Tuesday,May 29 2007, 01:20:25 AMeveryday a stimulate

I found this message today:-

"Hi mb. Go to cinema now. Will call you when finish. Kisses"

Obviously this message is sent by Gil to the lady on Sunday before I went to the movie with Gil. By the way, the initial of the lady's name is NOT "mb". What the hell is that?!?!

I am trying not to think the meaning of "mb".  But this is annoying and struggling in my whole body again

Damn it!

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Wednesday,May 23 2007, 04:32:36 AMleave him or not?

Whenever I "fight" with Gil, whole morning (at least) my heart doesn't feel good and getting nervous all time.

Normally I was not going to react; just pretend nothing has happened & trying to make jokes. Today I kept silence but kind of bad face to Gil.

I was in dilemma and strugling in my heart.  This is because I feel sorry after I had such reacts.  However, at a moment, I was thinking "Why I can't do that? He was doing something worse which hurts me much!". All of a sudden, another voice came out "You should not think like this. Can't count and compare things like this. Be rational and most important: You love him ma."

Ummm... Does this action reflect something? Like I have less patience than the past?

I want to leave him or not?

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