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koimo's Homepage http://www.zorpia.com/koimo Wed, 06 Jan 2010 05:54 EST Wed, 06 Jan 2010 05:54 EST Zorpia.com Whispers in the night http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1796195 I wrote this a few days after we talked in his office.. Now, I guess I was wrong.. But it is ok to be wrong sometimes, it is ok.... <img alt="Reminiscing" hspace="0" src="http://i287.photobucket.com/albums/ll141/janessa_1201/sleepinggirl.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" />   Whispers in the night   By Esther-Karin Mngodo   I hear whispers in the night, a man and a woman in a fight They whisper love with all their might, then they kiss so light   Truth is unveiled as they gaze into each otherâ€™s eyes, What is unspoken is stronger than words that seem like a lie For in the heart lies the truth, like one Boaz was told by Ruth   They are so much in love; their love was destined by the one above Well that is what she does believe, what she thinks he is afraid to perceive   He knows that his path will never be easy, a road that would make them both lonely But her heart has settled on his passion, she is even ready to die for him   He tries to convince her to move on, but what she feels is so strong He whispers: â€˜I will know my wife when I see herâ€™, she stares and fails to answer   â€˜He loves meâ€™ she thinks to herself, yet she is afraid he will choose someone else The whispers increase in my head, as silently I lay on my bed   In my spirit I hear him say he loves me, but his lips utter â€˜maybeâ€™ I just hope he would understand this; I am not looking for a cute face and a French kiss   The whispers keep haunting me; I know one day I will be free I wonâ€™t have to whisper anymore, to him my love I will freely show   March 6, 2008 1610   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1796195 Mon, 21 Apr 2008 07:09 EST My Life is No longer MINE!!! http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794743 My life is no longer my ownâ€¦  <img alt="Surrenderrrr" hspace="0" src="http://i279.photobucket.com/albums/kk137/eriksbaby20/QUOTES-9.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> I just finished buying a new carpet and new curtainsâ€¦ Just started settling downâ€¦ But God says Arise, pick up your bags and walkâ€¦ Go to the land that I shall lead you to! Your life isnâ€™t yoursâ€¦ You own nothing in this worldâ€¦ You came naked and you shall leave naked, just as you cameâ€¦   Who am I, o man, that I should go against the Lord God Almighty? May HIS will be doneâ€¦ I donâ€™t know where he is taking me but I am ready for itâ€¦ ready in the sense that I am willing to go through the processâ€¦ I know it is not going to be easyâ€¦ I know that there will be sleepless nights, there will be times when I will go on an empty stomach.. But should I complain that God isnâ€™t justâ€¦ that he has forsaken me? Certainly not!   I am kind of excitedâ€¦ I actually am, I am very excited because I donâ€™t know what will be the next stepâ€¦ what will be the assignment? The requirementâ€¦ I remember the last time that God came strongly on me, for me to lay down my life, my all for himâ€¦ I came up with ten or more excusesâ€¦   This is what I said: God, I canâ€™t serve you as you want because I am young, I am a woman, I am illiterate, I am single, I am poor, I amâ€¦ I amâ€¦ I amâ€¦ But now, I say I would love to serve you Lord because I am young, because I am illiterate, because I am single, because I am poor, because I am nothing and you are everything o Lord.   Last night, God asked me the hardest questionsâ€¦ questions that I have been trying to avoidâ€¦ but they came so strong to me and I realized how untrue I was to Godâ€¦ Will you give me EVERYTHING??... Surrender everything??? What if I say that you wonâ€™t marry, the man that you have hoped for? What if you donâ€™t continue with the job, that you have worked hard to make the achievements at hand? What if you drop out of school that you prayed for so long to get, one that would give you the status you want? What if I isolate you as a guinea-pig just to work on you as an antidote for the nations? Will you let me? Will you let me be strong in your life to tegua your leg?   Living in the light of God isnâ€™t easy. I just give myself to the king, so that he could do anythingâ€¦ I am looking forward to days when no one will understand meâ€¦ my family, my parents, my friendsâ€¦ when everyone will be against meâ€¦   But I know that if that is what it takes for his will to be done in me, then I just surrenderâ€¦ for him to work in my life, work on my heart and my spiritâ€¦   You know, when Caasi told me that I should let go of him, I remember telling myself â€˜does he really  think that I will do that?