Journals
Wednesday,Jul 27 2005, 06:17:38 AM<3
I love my family. It was worth driving back to bay area on an arbitrary Tuesday (or not so arbitrarily) just to have dinner with them -- because it gives me that inner happiness. It also makes all the tough times of working full time seem like nothing. As soon as I think about my family members all my bad feelings about working go away. =) I don't know why, ever since I started working, I just incredibly miss my family. -- driving around the whole Folsom town and going to the party (hosted by the Recent College Graduates group at Intel) with Thaya last night was pretty cool. it totally gives me the feeling that i'm working and not in school anymore. on the other hand, driving back to Davis from Folsom at night after the party was over felt incredibly lonely (even tho Thaya was with me), adventurous, and empty. wasn't empty from leaving the party, it's just the whole idea of working full time and there just isn't as many friends and close people around me anymore. Thaya and i talked about working life again on the ride back, as it has become one of our most popular topic to talk about since we carpool just about every day from and to work now (before he moves to Sac or Folsom anyway, which will be like a month from now). we came to a conclusion that we both agree -- life is so dull like this. it isn't like what it was before anymore. every day it's just working from early morning till evening, then it's only a couple hours of free time at night which you can't really do that much. there has to be a way to change this. --- in other news, this is from someone else's journal (whom i won't disclose since i'm being stalkerish here but i already kinda got used to reading her journal regularly so it's not really even about stalking anymore, just for interest): The truth about video game violence I know it's probably TLDR (too long, didn't read) material for most of you, but just look at the graphs, that's all you really need to look. and if you really don't want to read a word from the article, i'll tell you that: the statistics are right from U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Statistics.
Tuesday,Jul 26 2005, 07:38:48 AM18
i'll step away from talking about 浮誇 for a little bit... and talk about another song. an older one.
a song called "18" by Beyond.
love both the music and the lyrics.
從不知天高與地厚 漸學會很多困憂
也試過制度和自由
也許不再沒有 又或者不想再追究
我發覺這地球原來很大 但靈魂已經敗壞
如用這歌 可以代表我
幫我為你加一點付和
假使可以 全沒隔阻
可以代表我 可以伴你不管福或禍
這樣已是很足夠
從相簿中跟我又再會面 輕翻起每一片
十八歲再度浮面前
也許一切在變 又或者始終沒打算
我與我分開已很遠很遠 在浪潮兜兜轉轉
如用這歌 可以代表我
幫我為你加一點付和
假使可以 全沒隔阻
可以代表我 可以伴你不管福或禍
這樣已是很足夠
這樣已是很足夠
Sunday,Jul 24 2005, 08:20:29 AMworkplace thoughts
on friday, i actually felt useful for the first time. i felt like being viewed as important. the few days before (all mon-thurs) i felt like i was just one of the many other new employees coming in to intel this summer, and i'm just coming in to assimilate into one of the many (thousands) workers here. it really felt like i was of no significance no matter what i do. i guess that's a disadvantage about working in a big company.
i don't know why though, on friday i met some people on other teams (in the same sup-group) who somewhat automatically assumed i was one of the more important guys on the team as they were talking to me. i just get that feeling from the way they talk to me. i went into fantasy mode again and i thought that perhaps my supervisor (which is the one who hired me) mentioned to others that he can see me becoming one of the more important guys in this root group in the future. of course that's a fantasy and i don't think that's true; it was probably just a mistake or maybe i just have that high-level-management-guy look on my face naturally, which lead them into thinking (mistakenly) that i'm more important than i really am.
but this was a nice self-esteem boost, i actually felt more motivated to work.
