybe he doesn’t. But on the other hand, maybe he does.

            Strong fully, he held my arms dragging me down to the bedroom. This is it. I have to defend for my right and the right of my baby. The way he held my hand seems so painful, but I have to keep on fighting. I’m not the same girl anymore. This time, violence begets violence. I tried to hold anything I can that would serve as my weapon. But it became useless. What’s the use of doing this against a 6 foot man who is thrice as much stronger than me?  He gave me another one of those numbing slap on my face. I knew it was coming, but why didn’t I dodge it? I got nothing to do but cry helplessly hoping that he would suddenly become soft-hearted not to push through with his plans. It still didn’t work. He really is decided to hurt me and take off the baby out of my womb. I cried for help, hoping that someone could me. But it just resulted to a more ferocious action. He punched my tummy and that weaken the hell out of me. Although I want to defend myself, I just can’t.  He opened the foil and mercilessly made me swallow it. This time it was six of those tablets again. I punched him with all my might. He backed off for a while as I tried to crawl and escape. He got my shirt and it tore apart. That torn piece of material became his instrument to tie my hands at my back so that I would not be able to get even against him. He was forcing me to take off my underpants so that he can effortlessly do his plans. As he was doing so, he kept on explaining that this is for our own good. We would not only benefit here but the child as well. We can still make another of our own but this is not yet the right time, but when?

I’m yelling my own reason. If he does not want it in the first place, why did it take him so long to make this kind of plan? The blood has already formed life and this is technically aborting it. To my surprise he said: “I just let you did what you want to do and made you experience it. When I realized that it’s about time to get rid of the baby I did everything I can so that we can have our dreams, our aspirations, and our future together till we are both ready.” Didn’t he understand it? Maybe for him, this child is just a nuisance. But for me, this has been my life, my every thing. He took advantage of my weak and still weakening body.  It is as if I have been raped by some one whom I have never known or even met before. I tried to be defensive as I could, but he executed his plans smoothly. He placed another six of those tablets into my body as he did before. There’s nothing left for me to do but to hope that it is a fake tablet like the first ones he bought.

            He didn’t let me out of sight as we both listened for the tick-tock of the clock. One hour has passed and it feels like the medicine took effect sooner than I thought. My stomach began to rumble once more.  I even puked so many times. I’ve been in and out of the bathroom for no significant reason until what he was expecting finally began. I went to the bathroom for the last time. I cannot take such pain from my womanhood. A lot more blood rush down and the beige floor became all red in such a short time. A heavy feeling came upon me. Everything seems to turn upside down. I felt so woozy and all my strength was already drained. Shocked in horror, I saw big pile of blood coming out of me. Then there was my precious one. Slowly, I see every part of him gradually appearing at my bottom. Bit by bit, it became visible. As its legs came out I couldn’t help but stare at it fearfully. Its tiny hinds were all that I have seen so far but the pain I feel is so indescribable. I tried to do push this petite being with all my might. It would lessen the pain for me and for him as well. I want to end this as soon as possible. His midgit body began to show up. No more tears to cry, just soundless utter of words of how sorry I am. His tiny hands and arms began to outset up to his neck. It was hanging from my body. I can take this no longer. I want him to let lose out my body as fast as it can be. Without thinking twice I hold his tiny body so that it would just go out soon. I don’t know what happened next but for all I care is that I tore off its minuscule body apart from its head. I was trembling in horror as I bathe myself with my own blood and shocked by the whole ambiance of the bathroom. My silent cry is all that I can hear.  This ended it all. The drops of water from the faucet suddenly became a harsh noise in my ear. I want to get out of this mess, I want to clean myself but I simply just can’t. I drained down to my lowest low. I can’t bear to look at my cruelty. I don’t even want to touch any part of that helpless being that just went out of my system.

            He opened the door and anxious by what he saw. He aided me in getting up and cleansed my body. I am no different now from any other merciless murderer roaming around this society.

