Sex in the Dark

 

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him of this habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. 'You impotent bastard,'

She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

'I'll explain the toy . . You explain the kids.'

Send this to 5 people or else you'll have a bad sex Life FOREVER

THE WEDDING TEST

My girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year
when we decided to get
married. My parents helped us in every
way, and my
friends encouraged me.
My girlfriend? She was a dream! There
was only one
thing bothering me.
That one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty
years of age, wore tight
miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend d! own when near
me, and I got many a pleasant view of
her underwear. It had to be
deliberate. She never did it when she
was near anyone else.
One day little sister calls and asked me
to come
over to check the wedding
invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
She whispered to me that soon I was to
be married,
and she had feelings and
desires for me that she could not
overcome and did
not really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love
to me just
once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and could not say a
word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my
bedroom, and if
you want to go ahead
with it just come up and get me." I was
stunned.

I was frozen in shock as I watched her
go up the
stairs. When she reached

the top, she pulled down her panties and
threw them
down the stairs at me.
I stood there for a moment, then turned
and! went
straight to the front
door. I opened the door and stepped out
of the
house and walked straight
toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing
outside. With
tears in his eyes, he
hugged me and said, "We are very happy
that you have
passed our little test. We could not ask
for a better man for
our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

The moral of this story is.....
Always keep your condoms in your car.

(Don't avoid Pls read this mail)
FROM Arvind Khamitkar , I.A.S , Director of Medical
& Research Div,
Chennai

Dear Friends,

A few weeks ago, in a movie theatre, a person felt
something poking from her seat.
When she got up to see what it was, she found a
needle sticking out of the seat with a note attached saying
 
"You have just been infected by
HIV".
 
The Disease Control Center (in Paris ) reports many similar
events in many other cities recently. All tested needles were HI V Positive.

The Center also reports that needles have been found
in cash dispensers at public banking machines. We ask everyone to use extreme caution when faced with
this kind of situation. All public chairs/seats should be inspected with vigilance and caution before use. A careful visual inspection should be enough. In addition, they ask that each of you pass this message along to all members of your family and your friends of the potential danger.

Recently, one doctor has narrated a somewhat similar
instance that hppened to one of his patients at the Priya Cinema in Delhi . A young girl, engaged and about to be married in a couple of months, was *****ed while the movie
was going on. The tag with the needle had the message
 
"Welcome to the World of HIV family".
 
Though the doctors told her family that it takes about 6
months before the virus grows strong enough to start
damaging the system and a healthy victim could survive about 5-6 years, the girl died in 4 months, perhaps more because of the "Shock thought".
We all have to be careful at public places, rest God help! Just think about saving a life by forwarding this message. Please, take a few seconds of your time to pass along.


With Regards, Arvind Khamitkar ,
I.A.S, Director of Medical & Research Div, Chennai.

Rather than forwarding irrelevant mails, kindly pass
this to every one.
Probably ur mail can help to save his/her life   
    
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