Journals
Sunday,May 4 2008, 12:55:48 PMyou shudnt have made me wait
you shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have made me wait at Breakdown Motel
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have left me by myself
You managed to knock me out
But I promise you, babe, I will come round
One day you were near me, but not for long
And the strange has sweet become
We can't hold on to the things we love
So don't hold on
So you can fly to the moon above
To find something new
When you're back in this atmosphere
You can't help being blue, you
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have made me wait at Breakdown Motel
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have let me scare myself
You managed to knock me out
But I promise you, babe, I will come round
So you can go anywhere you want
But it won't lead nowhere
It's always strange when I check out up here
And you're not there
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have made me wait at Breakdown Motel
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have left me by myself
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have made me wait at Breakdown Motel
You shouldn't have made me wait
You shouldn't have let me scare myself
You managed to knock me out
But I promise you, babe, I will come round
breakdown motel by mutya buena
Saturday,May 3 2008, 02:38:30 PMmissing out
do you know how it feels like
to miss your conversation with your friends
to miss the get togethers
their stupid jokes..their expression when something excites them
the familiarity of interest that we share
the same old jokes we will laugh about
do you know that i dreamt of how it used to be?
just me and u?
and the empty old house
and especially u
we shared a bedroom
we laugh together ...eat together..go shopping together..
when i wake up in the morning u r just not..there...
i remember our first encounter of embarassment..
u got that from me a lot from your expression
when i told u how i had a crush on someone in class..and me..blabbing on and on..about stuff u wouldnt want to know...
we missed our time..our chances..
if i could turn back time..
i would have made it clear with u..
and u wouldnt even need to tell me..
coz we has always been..together..
u wouldnt need to tell me anything
coz i already understand..
friends cant be lovers i know
but that day
when they saw us together..
we pretended to be lovers..
i so wished that we are..
the feelings right..and u r mine..
but u just cant tell me that
u felt something too? cant u?
haiz..
distances has departed us..
conversation is dead..
this is killing me..
the distance..
the silences...
the sad songs..
i m a living dead person..
Thursday,Apr 17 2008, 01:24:40 PMyou gave me a reason to live:
hot guys, u rock!
you gave me a reason to come to class...
XOXO
justagurl
Wednesday,Apr 9 2008, 03:37:23 PMemo/self resurrection day
Stay for a moment like this,
You don’t see what it had done to me
That I can’t stand if you nail your sight
That freezes my body
It happened before and I can’t speak
Maybe you think that I’m crazy and
And it is a bit true, I have to accept
But if I don’t explain to you
What I feel inside
You won’t understand
When you see me crying
I’ve never felt so alone like yesterday
So fast, I understood while I was quiet
Life shouted and told me that I never had you
and I never lost you
And it explained to me that love is a thing
That comes very fast
Naturally
Full of smoke
If you force it, it will go without having its beginning, it arrives to its final
Now maybe you can understand that
If you touch me, my skin will burn
Now maybe you can understand
And you won’t return if you don’t want to see
I cry for you
I cry without you, and that now I understood
That you’re not for me
And I cry
English translation of Que Lloro song by Sin Banderas which i asked my friend to translate it for me...its a really nice spanish song..
and i cry...but no tears come down..
" u still like him?" Y
" yea..i think so.."
"you shud totally forget about that guy!" Y
" you think? i was so tempted to msg him the other day he was online.." J
" do you think i shud msg him? it says he is busy.." J
" yea..just say hi as a friend la.." Y
" dont wan la..later he think i m desperate.." J
" oh ok...." Y
few days later...
" hey Y...i think i finally can let him go...." J
" oh ..thats good.." Y
"thank goodness...i thought u will never forget about him" Y
"yea..i thought i couldnt..until one day...i thought how meaningless it was waiting for a guy that dont even know that i existed " J
" ....and i took his pic down my board..." J
" lolz..u have his pic pinned on a board?...lolz.." Y
Yep...thats the end of another love/crush/thingy going on...it felt a bit of relief and a little bit of loneliness feeling the empty space..but overall..it felt good to lift this heavy rock up....
note to self : try to live life again...lick your wounds, lift yourself up coz the wounds will heal up eventually..
Monday,Nov 26 2007, 04:09:18 AMthe letter not sent
to a special friend,
the news is out, and i didnt even get to tell you before they announced it. i just couldnt bare the thought of looking at you and telling you that i m leaving, while my friend talks about looking at how you will react to the news. and i didnt get to see that.
i just want to tell you. how much i ll miss having you around. the times when we had a great laugh making a fool out of ourselves, the never ending race of the chasing and staring game, of what a coincidence seeing you at the same place and the same time. you were so close beside me. but yeah..i messed up at every chances that we have.
i remembered you said that you tend to get a bit shy around people. and i really wanted to believe in you. then, i remembered my friend saying that if a guy really likes a girl, he will find all possible ways to chase the girl. i forgot the part where "he is just not that into you". well, i guess time has proved everything.
i m happy to have you as a friend and i wish that you will find your own happiness and i wish you well.
from
the anonymous voice