â€™ and I didnâ€™t even care if his message was from God or notâ€¦ I wasnâ€™t ready to give him upâ€¦ Now I realize what they mean when they say that he gives and takes away, the heart should choose to say, blessed be His nameâ€¦   1606 March 12, 2008       Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794743 Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:45 EST Think about t http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794477 Think about itâ€¦. <img alt="Think Think" hspace="0" src="http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd160/michelly412/girl.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> By Esther-Karin Mngodo   1. The birds in the sky do not have a job or bills to worry about,     But everyday they eat, safely sleep and have nothing to doubt.     Take a moment, and think about it.     I want to continue, please permit.   2. The valleys in the field are always beautifully clothed     Even those knitted with plants that might be strongly loathed     Take a moment, and think about it.     Itâ€™s quite food for thought, I admit.   3. The male geese know that they are to mate female geese,     What if the lioness went out with a zebra, would there be peace?     Take a moment and think about it.     Iâ€™m not being silly you know, just spicing my mind with wit.   4. The world is revolving and rotating at the same time,     Yet we donâ€™t feel the spinning as we easily run, sit or climb     Take a moment and think about it.     Look at how everything is perfectly knit?   5. Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer     Some things are just so amazing that itsâ€™ mysteries we canâ€™t have answer     Take a moment and think about it.   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794477 Wed, 16 Apr 2008 04:34 EST The best song in the world http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794238 The best song in the world  <img alt="sing it gal" hspace="0" src="http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee93/missEsther-karin/singing-girl-1.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> By Esther-Karin Mngodo   1. The best song in the world, is the song within      It makes you smile, as to yourself you sing.        You might be surrounded by troubles      But when the song arises, you know that you will win.      That is why I am convinced thatâ€¦      The best song in the world is the song within.   2. The best song in the world, is the song within      It gives you strength to believe that you can do anything.        Sometimes people donâ€™t believe in your capabilities      But your song shows you of your potentials and possibilities.      I am telling you I am sure now more than ever thatâ€¦      The best song in the world, is the song within   3. The best song in the world, is the song within      It surfaces feelings suppressed and hidden.         Loving someone who doesnâ€™t love you back isnâ€™t an easy thing      A song of strengths lightens you up on what fate would bring.      I have no doubt at this moment thatâ€¦      The best song in the world, is the song within.   4. The best song in the world, is the song within      It brings life, joy and love that covers all sin.        As a beautiful song arises from your soul, the heart is filled with peace       You might feel like going shopping, or with your enemies have a feast.       I donâ€™t think that there is anything as strong as it because       The best song in the world, is the song within.   5. The best song in the world, is the song within      Singing it makes you feel like a queen, or king.       â€˜Ts going to be alrightâ€™ to yourself you sing      All those who have been there, done that, know what I mean.      Let me just conclude with 10 worded line thatâ€¦      The best song in the world, is the song within.   February 26, 2008 1200 hrs     Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794238 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:47 EST I call THIS love... http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794224 I call this Love  <img alt="Awwwchhh" hspace="0" src="http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll9/circledmoon/heartsurgery.