近日工作間遇上許多公司內不同的人。
他們都有不同的性格和特徵。
他們廣泛的性格和深厚的實力令我想起很像武俠小說中的人物。
就再上一個meeting﹐遇到這些各式不同的人﹕
兩個冷面少說話的﹐看似實力深厚的傢伙﹐就像楊肖范遙﹔
本領高強的高級主管像是張三豐般﹔
我的manager常有新構思和意念﹐想事很清又常給我advice像是義父謝遜般﹔
很喜歡開玩笑和態度很laid-back的那個Database Admin卻又實力非凡令我想起周伯通(我知不是倚天屠龍記的﹐但想不起倚天中一個類似的人物)﹔
還有幾個和我年齡相若﹐剛剛踏入江湖互相扶持又要奮鬥力爭上游的少年就像常遇春﹐徐達﹐楊不悔等人﹔
還有我這個年紀最小的小伙子正在成長學習著﹐就像張無忌般。
Friday,Jul 22 2005, 01:34:00 AMyou have no chance to survive make your time.
i don't know why that line came up in my mind when i was writing this but... (from "all your base")
you have no right to complain, shut your mouth.
when you are not paying any monthly rent, or sharing any electricity and phone/internet bills, and you are living in my goddamn apartment and using up MY living room space, which i promptly paid for in my rent -- you have no right to say ANYTHING about ANYTHING i do, in my own goddamn apartment, at any goddamn time i desire.
i would like to remind you that the fucking space you're taking up in my living room, is what i've paid for, and i simply don't use it because i don't want to and rather stay in my room. that applies for the bathroom and kitchen as well. don't get me even started about you staying here all goddamn day spending MY electricity bill with your computer, lights, AC, and everything else.
in all technical sense, i could take a shit on the clothes that you put in the bathroom and you still have no right to complain. so DON'T YOU GO WHINING ABOUT ANYTHING I DO THAT ISN'T SATISFACTORY TO YOU. if you were my housemate and you paid rent and bills legitimately, i'll agree to anything you don't like if i disturbed you. but since you're not any of them NOR their wives but only girlfriend(s), technically you are no one, and have no right to BE IN THIS FUCKING PLACE AT ALL. i have every right to just call the apartment office and get you kicked the fuck out of here any time i desire. that means my alarm snooze will go off every 5 mins for as many times in the morning as i want it to, i'll be as noisy as i want in the morning rushing to the bathroom, and i can stay up however late i want playing music loudly, i don't fucking care if you have insomnia or amnesia (irrelevant). if you don't like it here, get the fuck out of here, nothing is blocking the doorway, you can help yourself.
--
the only reason i am not speaking up about this is because, knowing my luck, this will first piss off (every one of) my housemates (which is not my interest to do, and they didn't do anything wrong either anyway), and the moment this begins to happen my bad luck will kick in and i'll somehow suddenly have a girlfriend which i'll bring in and they'll start kicking her out. (i have no idea how that can happen seeing as there's nobody even close to being in that position at the moment, but i just know that with my luck i can totally see this coming) whatever bad thing i do ALWAYS comes back to bite me in the fucking ass; otherwise i would totally be kicking them out right about now.
Wednesday,Jul 20 2005, 03:53:26 AMupdate
so many things i don't know, SO much to learn. all these EE/computer architecture stuff, mixing with statistics stuff. after all, that is exactly what my job position does, even if i'm going to be the programming-oriented guy in the group.
it is pretty cool though, as Thaya said, that there are so many training courses in Intel to take (5000+!). there are all kinds of subjects from really technical programming ones to like sales and marketing ones or even how to work with other people and so on.
first two days already overwhelmed with information... both technical information about what my group is doing and what i need to do soon, and general information about working in intel. it felt like 4 days have passed. (the morning and afternoon of each day felt like 2 separate days and 2 full days of workload).... i wished tomorrow was friday. =(
in other news, finally made the first step to learning guitar.
and lastly....
i still cannot believe i'm a full time in the workforce already. it just doesn't feel like it. imagine! when you're watching tv dramas and movies you see those guys working at their jobs. now i'm one of them. it still feels like i'm going back to school after summer, it feels like a summer internship or something.