Journals
Wednesday,Mar 30 2005, 03:15:14 PMI tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My...
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed 'cause you came around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause I channeled all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is...
[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last stand
[Chorus]
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shoulda' never come around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
Saturday,Mar 26 2005, 10:33:38 AMInside this fantasy It seems so real to me Sy
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen
I can see a frozen point in time
Where her figure still awaits
Tongue of fire tracing lips outline
Where frozen breath originates
With one motion of her waiting eyes
She strips everything away
This one moment is intensified
And colors all fade to grey
I am in the only place that i want to be
Though we know that it ends eventually
But it's alright because right now we're frozen
"I want to forget mistakes they've helped me make
It's better to be broken than to break"
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen
I can see a frozen point in time
That is easy to retrace
Light and darkness are both intertwined
The elements are in their place with
One motion of her wanting mind
The real world begins to fade
And all the hateful things I have become
Temporarily go away
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen
When my mind's frozen:
I'll take you anwhere you want to go
Far from anything that feels like home (lets go)
You are anyone I want to be (it's here and now, and now it's only you and me)
It's never enough (mmm that's true)
I want to stay here (yeah, and I do too)
Breakin' it down(takin' it down)
With smell(smell), touch(touch, taste(taste), sight(sight), and sound(sound)
How long will I be here without you near because I'm so cold
Break them first or I'll get broken is not what I was told, now I'm so cold
I'm so cold
So cold
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen
Inside this fantasy
It seems so real to me
Synthetic ecstasy, when her legs are open
True Love behind a wall
Where men and angels fall
A fading memory, when my mind is frozen
Friday,Mar 18 2005, 02:52:58 PMDead as dead can be,? my doctor tells me But...
Dead as dead can be,? my doctor tells me
But I just can?t believe him, ever the optimistic one
I?m sure of your ability to become my perfect enemy
Wake up and face me, don?t play dead cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say, ?You disappoint me,?
Maybe you?re better off this way
Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have
been
It's your right and your ability
To become?my perfect enemy?
Wake up and face me, don?t play dead cause maybe
Someday I?ll walk away and say, ?You disappoint me,?
Maybe you?re better off this way
Maybe you?re better off this way
Maybe you?re better off this way
Maybe you?re better off this way
You?re better of this?you?re better off this?
Maybe you?re better off!
Wake up and face me, don?t play dead cause maybe
Someday I?ll walk away and say, ?You f**king disappoint me!?
Maybe you?re better off this way
Go ahead and play dead
I know that you can hear this
Go ahead and play dead
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
Why can't you turn and face me?
You fucking disappoint me!
Passive aggressive bullshit
Sunday,Mar 13 2005, 12:38:34 PMhmm..hmmm...its been awhile since i've...
hmm..hmmm...its been awhile since i've written sumthin abt ma daily hrglass..alot of things hav happend lately..pple disspearing ,changes in feelings and age is definately cathcin up..last mth i've gt tons of bday bbqs to attend..bt i skipd 1 or 2..soorie ya..n also vday..bla bla bla..currently in in2 d last few weeks of ma basic phase in afs..can't wait fer ma spec phase..cos b4 dat i've gt a 9days break..planned to 2 4 a short trip overseas.. orh ya..wat did i do yesterday... 2dae's ma bro's 17th bday..so i took him out fer lunch at swensons..heaven noes y he din wan ice cream...haiz..in d evening me had dinner at tim's place..it was like course meal..woohooo..freakin big hse wit his own garden n pool..mama mia..he's gt ma dream car lexus rx300..n ma dream hse..afta dinner we headed down to edmund's dad' funeral wake at telok blangah..he seems still jovial..well its all a facade..he's dad died of respitory diesese..edmund's d youngest n d onli guy in d family..thnak god he's elder sis r all married..afta dat we headed back to tim's place fer a workout n a swim..me soo juz luv he's pool..its nt chlorine..its salt..damn smooth..n he has an audio system in his pool..hw nice if...aargh nvm..later afta dat we headed to rouge..met david n ligen there...we had 6 jugs..n 6 beers..lol..danced till it closed den hoppd to chinablk..chinablk sux la..den afta dat we had teh at newton n went hm...me practically slept thro d whole of todae...akahaha...2mrrmw is a new week..hope zan's coping well in tekong..akahaha..wooohah
Sunday,Mar 6 2005, 06:15:48 AMWish I was too dead to cry My self-affliction
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
[Solo: Corey]
Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit