It can be understandable that after all the fucking gossiping and a waste of time, you'd have a bloody bulldog face that all of your face muscles cramped together in the middle of it. If you have the unfortunate chance to meet another one of your neighbours from hell trying to cheer you up by simply saying, 'Hey, cheer up mate!' I'd discovered that, when will people realise that telling someone to cheer up is about as useful as telling someone, 'Fuck You!' No, wait...telling them to fuck can actually be more productive, because if you're willing, you can actually let them fuck you. But suggesting someone should 'cheer up' is utterly, totally, absolutely, completely, fully, entirely, thoroughly, fucking downright  futile. Not only that, it's devasdating. There is an unspoken obligation. Cheer up, or else? What? Fuck you? For the person who has received this mandate, not only do they feel bad, but now they also feel bad about feeling bad. It's a lot of pressure, you know. especially my face shape is long, so I have a long face. Therefore all my life people have told me to cheer up. I mean, 'You mean well is useless unless you do well.' I'll 'cheer up' unless someone actually shouted,' Hey, lets go for a ride in my new sport car and have a lobster dinner with champagne follow by a concert of H.I.M.!' Or else......SHUT THE FUCK UP!

 

Wednesday,May 11 2005, 12:55:16 PMLets Be Friends!

Lets be friends!

For those who always proclaim how boring it can be when being on the net should tell me what is the meaning of boring. When I've had enough of serious and hectic debating in one of the forum on who being the motherfucker, the bitch, the whore, looking up some disgraceful midget porno sites, emailing and grouping the gang and plan to beat the living shit hell of a disrespect bastard, plotting on how to deform that pansy-asshole who dumped my not so close net girl-friend and ran off with his neighbour's ex-husband's best-friend's cousin-sister's ex-pimp's burger vendor's whore's gardener's horny daughter..(urm..so she said), gossipping 'is size matter' on whatever the fuck it is as long as they counted as 'size', I would like to ease myself and have some fun. So I uploaded a decent photo with hair neatly combed back, wearing a not so stylish glasses to actually minimized the lusty look in my eyes, and with a sign 'peace' that almost everybody's favorite's 'trademark' in every god damn fucking photo they took, at one of my outdated profile in one of the 'matchmaking' Malaysian's site. And what do you know......dang da la dang dang......my incoming mail box bombarded with all sort of trying-to-try-their-stupiak-luck-with-copy-and-paste-details-of-their-introduction and send it to every profile that they had came across, doesn't matter whether you're from Africa, Antarctic, or Angora, as long as the profile has picture in it. The game and fun is on.

*real name withheld to protect the um......so call innocent

Hey leez! You've got mail from nicexxxx of Ahmoi.com! To view member information of nicexxxx, follow the URL: http://www.ahmoi.com/pages/index/detail.php?who=nicexxxx ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hello! Fren, Good Day! I am michael and I live at bukit jalil, kuala lumpur. I would like to be your friends and do contact me at 016-289xxxx or email me at xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com. Tell me more about yourself and can I have your phone no? Cheers, xxxx

(Sure you can have my phone number provided you don't mind make an International call here in London, so that I can fucking tell you More about myself which it might took another 27years.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ hi, I\'m an outgoing & hyperactive 26 year old guy from Ipoh and currently running my own business in KL & Ipoh... I do quite frequent of business travellings between two cities... I would wish to have you in my friends\' community... do hope to receive a reply from you soon... you may always contact me @ 012-480xxxxx or add me in MSN / friendster: xxxxx@yahoo.com ... :) you are welcomed to leave down your contact number for better communication if you don\'t mind... we can always meet up for a good chat... :) Luv, Exxxx

(ya right, calling someone doesn't mean a better communication than writing and via the Net. Wanna meet up for a chat? Fly over here and I'll chat with you FACE to FACE, you dumbfuck.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ hai how r u , nice ot meet u ya ? where u from ? just hope to make more friend here . so u mind to be a frend with me ? i from cheras and i am quite active bcoz i like sports. so what u do when u r free ? i seldom online now coz my job is technician so if can u can email me ok xxxxx@yahoo.com icq is 400xxxxx if u feel ok then also can sms me ok 012-38xxxxxx

(Most of you just fancy asking ppl for phone number and sms on the very first note. People are no patient nowadays, what so big deal about cell phone and text messages? People just want everything to be instant. No wonder there're so many fucking fast food and instant food, drink, even has instant 'brush pad' for you to brush your smelly teeth where ever you are. )

--------------------------------------------------- Dear friend So nice to meet u here but hope that i could be the lucky one to receive your mail very soon Hope to be your friend hope to hear you soon hope to get your mail. hope to get your feedback. Will intro myself, if i really be the lucky one anyway this is my icq # 4 8 2 4xxxxx or MSN m2xxxx @ hotmail or yahoo id saxxxx @ yahoo .com. Hope to chat and meet u very soon.. C U...thank you C.H.xxx

(Chat, chat, chat! All you people only know how to chat. You'll be the lucky one coz I'm not in your 'hood' to ask my gang to beat the hell out of you till your mama can't recognize.)

---------------------------------------------- i was browsing the name list at ahmoi.com,ur name caught my attention and after reading ur profile i find u interesting! pls sms/call me at 0194xxxxx.maybe we can chat and get to know each other better. love to hear from u soon! alxxx p.s.got problem loading pic here reply me and i will send u my pic!!!!

(Another dumbfuck. I have no problem uploaded my pic. I ain't wanna BE FRIEND with you coz of your stupiak pic.)