 

JULY 2003

            It has been 3 days after the contingency, most horrifying of all. But I tried to move and get on with my life. Though I’ve been thinking about it the past few days, I’m trying so hard not to cry for it would beget me much more pain. Wherever my baby is now, I know that he’s better off be there than suffer the remorseful world of reality that we still cannot feed him by our own hands and even be a good parent as well. These thoughts came up as I was about to go home and ride the bus. When I was near enough, I felt the same feeling I had when I got blood-drained. I hurried to the nearest bus available and sat at the three-seated row at the most back part. Good thing it’s not yet rush hour  so I comfortably sat on it. After a few moments later, I felt wet on my seat. I slowly tilt my head back to see what is that feeling about. My whole body started to shake as I saw the sofa-like bus couch gradually turn to red. Good thing I was wearing a black pants and the next block is where I should be. I don’t care if people notice my hesitation to walk. I began to feel dizzy as I have this condition and the heat of the sun made it more terrible for me. I can’t amble alone anymore. My body is still weak from the incident; consequently I don’t have enough strength to walk further.  I now began to feel again that something is coming out of me. I suddenly remembered all the awful things that happened 3 days before. I remembered that I tore of the body as I want to end the agony so soon. Is it possible that this thing which is coming right out of me now is what was left? I then approached this old lady to help me in my catastrophe. It is already coming out and I can’t walk straight forwardly for it is too big to be intertwined behind my legs. The old lady asked questions which I cannot answer. She accompanied me to the nearest hospital and helped me with all my needs. But it is now useless. As the doctors tear of my clothes, I began to realize that I would not make it anymore. There was too much blood loss and blood poison too, I heard the doctor say. They were trying hard to revive me but it is already my own will to surrender my body and give up whatever strength I have left. I prayed silently to God to take me away as a consequence for the things I did that caused the life of one helpless soul. At my remaining vigor, I told the doctor to call my mom and dad and tell them how sorry I am.

            If this is the way God would punish me, then so be it. Maybe I may be able to be with my angel for eternity. I then remembered my oath once more...I will keep the baby or I’m better off breathless

Tuesday,Feb 22 2005, 04:04:34 PMa teenager's dilemma Wednesday, 8 December...

a teenager's dilemma
Wednesday, 8 December 2004 3:57 AM

Night after night scary figures have been taunting me. I'm seeing things that I never ought to see. An endless tunnel of darkness where I've been running all through out. I'm tired yet scared, so I have to get going. "Mommy.." There was that voice again. Who is it? Where is it coming from? I ran once more. Out of fatigue, I tripped and stumbled. I must have hit my head hard. Blurry was my vision until a life form suddenly took shape. He was in all white and the light behind him was so bright that my eyes can't bear to look at. He was reaching for my hand, so am I. When it happened that we reached one another, blood crawled all over his body. "Don't let them take me!" I suddenly woke up. I'm sweating-cold and my hands are shaking. I tried to catch my breath. Another one of those countless bloody dreams that haunts me every night. But it always seem so real.

JANUARY 2003
Two years have passed since I became committed to this guy. He is my all, my everything. We've been together for a long time now so I can't say "NO" to him this time.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked. His smirk was the only response he gave me.
"I think this will work because few of my friends tried this technique before. We could use a little counting. Besides, there's always the old-fashioned way." I'm doubting it. How come that such method would be so certain that we cannot make one? Anyway, I trust him with whatever I have and with all that I am.
We then came upon to share this intimate feeling we have for each other. It was one of the most wonderful times of my life, very special indeed. I suddenly became united with this guy I love since high school. I felt the serenity from his tender embraces as he kept on saying endless "I love you's." Every kiss is passionate. Every time our eyes catch one another's makes me want to surrender my soul to this guy that I have loved more than anybody else. Yes, it was love. Back then, I don't care about any other thought. All I want is to be with him forever.

MARCH 2003
Shattered glasses are everywhere. I'm at the corner, afraid to make even the tiniest move possible. His eyes are flaming red but I can still read by his moves that he is confused.
"We can't have that! I'm too young to take such responsibility! I am still eager to fulfill my dream as a varsity player for the school, to be a basketball star! I love you, yes I do, you have nothing to doubt about it, but I'm not yet ready to settle down as of now. We have to get rid of that somehow." I don't know what went into me to suddenly throw the vase that almost hit his head.
"And what about me!? Don't you think I don’t consider this as a very serious concern? I have dreams and goals of my own! We both wanted this to happen! If you don't want this baby, I'm still keeping it with or without your help!"
No more words to utter. I just felt the warmth of his hand slapped on my face. It was too quick. We were both motionless for a while. I was shocked as if it was the first time he did this to me.
"Honey, I'm so sorry" After each and every physical pain he gives me, I'm hearing it again and again. I should be numb and get used to it after all though those times. At these moments I tend to realize how stupid I am, loving such beast. I am full of angst and I want to cry it out loud, but there's nothing more I could do than to shut my mouth and feel the flow of running tears on my cheek as they endlessly fall on the floor. If I were to say a thing or two, he would probably beat me just the way he used to do.
"I didn't mean to, it's just that…" Yes, I forgot it's always unintended. He then hugged me as if nothing coercive just happened. But that embrace is all that it takes to make my anger vanish in just split second.
"Tomorrow I'll go with you and confirm whatever it is that you have right now."

