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As the sun sank into
the depths of the ocean, darkness overwhelmed the sky and transformed its
original bright blue into a dark golden grey. Clouds began to appear as my hair
was swaying in the cool summer breeze. I was overcome with a sense of serenity which
inflamed my heart with the desire to question the true meaning of my being.
While
listening to the remarkable sound of stillness, I wondered if there is more to
life than habitual beliefs and common sense. Logical reasoning insisted that
what I’m saying made no sense, while on the other hand, a feeling of peace and
companionship made me feel unique, special and wanted. A feeling of uncertainty
and ambiguity flowed into my doubtful mind trying to find a resting place with
answers for my qualms. Before I got a lucid reply, I fell into a deep trance
where I introspectively examined myself as a physical being and as an
emotional, intellectual, and spiritual being. As I swam deeper into the ocean
of philosophy, I found that, all through the past stages of my life, I was
imprisoned in the prejudices derived from common sense, from habitual beliefs
of this age, and from convictions which have grown up in my mind without the
co-operation of my deliberate reason. The world tended to be definite, finite,
and obvious. I woke up from my deep trance and attempted to seek the true
meaning of my being, neglecting the claims of logic and common sense. After a while of gazing and wondering I
realized that I am living in a small, limited world in the midst of a great and
powerful world and that all through my life, my mind was a garrison in a
beleaguered fortress and the enemy, being common sense and logic, was
preventing escape. I stood up from the swing on my balcony and slowly walked
towards the rail while looking deeper in absolute darkness. The indescribable sensation
of what seemed to be love, care and emotion had finally settled in my blazing
heart satisfying it with warmth of companionship. The chilly breeze in the wind
made me feel as if someone was watching and talking to me. I looked at the
numerous stars in the shadowy sky for a while; Then at the brilliant shapes in
the clouds. After that my eyes descended to the endless calm sea and back up to
the astonishing masterpiece in the sky and I said: “God, thank you for showing
me the true significance of life and my being. Thank you for exposing my eyes
to the heavenly realm thus setting me free from the boundaries of logic, common
sense and habitual beliefs. I truly was blind but now I see. ”
As I
walked back towards my room, I felt an inexplicable sensation of love,
compassion, adoration, devotion, care, peace, and true joy. I felt as if I
finally met my father for the first time in my existence. I smiled and for a
split second, I truly sensed He smiled back at me and wished me a good night. I
felt I was loved and wanted and indeed I had a good, peaceful night that
night.
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Beirut
Lebanon