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> By Esther-Karin Mngodo Two Tehillahs ago, this lady Neema said something that was quite astonishingâ€¦ She was like people who â€˜donâ€™t haveâ€™ seek God so that he might give em what they need and those who â€˜do haveâ€™ seek him so that they might not loose what they haveâ€¦ personally, I donâ€™t want to be in either situationsâ€¦ I want to WANT God because I want HIMâ€¦ Father, what is going on has really caught me off-guardâ€¦ You knowâ€¦ I wasnâ€™t prepared for this at allâ€¦ I donâ€™t know how I am going to make it on this one, but I AMâ€¦ IN YOU.., That is because you are going to carry me through it Lord.. There is no way I am going to be alone in this oneâ€¦ I would loose FOCUSâ€¦ I would loose my MINDâ€¦. In moments like these, I am left SPEECHLESS Speechless Although there are many things to address, I am left speechless I am just a little girl in a dress, and I am left speechless The pain in me is so real, more than less, and I am left speechless I know God cares and he is here to listen, But in his presence I am left speechless     I know that I asked for this one  I thought it would be so much â€˜funâ€™ To find out who or what God really is This great priviledge I didnâ€™t want to miss     Now, I realize that is harder that what I thought For my way hardship is what he has brought To teach me that there is more to what I just think is theory It is damn painful to know who God is, all yâ€™all out there hear me     First, he fixes you in a corner where you canâ€™t move Then he takes a knife, cuts your heart, and that aint smooth!!! Though you scream, kick, cry and curse a bit Deep down you know that all this is meant to keep you fit     Then in the midst of the pain you cry out â€˜I love you Jesus, I need youâ€™ And right there and then you realize that it is a sweet fellowship in the surgery room You know that although this is the most painful experience in your life, You are enjoying every moment of it because you are in safe hands     Breathe   In the surgery room That is where I get to know who you really are That is where I realize that you are never far Even when you cut my heart open You embrace me in my pain and love me more than a friend That is why I know I will be safe in your arms In the surgery room     In the surgery room That is where you change her That is where she enters into your love forever No one can know the father without meeting the surgeon Trust me, he doesnâ€™t show up humbly like a pigeon.     I need a change of heart Gove me a heart like yours   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794224 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:54 EST LONELINESS http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794196 I wrote this when I lost grandpaâ€¦ <img alt="Loneliness knew me by name..." hspace="0" src="http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee93/missEsther-karin/crying-1.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> LONELINESS A feeling of sorrow, no hope for tomorrow A predator of manâ€™s heart, an emotion that tries to act smart Ah, it makes you feel enclosed in a cageâ€¦ angry, upset and filled with rage Loneliness is itsâ€™ name, it is a mysterious emotional flame   Loneliness is a disease with many names But the symptoms are quite the same Tears, confusion, two faced personality All these show that one canâ€™t face reality.   Loneliness might take you by surprise sometimes One minute you are so secure and the next you are not fine It strikes the heart when you donâ€™t have many alternatives Like everything you lived for has been taken away by thieves.   Loneliness abuses the heart It fills it with grief and breaks it apart It twists a real fact of beauty into an dillusion Makes you fell like no problem has a solution.   Loneliness tells you it is your fault It makes you build a wall around yourself Itsâ€™ sharp teeth eats up you self-esteem It makes you abstain from meals until you are thin.   Loneliness teaches you a new way of living â€˜Behave to gain acceptanceâ€™ it sings Why donâ€™t they love me? From this spell I want to be free.   My heart is in great pain But thank God that it hasnâ€™t become lame Pain is certainly our daily bread Our inner selves it threads.   Was it necessary that I see the dark clouds? Necessary that with mud I fill my mouth? Sometimes I think that loneliness is an inborn trait Someone help me solve this mystery of fate. Edited 1303 March 13, 2008   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794196 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:33 EST Foofd 4 THOUGHT http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794184 Someone sent me this on my email.. I did a lil editing and I want to share it with y'all... Love n Kisses 1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for. â€“ For me it is my mum, dad and 4 siblings, so I guess PRIMARILY I would die for 6 peopleâ€¦ he he heâ€¦ 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way . . . eeerâ€¦ I donâ€™t really think that love can be measured on one scaleâ€¦ So at least to say â€˜in some wayâ€™ is fair... The depth of love varies but I know that there are people who are crazily madly in love with meâ€¦ he he heâ€¦ 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. . I donâ€™t have hatersâ€¦ I seek to have peace with God and with ALL menâ€¦ If they hate me, it is because of the message of peace that I have within meâ€¦ The message that convicts their hearts of their sinsâ€¦ he he heâ€¦. