Journals
Monday,Oct 31 2005, 06:15:32 PMrecent life
i miss denise and eric group! havent been hanging out with them for a looong time now. i got "replaced" by edwin and raymond in those pics.
recently i spend a lot of time with the exchange kids instead.
william, me, jerry, winky, june at cattlemen's in dixon.
winky, william, evera, june, jerry, me at fillmore K in oakland.
Wednesday,Oct 26 2005, 08:44:14 PMCare
I remember that I used to be a pretty caring and sensitive person. I've always felt the need to care for others' feelings in doing whatever I do. I've also always had the intention to help people around me as much as I can.
It seems that years in the "outside world" (the last couple of years in college included) have changed me to a different person. I have the mindset of "you can't always help everyone/care about everyone's feelings" shoved pretty firmly in me. I started to care less about others and more about myself. It's not that I became a mean person or anything and not care about other people's feelings. But I prioritize things right and do "the right things" instead. I wouldn't let the flow of the "big picture" go wrong simply because of a couple of individuals' feelings. In Chinese you'd say that I have no 人情味. What Eason said in the movie 神經俠侶: "We do what we are supposed to do; we can't always help every person on the streets."
Perhaps it's just the way it works in America in general. Why would I say this? Because recently hanging out with these exchange kids from HK has reminded me of the way I used to be. Of course it also helps that they are nice people. June, Winky and William showing up in my life have made me realize what kind of a person I have been lately, 令我不致變成一個沒有人情味的機械人. It wasn't really any particular things that they do. It's simply the general way they act and treat people that you can see their caring of others around them.
--
Reminder of next writing topic:
Working environment
Sunday,Oct 23 2005, 11:20:38 AMFill in the colors
近來認識了一班新的朋友。
他們是很健康﹐活潑和好動的一班孩子。
(Haha... some of them are probably older than I am.. but I am calling them kids just because they are still in school and I'm not anymore. Therefore, they are kids to me)
和他們一起玩真的為我沉悶的上班日子增添不少色彩。
我很喜歡和他們hang out﹐到處遊歷或者閑逛。
這班人中的兩個女仔只有在這Fall Quarter留在Davis...
之後便會回港了。
我決定在這段時間內陪這班嘩鬼一起玩﹐一起瘋。
不知怎的在他們有困難時都很想幫助他們。
沒關係。其實如果他們都幫我的上班生活生色不少﹐幫一下人實在不算什麼。
--
Recently, I met some new friends.
They are very healthy, active and outgoing kids.
(Haha... some of them are probably older than I am.. but I am calling them kids just because they are still in school and I'm not anymore. Therefore, they are kids to me)
Playing/chilling with them really adds a lot of colors to my dull and boring work days.
I like to hang out with them a lot, touring places or just browsing leisurely.
Two of the girls in this group of people will only stay in Davis this Fall Quarter...
And then they'll go back to HK.
I decided that within this period of time I'll play and hang with these kids.
I don't know why I really want to help them when they encounter something.
Doesn't matter. Actually, since they filled my life with much colors, helping them a bit is really nothing.
Wednesday,Oct 19 2005, 07:46:54 AMvarious topics
I found out that I often have to "convince myself" to work. On majority of the mornings I wake up not really wanting to go to work. I often have to think of stuff like, "if I keep this up, I can do this this on the weekend..." to get myself motivated to even go to work. I didn't have to do this in school. I liked school. I never had to tell myself something (that is unrelated to school) to look forward to in order to get myself through school days. The process of going to school is something I don't mind doing itself. But work is different. Maybe I'm still too new. I can't get myself to think of work the same way as my co-workers do. Every now and then I try to think of "work" as a different type of thing. A while ago I tried to think of "work" as something I just have to go and spend my time at, but I can really do whatever I want. I'll do my regular routines there like checking bank accounts, paying credit card bills, and all that stuff at work. It's just that when the company wants me to do something, I am there to do it. That made me feel better for a while, but work is still dull nonetheless. I know for a fact that in a few years, I'm going to get a new job. This hasn't changed a slight bit ever since I started work 3 months ago. I hope that this will be the same in 3 years. I really, really don't want to become one of those zombie guys who just go to work and go back home every day and be obsessed with work pretty much, and stay in the company for 10+ hours a day. It scares me. The scarier thing is, most of the people I met at Intel are like that. I'm afraid to think that after 3 years I might lose my desire to change jobs and just stay there forever of my life. -- In other news, that "Maclure" stuff was actually from a dream. A few days ago I had a dream that I was diagnosed with a terminal disease (uncurable disease? is that the right term), and it was called Maclure. to be accurate I think it was called Ma14clure or something in the dream. I don't know why it was so clear and detailed. The scary thing was that the whole dream was so real. It felt so real because everything else that was happening was all real life events going on at that time. In fact I thought it was real until the moment I woke up. I felt so scared when I was awake. In the dream, I only had a short period of time left to live. What worries me a bit is that the dream was so detailed and clear, it feels like it could have been one of those prophecy dreams. You know those stories with people having dreams about airplane crashing and cancelling their trip, and their original flight did end up crashing at the end?
Friday,Oct 14 2005, 08:03:19 PMCSA welcome nite
CSA welcome night was the best time i've had in a while. it's days like this that make me still want to stay in davis even though it takes me an hour drive to and from folsom. it really makes months of daily driving worth it. nice planning done by the CSA officers for the event. comparing to HKSA on wednesday night which was crap, this one was soooo good. i thought that last year's CSA welcome nigth was pretty nice too, but this year's one was better again. HKSA has gotta learn. last year's CSA orientation (their first year) was better than this year HKSA's (their first year too).
I guess I should talk about HKSA on wednesday night first. The first impression I got when entering the room was really good. I didn't expect so many people to show up. I thought they did good advertisement or something. Turns out they didn't really do much of it and only started a few days ago. I have no idea why so many people came. But the activities following were disappointing. Games were boring and there were basically no other things to do other than telling us to sign up.
And then I was afraid. I don't think CSA welcome nights in the past year had that many people showed up. Does that mean people are only interested in seeing a "HKSA" instead of a "CSA"? and are people not going to come to CSA the next day because HKSA's welcome night was such a disappointment?
Fortunately all of that worries were gone when I came in the CSA welcome night room on Thurs. I've NEVER seen so many people showed up on any club activity I've been to (well other than the singing contests). and the planning of the activities were well done too. It's a lot better than those TCSS welcome nights even though TCSS has been around for ages. There was some introductions and stuff, some competition games, and some random games around the whole place like Mah Jong, Poker, Chinese Chess, Dice, etc etc. I met a few new people at the place. It was the only disappointment -- since there were too many people and too many people I haven't seen before (and also tons that I know), I couldn't really get to meet that many new people. Anyway, the whole night was overall just lots of fun, lots of people, and lots going on everywhere in the place. Jerry came to the event with me, driving all the way up from San Jose after work, being stuck in traffic for 3 hrs on the way up (I was 30 min late because of that). He said it was worth going to even with all that.
A few of us stayed till the end of the event, leaving just before the officers clean up. After that me and Jerry and Teresa and Faith (a girl we just met) came over to my apartment to play guitar. Ghetto Ray joined shortly after, when he was done with the clean up. It was a lotta fun too hanging out at my place. I haven't had so many people come over to hang out in a long time. At some point I cooked red sauce pasta for everybody. Glad to say my cooking is at least good enough to "show people" now. We played till 2am or so. I know it would have to be hell on the next day of work but it's ok, it's all worth it. I really don't mind the boring and dull days of working if I can just have one of these good fun days once in a while.