Thursday,Aug 10 2006, 05:59:17 PMreflection

I’m still here doing the thing that matters to me most, I never taught myself, it seems I just figured out how to put my heart into something that matters to me most.  I don’t know whether to blast off at a few individuals or creatively reconstruct the individual that has now graced you with his words in “Far from Home”.  I don’t know where it was taking me, whether I was free of the constraints that had me uplifted, or to just that love that still eludes me to this very day.  I’ve been blessed with such honor and prestige to be in love with such beauties that still remain in the back of my mind.  I’ve learned a lot over the past few years to kissing beautiful girls, converting with such educated geniuses, been through so much which so many of you have learnt about over the past few years. 

My life is more than what it is, It can be whatever you want it to be, whether it be a black tunnel, or sunny on a beautiful Sunday morning.  “Far from Home” is here delivered to everyone in the mail.  Its time for me to move on from that though it remains in the back of my mind a love so precious. 

I’ve been fortunate enough to let my life breathe the way I have stressed it.  My family far from home, the many individuals who have surrounded over the time, and that lost love that walked away into pitch dark.  I’ve experienced a great degree throughout my quest for life itself, as I only know.  I live my life not according to others or the sky that seems that his has destiny within it, its simply something that never ends in my mind, I want to see beyond it because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I see that now in regards to life itself.

There’s a message in my words you have to decode it to the best of your ability.  I’m standing at the bottom of the map, I have yet to see to beauty of my city as well as my world let alone what it has to offer me, I here Italy is a sight to see. 

This love of mine seems to elude me still after such a long period of time, I still find myself wanting to empty out my thoughts and dreams to you love.  Time has passed, we have grown beyond us so long ago, I still live there dreaming about your beautiful appearance that use to grace me but now only in my dreams god bless your baby boy once again, you don’t need advice but live for him like you lived for us, cant nobody hold him down.  I have to much soft spoken words for you my love, I’ve cleared my agenda’s, wrote a book about your love, I’ve uttered my thoughts, become someone I knew along time ago, and still am to this very day.  Truth is I think I know what it takes to make you happy but really I have no clue all I can do is dream and that’s all I've done of you love.  Its been long enough love to see your face all I hold is a picture of us in my dream and its killing me that I cant even be graced with your very existence, yet your just a phone call away, and just a bus ride down the block. 

I heard Mary sing and I thought to myself I had to speak to you again not physically but through words not hoping you know how I feel but to get a lot of my chest that has plagued my mind for quite some time. 

I sit here tea in hand such a common thing of me, snowflakes trickling down, brushing everything in its path so soft and kind, lady like.  I’m caught at a pause once again, reminiscing way too much into a love that once was, and appears never to attach to me again.  I stand at happiness in my heart for you, but I fail to be at peace of mind with us, I don’t know whether it is because a lot was left unsaid, my heart stays forbidden to say so much, however I find peace of mind state my heart onto a paper that never talks back, just reiterates what I fail to utter to u very heart looking within your beautiful eyes while mine appears to be a leaky faucet as I begin to imagine myself uttering just the words I love you.  I become implacent with thoughts of you filled with so much thoughts of what if my life hadn’t went down the way it did, if you didn’t fall out of place through life’s tractable road that seem paved for the both of us not left to follow.  I feel like you were a miracle that I believed in so much, I was not one to believe in not to much until my eyes were placed upon you miss.  You’re the one who told me to believe that these miracles were real, your very words were to zone out with you and let myself go, and be free for awhile while nature took its place and loved followed behind us and guided us through every step of the way. 

We were destined to be something close to greatness if not that.  We were simply something special, I paint a vivid picture of how we would look together today, while you are away in my heart rocking your son to sleep as I pray for your first child and every success that he endeavors god bless the child.  I want to say so much so I ask of your acceptance while I write the letters in my as I make vivid sense of what has taken place in your absence, since you have been gone.  They say I have become a miracle I say yes, they say the kid is a writer in the making something special I say no, I disagree with a lot of accusations a couple things are for sure I have been declared a king, sometimes ignorant they say, I try to be modest and humble but its like they wont accept it, they keep pulling me back in.  I have no choice but to take all that comes and deals with it as long as they never take my pen and pad away.  My itself I remain shackled with these chains with thoughts and visions just to dream about never to come true reason being I have not a ounce of control over, but let my words speak for itself if your going to feel me, then your going to feel me that’s that, I have not pinch of control over that either, my words however seem to speak for itself so listen and place close attention into so many things that have been going on walk with me.

Love stays vacant in the back of my mind while I await your ghostly image.  I wish you could feel me the way I cried after such a long period of time since you’ve been gone.  I feel like I love you more that life itself at times, because you remain in my mind more than I think about my own god damn sole, your I want more than life itself, I feel bold making these statements, stating these words but to be real these appear to be just the facts because when you have fell in love the way I have there’s not much to envision or imagine more than perfection itself.  A lot of people are going to be offended at a lot of the things that I am saying but to be real that’s all I can do is give you and my surroundings the gutter truth.

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Thursday,Aug 10 2006, 05:55:27 PMThe other side of things

I was introduced with no introduction

Revealed with no red carpet

Connected to an extension cord ...

Read More...

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