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you . . . Hmmm 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep . . . Hahahahâ€¦ This is a good oneâ€¦ Yes, I believe it, and that someone is Jesus... I am ALWAYS on his mindâ€¦ 6. You mean the world to someoneâ€¦ I donâ€™t want to mean the world to someoneâ€¦ But I want to be with someone whom we would share a passion for someone who means the world to USâ€¦ Only Jesus should be told those words... â€˜You are my world, you are my God, and I lay my life for youâ€¦â€™ 7. You are special and uniqueâ€¦ Oh Halleluia! That I KNOW for a fact.. My skin, my hair, my s*** voice... he he heâ€¦ Damn I â€˜m fine!! 8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves youâ€¦ Oh please!! This sound like a psychoâ€™s brainâ€¦ Better I am loved by the known than the unknownâ€¦ 9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from itâ€¦ Tell me about it!!... God ALWAYS turns it around for HIS goodâ€¦ Love u love u love uu 10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another lookâ€¦ The subject isnâ€™t the world, the subject is Jesusâ€¦ and good thing, Jesus will never turn his back on meâ€¦ I always rest under the shadow of his wings and lay my head on his chestâ€¦ 11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarksâ€¦ Well, we need a man and a woman to have a baby, and positive and negative poles to have a magnetâ€¦ And we definitely need those criticisms to be who we are supposed to beâ€¦ So even though I am a bit emotional sometimes, BRING IT ON!!!!... he he heâ€¦   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1794184 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:11 EST Grandpa and I http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1772510 <img alt="Babu.. Miss u" hspace="0" src="http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee93/missEsther-karin/babuIandwaruuu.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> His name is, or was, James Kihaa Chome Mngodo. He was in his 70s when he died. He passed on two weeks ago... I canâ€™t even remember the exact date and I donâ€™t think that I want to rememberâ€¦   I was in my bedroom, on a Sunday afternoon, when I received a ring from Aunt Grace. When I picked up, she hung upâ€¦ Then I called her back... she didnâ€™t pick upâ€¦ I called about a million timesâ€¦ Then I got a ring from Sis Mbonile, all she could say was â€˜Poleâ€™ which means â€˜sorryâ€™â€¦ My mind raced back and forthâ€¦ I was scared because I knew it was bad news.   Then Aunt G did pick up her phoneâ€¦ I asked her what was up, she said nothingâ€¦ and right there, I knew something was wrongâ€¦ cause I know someone like Aunt Grace cant just give me a ring for nothingâ€¦ All I remember is that she was like â€˜daddy hasnâ€™t told you yet?; and I was like â€˜Noâ€™.. Please tell me...   Well, she ddnt tell me... But Aunt Stella didâ€¦ And it happened so fast... I just froze on the fon... I couldnâ€™t say a word... I was just thereâ€¦   Gramps has gone to be with the Lordâ€¦ I couldnâ€™t stop cryingâ€¦ then someone on a private number calledâ€¦ I thought it was Tim, or Anna, or Robiâ€¦ I was still crying when I picked upâ€¦ and I couldnâ€™t stopâ€¦ It was Jonasâ€¦ Ooo... Twas embarrassing for him to hear me crying like that, like a babyâ€¦ But at least I cud just let it all outâ€¦   I miss my grampsâ€¦ He was the only gramps I knewâ€¦ He was my friendâ€¦ I can still remember getting into his room and calling out â€˜babu... amka... sindanoâ€™â€¦ You see, he was diabeticâ€¦ My dad, my sis Ann and I used to take care of him in the sense that we would give him his shot and some medicsâ€¦ that was a routine for the morning and eveningâ€¦   Grandpa was like a link btn my time and his time and beyondâ€¦ We used to talk of the silliest of things about the pastâ€¦ like, he could still remember how his mama beat him up when he was playing with tyres... hahahaâ€¦ or how he had taken his wife, my late grandma, and his kids, my dad and a few others, and they went to the national stadium to celebrate the FIRST Independence Dayâ€¦   I remember one day, I asked him soooo many questionsâ€¦ And he told me something that was shokingâ€¦ he told me about his woman, before my grandma.. Her name was Anna, and he has kids with herâ€¦ I donâ€™t even remember what happened to Annaâ€¦ or to their loveâ€¦ But my when my grandma came to the picâ€¦ Grandpa went out for her, he really wanted to have her, and that is why he has chale on himâ€¦ the whole convertsation actually started when I noticed that he had those chales on himâ€¦ At first he was hesitant to telling me, but he finally didâ€¦ I am not proud of this truth, I donâ€™t think he is, or was, either.. But at least the gud thing is that I came to being because of him and grandma coming togetherâ€¦   And then I wanted to know how comes I had never met my grandmaâ€™s relativesâ€¦ well, it seems she didnâ€™t have much of relativesâ€¦ there were only two children, she and her bro, if I aint mistakenâ€¦ and they are both goneâ€¦   I wish I had written down EVERYTHING that gramps had told me that dayâ€¦ now, all history is goneâ€¦ I was also so pissed off with God because I blivd that he would live so much longer... but now I know, God gives and takes away, his name is to be praised.   