We went to the doctor the next day. I haven't thought that I would feel such chills and excitement upon seeing a living creature inside my womb. Though I already know that I'm positive from the home pregnancy test I took, it's still different unmistakably knowing that it moves inside me. Amazed and surprised as I might have been, I still don't know what emotion should overcome me that time. I want to break down. I want to burst into tears but I just can't. I'm still speechless as I stare at the screen not minding what the doctor is discussing about my current condition. The doctor, suddenly halt the conversation. I then noticed that there are already warm tears gushing down my cheeks. Did she realize that this innocent tot is not planned at all? She handed me the print out of what I was watching before. No more uttered words to say but “good luck.” I guess luck is not what I need as of now. What is necessary is a righteous wisdom to make a good decision on what to do next about this dilemma.
He was waiting in the car. He saw me coming so he opened the door to let me in. I showed him everything that the doctor gave me. Another set of warm tears fell from my distressed eyes as I hug him, which I needed badly, enough to console all the troubles that nests in me.
On our way home, we seriously talked about it till we decided to keep it. Or maybe the right term should be "I insisted." If this baby is to be disposed of, then I'm better off dead. It really did scare the hell out of him. He knew that I'm talking earnestly and my eyes, exhibits the raging emotions out of me. He said that I'm he's life, someone he can't afford to lose. He paved way for my decision this time. Whatever makes me happy, he would be happy twice as much.

Days passed and we started to draw plans together, not only for our unborn toddler, but on our future as a couple and parents as well. But all though out those talks, he tend to change the topic when I'm beginning to ask about his plans on how to tell this matter to my parents after they have their six months vacation in the USA. I guess he's already trying to figure it out himself so I tried not to bug him about it at all.

It has been more than two months now that this God’s wonderful gift resides within me. All through out, he was very supportive. He has been giving me all the things that I needed as a sensitive person in such condition. All the foods I asked, the supplements and everything. He can even understand my tantrums. Above all this, he even accompanied me buying some tiny clothing for our unseen baby. I was just somehow troubled in one thing. Every other day, his cousin, a nursing practicum, comes here and visits me. But we were not that close though. And every time she does, she had been injecting medications on me which makes me feel dizzy afterwards. She said that it is one of the essentials that a pregnant woman should have. She herself does the same since we were both of the same condition. I didn't have any room for doubt since she knows more than I do.
Each passing night and day is always magnificent. No hour would pass that I would not hold my tummy as I intensely feel his movement inside. I read books and listen to good music because I know he hears the same thing that I do. I believe that although they are still inside, they already can understand the things that people around him would say. It never fails that I tell my baby how much me and his daddy loves him and we cant wait to see him soon. There's nothing in this world that could hinder me from loving my little one. Every single day is always a precious bonding between the two of us. I already accepted the reality that I am going to be a mom.

It was an early Wednesday morning and I was surprised to get a call from him at that time. What's more astonishing is that he invited me to go to the church since many devotees will be there. I was blissful for such call. I thought that it would be the start of our maturity both emotionally and spiritually.
I tried to look for a place where we can sit on. As I was praying, I noticed that he is not at his own ease. After the mass, we went to the sidewalk instead of the usual parking spot. I was wondering what we were doing in a store of carved woods imaged as God? A rugged man in black shirt, looked aged, approached him then he began to whisper. I thought he truly know this guy to act such. We waited for several minutes until this old chap came back. He hesitantly handled a pack of foil to my boyfriend in exchange for thousand bucks. As we went to the car, I asked him what was it all about but he never answered. I've asked the same question over and over again until he became annoyed and yelled at me. I've seen that face before. It was the face he had been showing me whenever he is in confusion, in angst, in resentment.

Tuesday,Feb 22 2005, 04:03:02 PMThursday, 16 December 2004 7:13 PM damn!..i...

