After so long...

i'm back on track

everything's back to normal!

and for once i'm gonnna yell YATTA!

I'm no longer the insane guy i was...

well, maybe a little...

but not because of depression...

i'm not depressed...

wait was i depressed?

lol

seriously...

i'm gonna fight to the end...

and when i did...

the only thing i would say is...

YATTA!

It was a few months ago when Suzy broke up with me.
I've been depressed since. Trying to look for someone else.
I want to get myself back on track, but i can't. I can't go back to Suzy anymore because she has a new guy in her life. All I want is to get back on track. Sure sometimes I am lazy. But the reason why I spend more time right in front of the computer? Because I'm down and I want to find a way to help myself. To make myself come back on track. I'm only addicted to the computer because I am trying to find a cure to my stupid meaningless depression. My family kept on saying that I was misusing the PC, but hey, they don't understand what I'm really doing. I don't even want to tell them what I'm actually doing. Because they won't listen and they don't understand me much. No one does, except for my ex girlfriend, Suzy. She knows when I'm down.

I want this to end right now! I don't want to be depressed anymore. I'm already half way through it. I am doing my best to get back on track. It'll all be fine soon... I hope.





 

Teenagers of today don't understand the true meaning of love. I was not an exception. I did fell in love with someone older than me when I was 14. But that relationship did not last as both of us were not really serious. It was not until I was 16 when I met my real first TRUE love, Suzy. Despite the distance between us, we both vowed to cross borders to meet each other.

 But then there was so many troubles we are facing. But although Suzy tries to stay away from me because of the problems she's facing. She thought that she had hurt me a little too many times. But despite all of these, I still stick close to her, face all the problems together, I said. And we did. Until lately that we broke up because of the distance again. And then I tried to get her back, but she refuses and insisted on moving on. So, to forget her, I have to find another girl to make me happy and move on. And I did, but the happiness with this girl named Angel was short-lived. Suzy sent me an e-mail telling her life's story before and after she met me. It was during this time when I had realized that I had make a big mistake. I had gave up on someone whom I love so deeply for someone else whom I don't love as deep as before.

In the e-mail, it stated that Suzy, was in fact having problems ever since she went into hospital for months. She was having problems after that. Until the summer of 2006, where she had met me. Everything changed when she fell in love with me. She was happy now. Because whatever she's going through, she has me by her side always with her. Though sometimes, her friends tried to split us, it was not made possible because our love for each other is too strong to be broken simply by her friends. But then there were the problems she face and at the end, she lost me to Angel. And she lost two of her close friends, Tony and Kurik.

After I've read this e-mail I cried and cried and cried. Then I think back. All those faults are not hers. It's mine. I'm stupid enough to dump someone as special as Suzy. I realized all my mistakes. And it was then when I had lost my feelings for Angel. I had no longer love her because we were not as serious as when I was while I was with Suzy. So to make things right again, I broke up with Angel. Today morning, I woke up at 3.30 am. Just so that I can talk to Suzy. "Suzy, do u still love me?", I asked. And to my expectations, she said "Yes, Kenny, I still love you." Since we broke up because we were being silly, I get back to her. And from now on, I vow that I will love her till the end of my life. I will be sure that she will be my last lover. For now, I am sure that she is the one. She is my "missing-wing" to make me complete.