Someone actually dared to ask me â€˜did his death come as a shock to you?â€™ and I was like â€˜yeah...â€™ and he was like â€˜ooo but he was oldâ€™... I just gave him that lilâ€™ devilish smile that says â€˜make another comment about it and guess who will be joining grandpaâ€¦â€™   Then one of my girlfriends said I shud just continue with exams since the real truth was, I wasnâ€™t really depending on grandpa for anything so I could pass burying himâ€¦   Yes, he was old, Yes he never gave me a dime, except for the 50gz he gave me some time when I and Mama Fay helped him out with his pension fundsâ€¦ BUT he was my one and only dear grampsâ€¦ he was my friendâ€¦ and I loved him so muchâ€¦   When he died, I felt so aloneâ€¦ it is strange but I felt like he had left MEâ€¦   Wanavihiâ€¦ hahahahâ€¦. Everybody likes the Saturday Nightâ€¦ he he he.. Mateeeâ€¦ J   Miss you grampsâ€¦   Love you still. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1772510 Fri, 08 Feb 2008 07:36 EST Kiss and let go of me http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1763159  <img alt="hugging me" hspace="0" src="http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i203/xo_dirty_little_secret/Anime%20Couples/Hugging.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> â€˜Kiss and let go of meâ€™   Kiss and let go of me Bring life to me Make me breathe   I close my eyes and all I see is you Your presence makes me cold And I shiver   I feel the whole room turning blue When I breathe I can see the air I exhale And I shiver   Your presence in this room, in my heart, is real I can feel you so close to me And I shiver   The greater my love for you The stronger my heart becomes cold And I shiver   I want to love you, spoil you But you wouldnâ€™t let me, you donâ€™t love me like I love you So I shiver   So I open my eyes and I see you You are with her, you love her So I shiver   I murmur to myself â€˜if only he would kiss meâ€™ Just once, kiss and let go of me Maybe I wonâ€™t shiver anymore   I scream silently, love me, and hold me Kiss and let go of me Maybe I wonâ€™t shiver anymore   I want my heart to be free Loving you is like a bondage to me I donâ€™t want to shiver anymore   I close my eyes again, We are standing at â€˜zero distanceâ€™ from each other I am shaking   Your lips donâ€™t touch mine But your heart does, and that is all I wanted I am shaking   Your heart is kissing mine Embracing me with love undefined I am shaking   You make me feel like a queen but it suddenly ends, the warmth is gone I am shaking   You let go of me, You forget me I am shaking   I wish I had never asked for the silliest thing That you kiss and let go of me Come back, and make me breathe   I canâ€™t breathe, Joanna was right We might be happier dead  than alive Where our imaginations take control   O my love, Come back, and make me breathe I wish I had never asked for the silliest thing That you kiss and let go of me     Esther-Karin   0230 January 4, 2008               Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1763159 Mon, 07 Jan 2008 03:37 EST Broken grace seen lying on my green http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1761150 This is my winning poem in poetry group.. I will be hosting the competition from Dec 31 to Jan 6.. Am so happy:) <img alt="broken gracee" hspace="0" src="http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o82/CZAR25_2007/woman.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" />  Broken grace seen lying on my green The waters were as clear as crystal,   That I could see myself through, I wish I would see a princess in a castle But the reality I certainly knew   Gazing at the river as if looking for something Something more that the girl I saw Fragile, empty yet afraid of nothing Her face convinced the waters that she was searching for more   The river was a sign of hope, A sign of life, a sign of love Not to keep me high like dope But make me concentrate on the one above   As I sat at the bank of the river My green dress was caught by thorns There were some bushes just beside me And my dress got torn   I cried, I was just twelve years old But then I realized that there was a diamond on my dress I felt that my breath I could not hold Who made me go through distress just me to impress?   