--------------------------------------------------- Believe it or not, this is online publication, Just joking. I got one friend very shy but nice to introduce to you. He is superb nice and smart guy. Rank him 100 out of 50. Attitude number 1. Look normal. Height quite ok. 178cm i think, not counted fat, average. He not handsome like takeshi kenshiro, but gurantee you his attitude good like hell. He do help me alot. So have to help him back by introducing lenglui for him. So choose you. Please don\'t tell him that i simply add you in ahmoi. Please. His email is tayxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com please email him. Thanks..trust me good guy.

(He is nice, smart, good attitude like hell, not so handsome but want lenglui, a good guy, as opposed to all the 'bad ones'. gee, thanks for stating the obvious. And I'm so honour that I've got picked!)

---------------------------------------- hai there, i know a lot of guys email u, but, i can tell u that i am diffrent from others..:) Diffrent in what way? Emm...that is for you to explore... Remember, u never try, u never know! I am chinese,single and available, :D not bad looking, have a slim and average body,together with a sexy butt too :P I love traveling & like music so much ,just like what people always say: \"no music no life!\". Besides, i like to go for party especially rave party,and clubbing! Also, i am into swimming, movie,photography, reading, surfing, chit-chating, enjoying nice food and drink as well as shopping(can u imagine a guy who enjoy shopping?)! Sometimes i am wild, sometimes i am sweet; sometimes i am cool, sometimes i am hot! Do u think u can handle me? :P Since i am single and available, i am into any kind of relationship. Life is too short!!! Let\'s enjoy together n live life to da max!!! Take care my dear, especially in these days! Drink a lot of H2O ya :) :) p/s: Btw, i seldom online these days, so y not we keep in touch in sms or tel? my number is 012 213xxxxx sms me so tat we can know each other better n enjoy life to the fullest! see ya :)

(Ohhhh puuuuur-leeeaaassssee! Talk so much cock, in the end still wanna ppl to call you or sms you. Not surprising nowadays guys like to go shopping coz you'll have the unfortunate chance to encounter the new-type species known as ‘Metrosexuals’. But the way you 'speak', more like a motherfucker. Oh I handle you well, I know how to use a chisel to create enough damage and create an abstract art that your butt no longer call sexy.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hello.. girl... so happy to received your mail... Nice to meet you lor... anyway i reli wish that we can be freind lor.. For your information i seldom online at ahmoi.com gah! If can, can we close contact with each other by mail... You, mind intro pls!!! I would like to know you well lor.. For me i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m male from ipoh with the age 27 lor of course i\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'m chinese lor.. hehe:P how about u there ar? Be friend pls !! since have fate we just can get know each otherS... must appreciate it lor.. ok lar.. this all for this mail... i hope can get your reply soon lor.. then i will replyonce i get ur mail lor... ehhe:P That all for now!! bye n take care ya!! Yixx

(Ya lor, I also a chinese mah, funny I don't remeber sent you mail wor? You seldom online ah? but send mail also need online mah. We sure will have fate mah, if you just buy a ticket to London then we mah can be friend loh, then you can start your fucking life here and I'm sure will appreciate your sincerety loh.....kakakakakakakakakkaka....)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hi.. i m 35/m/damansara... tall 5ft 11\\\" fit n sportive looks, works in PJ >as a General Mgr in an IT co. Love to meet a nice lady for SAFE-romanceX >and great x-fun and also great-FRIENDSHIP as long she can b safe, sincere n >honest... care to meet? Lets b direct to b safe... asl? any contact hp no.?

(Waaakakakakakkaa.......If I meet you how you know that I'm safe enough? Will you bring me to the doctor and inspect me first? There's no such thing as free lunch, go fuck your neighbour's bitch if you don't have one, motherfucker.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hi,I\'m a fun loving, open minded guy that would loves to have sexually stimulated relationship. If you want some good accompany and sex, feel to message me and i\'m willing for you. If you are looking for some extra money and fun,I\'m gladly to provide to you. Well anyway, it is just sex and no string attach.each other with no string attach.

(tiu lei ma ke chow hai chibai nanjiu bukimak, go play your ku ku jiu! )

------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hello there, I am a Malaysian Chinese, from KL, businessman in IT and software development. I am quite busy with biz and looking forward to do something fun when I have the chance. I am not looking for a serious relationship. Why must it be serious all the time about life? In our society we are always told what to do and what not to do and I really feel trapped all the time. Why can’t we do something that we like for a change? I am not talking about doing something again the law, but hey driving fast is again the law but I like to do it sometimes too. This is all about relativity right? I cannot accept social norm, where we must behave in certain way just to make other happy. I like to do something or behave in someway that make me happy, are you also feel the same? Do you feel trapped in someone else rules and world? I guess I am a rebellion type; I am looking for a partner who is feeling the same and wanting to do something about it. Are you the one? ICQ = 11xxxxxxx Yahoo = ezzxxxxxxxx Skype = ezzxxxxxxxx Email = ezzxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com Friendster = ezzxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com Cheer Mxxx P/S: Please attach a picture and reply directly to my email address. Cheers and Be Happy!!

(Eh, wait a minute, I heard these lines before? Where was it eh? Oh yes, yes, there's a devil trapped inside me, I feel like I wanna break free, I feel like rule the world...please bring out the devil in me and we shall leap into the unknown world and lets get rebellion! you dumbfuck!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are tons with the similar approaches and it's not amusing anymore. Of course, if I think of sex every 6 min with a dick, I'll sure try my luck and send out as many emails as I can, after all it's just a click away and most of all, it's FREE! Why not?

Okok, just because I'm not the biggest motherfucker that we're debating, couldn't find the pansy-asshole, most of my net pals already offline to fuck themselves, I have nothing better to do so I made some pointless rambling here, happy now?

By the way, there are still a handful that actually sincere enough to read through my profile and gave me feedback and comments, awww....how sweet of them, therefore I replied them back with my naked pic.