Thursday, 16 December 2004 7:13 PM

damn!..i posted my story na teenger's dilemma dun sa bobongpinoy groups and i never expected that they think of my story as such. hihi! ********************************

whew! i cannot explain what iam feeling right now.. i just finished reading the story and.. i dunno.. i feel pity, i feel anger, i feel pain.. it is as if, i was the girl in the story. nope, it didnt happen to me or would want it to happen, and who on earth would want the same thing to happen to them? no one! oh well, its just i can feel the girl's agony, all the pain she endured and all the hurt she felt. this is a heart breaking story. i dunno.. whew! iam out of words...

"ysang antigo"

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one word.... LEXAPRO!!!!... thanks

"Koji Kabuto"

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ok, ang lupet ng kwento mo, although yung istorya ay medyo common kasi karaniwan ng nangyayari sa mga teens ngayon yan, pero ang isang bagay na nakapagpahanga sa akin sa composition mo e, yung choice ng words, at yung sequencing ng events, aaminin kong may talent ka sa pagsusulat, marami kasi akong kilalang writers na kung minsan ang gaganda ng ideas nila, pero pagsinusulat na nila biglang nawawala, bibihira kasi sa tao yung nagsasabay yung idea at talent, kahit common yung istorya, dahil magaling ang atake mo, di maiiwasan ng mambabasa ang tapusin ang kuwento kasi bawat part may inaabangan, aaminin kong di ako mahilig magbasa ng mga kuwento, at para sa aming di mahilig sa mga pocket books, novels at mga librong sangkatutak ang volume, madali kaming mairita kapag mahahaba babasahin, sa una, di talaga ako interesado, pero sinubukan ko na rin, wag ka, tinapos ko, galing!!! kala ko nga kinopya mo lang sa famous books yung mga wordings, nagustuhan ko rin yung approach mo, well you're the writer and i know you know what i mean. maniwala ka sa akin, ipagpatuloy mo ang pagsusulat at malayo ang mararating mo... congratulations... isa nga pala ako sa mga director ng plays dito sa university, kaya alam kong magaling ka...

"Anthony Ramos"

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yup yup tama si kabobong Anthony! magaling nga ang pagkakasulat. kahit may mga words na uncommon e madali pa ring intidihin. ako din nung una ayoko sana basahin kse sobrang haba, tpos judging the title, parang feeling ko nung una, ordinaryong kwento lang..or yung common stories lang ng mga teenagers na nag-engage sa pre marital sex.. pero di pala. yup, tinapos ko din basahin yung story. magaling kse ang pagkakasulat dahil u nag-aanticipate ang readers mo sa mga susunod na pangyayari. and ako, katulad ng sinabi ko nung una, bilang babae, naramdaman ko ang sakit na naramdaman ng character sa story. sobrang nadala ako sa story. hehe.. anyways, God bless sa iyong writing career! gawa ka pa ng madami.post mo ulit dito. mahilig akong magbasa eh. hehe.. =)

"ysang antigo"

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elow poh kabobo...xenxia kung d2 aq ngreply at nde q naipost ung reaction q...gusto q lng magpasalamat dhil sa pagshare mo sa amin ng teenager's dilemma...tunay ba un o fiction lng? ikaw b may gwa nun? nweiz, khit ano pa man un at kung ikaw man ang may gawa, saludo aq s iyo cze maganda ang pagkakagawa tsaka damang-dama namin ung storya...honestly, nung una akala q wla lng cze sobrang haba, kla q tulad lng ng ibang mga stories n nagkalat s net pro nung may mabasa aq n reaction tungkol d2 eh mdyo naintriga aq kya hinanap q cia ulit s inbox q...buti nman nkita q at presto, naging mganda ang gbi q nun after q mabasa...chige po un lng...keep up d gud work!...c",)™

"Anne Bernadette Bonita"

Tuesday,Feb 22 2005, 04:01:35 PMFriday, 15 October 2004 11:18 PM feeling the...

Friday, 15 October 2004 11:18 PM

feeling the air, staring at they skies

do you not hear my hearfelt cries?

below these heavely bodies,here about

do you not sense my fear and doubt?

my tears are flowing more than a stream

do not you hear my woeful screams?

upon the coldness,i touch the dew

dont you see my heart's a'skew?

beneath the thousand twinkling stars

dont you feel my jagged scars?

seek not my mournful heart breeze

for you will not find it among these trees

its now scattered among the moonlit skies

accompanied by heartfelt cries

it's drifting over the gentle rain

a symbol of my silent pain

i want to bury this in the meadow

fair conjoined with all the sorrow

there it is lost among the stars this night

too far to ease my quiet fright

no gentle winds may seek my heart

for simply now..it has been torn apart...