A lot more diamonds lay on the bushes of thorn beside me Broken grace seen lying on my green It was by grace that I got such a valuable thing It was so humble and broken to make my dirty old green rag sheen   Broken grace seen lying on my green It made me know that someone did love me I had concentrated on the river stream Not knowing that there are other things that beam   Broken grace seen lying on my green!     Esther-Karin December 27, 2007 1645     Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1761150 Mon, 31 Dec 2007 04:54 EST The untold story of the young womanâ€™s worldâ€¦ http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1761148 The untold story of the young womanâ€™s worldâ€¦ <img alt="confused" hspace="0" src="http://i125.photobucket.com/albums/p55/hornelena/woman.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" />   Softâ€¦ tenderâ€¦ confused of her gender Boldâ€¦ strongâ€¦ afraid to be wrong Weakâ€¦ meekâ€¦ doesnâ€™t want to be considered cheap The true story is untoldâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   Loveâ€¦ affection... all she needs is protection Her heartâ€¦ her soulâ€¦ ready to give her all Natureâ€¦ traits inbornâ€¦ the though of it leaves her torn The true story is untoldâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   The presentâ€¦ the pastâ€¦ the flashbacks last Her touchâ€¦ his strokeâ€¦ left the heart broke The excitementâ€¦ the obsessionâ€¦ brought nothing but depression The true story is untoldâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   Curiosityâ€¦ aged thirteenâ€¦ to a man she gave in He said â€˜ifâ€™â€¦ she said â€˜pleaseâ€™â€¦ she didnâ€™t want him to leave Her hopesâ€¦ her dreamsâ€¦ crushed on her like a rushing stream The true story is untoldâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   Identityâ€¦ aged fifteenâ€¦ her beauty was to be seen Hitâ€¦ runâ€¦ she just wanted some fun Leisureâ€¦ pleasureâ€¦ the hidden pain wasnâ€™t easy to measure The true story is untoldâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   Philandererâ€¦ promiscuousâ€¦ she knew he wasnâ€™t true to her In patienceâ€¦ in loveâ€¦ she waited for a miracle from above Emotionallyâ€¦ intellectuallyâ€¦ he abused and bruised her internally The true story now unfoldsâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   A new startâ€¦ aged nineteenâ€¦ a new love started to ring Approvalâ€¦ acceptanceâ€¦ still, all she received was rejection She shoutedâ€¦ she screamedâ€¦ yet the nightâ€™s darkness still beamed The true story now unfoldsâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   The choirâ€¦ the bedâ€¦ now all heads are raised The pastorâ€¦ the singerâ€¦ he preachers, she lingers Heâ€™s normalâ€¦ sheâ€™s immoralâ€¦ the definitions should be considered abnormal The true story now unfoldsâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   Runâ€¦ hitâ€¦ let them all feel the heat Revengeâ€¦ angerâ€¦ f** even with a stranger Freezeâ€¦ pleaseâ€¦ I am asking on my knees The true story now unfoldsâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   A man?â€¦ a woman?â€¦ no poem can reveal them Confusionâ€¦ solutionâ€¦ needed is oneâ€™s intuition Be trueâ€¦ be holyâ€¦ that is the core of the story The true story now unfoldsâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   Softâ€¦ tenderâ€¦ confused of her gender Boldâ€¦ strongâ€¦ afraid to be wrong Weakâ€¦ meekâ€¦ doesnâ€™t want to be considered cheap The true story is STILL untoldâ€¦ of the young womanâ€™s world.   To be continued   Esther-Karin December 24, 2007 1244 Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1761148 Mon, 31 Dec 2007 04:42 EST The butterfly http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1759150 <img alt="The Butterfly" hspace="0" src="http://i269.photobucket.com/albums/jj66/Perfect677/butterfly2.gif" align="baseline" border="0" />The butterfly's hands were warm, as her beautiful smile was formed Time felt to be at stand, the moment that she squeezed my hands I felt that the butterfly knew what she was doing, as she sucked from me all my fluids She filled her tummy, had her pleasure and made me feel secure without measure.   My petals were awakened, and the whole of me was shaken A beautiful butterfly had find her space in a beautiful flower's heart No other flower could have its pollens enter me, as the butterfly came to set me free Symbiotically we satisfied each other, the beautiful butterfly and I, her lover.   Our biological differences made us feel like we were the same, I knew her feelings even before they were named Yet little did I know that the beautiful butterfly was not attracted to me because of my beauty, Her empty tummy and her bleeding heart sought refuge in my lovely taste of fruity, But is she to be blamed? Not all. For her heart had become lame. So had mine...   But in time, it would regain its spine... I will forget the butterfly's fragrance that made me breathe, and dance with those who could make my ovaries live.  Esther-Karin December 22, 2007 1340 Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1759150 Mon, 24 Dec 2007 00:25 EST What defines you? ... Love yourself http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1749429 One thing I find hard about the whole process of growing up is that you arenâ€™t the only one who is changing, everyone around you also is. And the way other people change affects us a lot, because just like you, they are looking for a sense of belong, an identity, acceptance and ways of raising their self-esteem. <a href="http://photobucket.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" src="http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee93/missEsther-karin/Sayings.gif" border="0" /></a>    And other peopleâ€™s views about things, about us, affect us a lot especially if they are very close to us â€“ like our parents, best friends, teachers or siblings. But a question that we should all bear in mind is â€˜What defines you?â€™ What makes you who you are? Is it an expensive phone? Is it the way you laugh? Is it the readings on the weight? Or is it the amount of money that you have in the bank? How about the number of friends you have? Is that it? Or is it about being cool in class that defines you? If there was one thing that I would have to change about myself, that thing would be â€“ nothing. I love myself the way I am. I am puffy, with a cherubic face, short, dark skin, and I am very beautiful the way I am. I get tired of hearing people put tag names on me and expect me to react. â€˜You are so fatâ€™â€¦ â€˜You are so skinnyâ€™â€¦ â€˜Your nose is too smallâ€™â€¦ â€˜Your eyes are too bigâ€™â€¦ So what? That is what you should be your answer. God made you that way, and there is really nothing that you could do about it. I know that in other parts of this world, technology has advanced and people can do cosmetic surgery and change parts of their bodies that they donâ€™t like, but these things have some consequences I tell you. Look at Michael Jackson; he isnâ€™t as cute as he was when he was his old self. And poor Mama West, she dies on November 10, this year due to complications of a cosmetic surgery she had done. None of these things can define you. Not your body size, not your pocket size and not ur friends size. But the heart size, that is what matters. Love yourself, Love God and Love your neighbour as much as you love yourself. And love life. Stay blessed. Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1749429 Thu, 22 Nov 2007 07:02 EST The Psalm of Esther-Karin http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1744539 Hey people... Do you know Psalms 23? Well, my Pastor was giving us some tips on song-writing and told us to re-write Psalms 23 using our own professions.. And it was cool for me.. I wanna share it with all of ya.. And u can try it as well.. The Psalm of Esther-Karin The Lord is my journalist, I shall not lack news. He leads me to where the truth is, through the path of justice He guides me through a series of investigative stories for his name sake. Even though I see corruption increasing, I will not fear betrayal, for you are with me You will not be paid off not to let me know what is going on. Your pen and your camera they comfort me You prepare balanced stories before me, in the presence of corrupt people My heart is delighted as you serve the weak and the hopeless My TV and radio are always on And I always have a copy of the newspaper. Surely, great opportunities will follow me all the days of my life As I read the adverts he avails me And I will dwell in the editorial forever. October 2007     Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1744539 Tue, 06 Nov 2007 01:08 EST Maam Cherie and I http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1744374 I met Cherie Blair the other day when she had come for the launching of 'Dogodogo', a book about 8 boys who found refuge at Dogodogo centre... (Dogodogo means The littles ones).. And I must say, I felt like a lil' baby after meeting Cherie.. hahaha.. I mean, at first I thought it was no big deal.. But now I luk at my signd buk by her name and I just smile..  <img hspace="0" src="http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee93/missEsther-karin/Essie%20and%20Cherie/IMG_0489.jpg" align="baseline" border="0" /> Children are beautiful beings, and they do deserve to tell their stories and to be heard... Perhaps Cherie has other hidden agendas for coming to Tanzania twice in a year, but for now, I will rest on the fact that she is a gud ol lady with a kind heart for the children.. :)   Personal http://www.zorpia.com/koimo/journal/1744374 Mon, 05 Nov 2007 10:04 EST