Journals
Thursday,Nov 19 2009, 10:00:13 AMLetter to a bank manager by a 86 yearold lady
86-year old lady's letter to bank
Shown below is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.
Dear Sir:
i am writing to 'thank you for bouncing my check wi!th which i endeavoured to
pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations; three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. i refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only elght years. You are to be commended for seizlng that briefe window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty fort the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.
I noticed that whereas I personlliy answer your telephone calls and letters, when ! try to contact you I am confronted by the impersonai, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will herefore and hereafter no longer be automatic. but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is ani offence under the Posta! Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to comp!ete, i am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Pubiic, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabiiities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course) at my convenience; i will issue your employee
with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. ! regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again. I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form or flattery.
Let nle level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as folliows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALLINIG, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR
ENGliSH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the cali to my living room-in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet In case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if i am not at home
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8 To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7
#9 To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10 This is a second reminder to press * for English. Whilst this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettabiy, but again foliowing your example, i must also levy an establishment fee to cover the cost of setting up of this new arrangement.Mlay I you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client - :-
(Remember: This was written by an 86 year old woman) !
You have . JUST GOTTA..LOVE US SENIORS' !!!!!
And remember: Don't make old ladies mad. They don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to set them off.
Wednesday,Nov 4 2009, 05:20:03 AMNonsense
My friend Miriam Phillips, (BUT no relation!) said she wanted a world of nonsense So I quickly wrote this little verse for her NONSENSE In your world of nonsense, That which is now light Would become more dense. With the sun shining at night. Jokes would be serious; Works of classy art, Clearly mysterious, Now become too smart. Nothing is no more sane Past and future is now; And flowing in the Seine, A dry dog says meow! © Chris Phillips 2 Nov 2009 ! Slightly rewritten from original!
Wednesday,May 20 2009, 09:12:39 AMFamous people with my same birthday - July 23rd
- 645 – Yazid I, Sixth caliph of Islam (d. 683)
- 1301 – Duke Otto of Austria (d. 1339)
- 1339 – King Louis I of Naples (d. 1384)
- 1503 – Anna Jagello, Queen of the Romans (d. 1547)
- 1649 – Pope Clement XI (d. 1721)
- 1705 – Francis Blomefield, English topographer (d. 1752)
- 1775 – Etienne-Louis Malus, French physicist and mathematician (d. 1812)
- 1777 – Philipp Otto Runge, German painter (d. 1810)
- 1796 – Franz Berwald, Swedish composer (d. 1868)
- 1823 – Alexandre-Antonin Taché, Canadian Catholic priest and archbishop (d. 1894)
- 1838 – Edouard Judas Colonne, French violinist (d. 1910)
- 1851 – Charles Bannerman, Australian cricketer (d. 1930)
- 1856 – Lokmanya Tilak, Indian freedom fighter (d. 1920)
- 1864 – Apolinario Mabini, Filipino political theoretician and Prime Minister (d. 1903)
- 1865 – Max Heindel, Danish Christian occultist, astrologer, and mystic (d. 1919)
- 1884 – Emil Jannings, Swiss actor (d. 1950)
- 1885 – Georges V. Matchabelli, Perfumer (d. 1935)
- 1886 – Salvador de Madariaga, Spanish League of Nations official (d. 1978)
- 1886 – Walter H. Schottky, German physicist (d. 1976)
- 1888 – Raymond Chandler, American-born author (d. 1959)
- 1892 – Haile Selassie, Emperor of Ethiopia (d. 1975)
- 1894 – Arthur Treacher, English character actor (d. 1975)
- 1895 – Aileen Pringle, American actress (d. 1989)
- 1898 – Jacob Marschak, American economist (d. 1977)
- 1898 – Red Dutton, Canadian ice hockey player (d. 1987)
- 1899 – Gustav Heinemann, 3rd President of the Federal Republic of Germany (d. 1976)
- 1901 – Hank Worden, American actor and rodeo cowboy (d. 1992)
- 1906 – Vladimir Prelog, Croatian chemist, Nobel Prize laureate (d. 1998)
- 1906 – Chandrasekhar Azad, Indian revolutionary (d. 1931)
- 1912 – Michael Wilding, English actor (d. 1979)
- 1913 – Michael Foot, English politician
- 1914 – Virgil Finlay, American horror illustrator (d. 1971)
- 1918 – Bueno de Mesquita Dutch comedian and actor (d. 2005)
- 1918 – Pee Wee Reese, American baseball player (d. 1999)
- 1920 – Amalia Rodrigues, Portuguese fado singer (d. 1999)
- 1921 – Calvert DeForest, American actor (d. 2007)
- 1923 – Luis Aloma, Cuban baseball player (d. 1997)
- 1923 – Cyril M. Kornbluth, American writer (d. 1958)
- 1923 – Amalia Mendoza, Mexican singer (d. 2001)
- 1924 – Gavin Lambert, British-born screenwriter (d. 2005)
- 1927 – Gérard Brach, French film director and screenwriter (d. 2006)
- 1928 – Hubert Selby Jr., American author (d. 2004)
- 1931 – Te Atairangi Kaahu, Māori Queen (d. 2006)
- 1931 – Guy Fournier, French Canadian author and screenwriter
- 1931 – Claude Fournier, French Canadian film director and screenwriter
- 1933 – Bert Convy, American game show host and performer (d. 1991)
- 1935 – Jim Hall, American race car driver and constructor (Chaparral Cars)
- 1935 – Hein Heinsen, Danish artist
- 1936 – Don Drysdale, American baseball player (d. 1993)
- 1936 – Anthony Kennedy, U.S. Supreme Court Justice
- 1937 – Dave Webster, Led his football team to a National Championship in 1958
- 1938 – Juliet Anderson, American pornographic actress
- 1938 – Ronny Cox, American actor
- 1938 – Götz George, German actor
- 1938 – Charles Harrelson, American convicted murderer; father of Woody Harrelson (d. 2007)
- 1938 – Bert Newton, Australian actor and television show host
- 1939 ME
- 1940 – Don Imus, American talk radio host
- 1941 – Richie Evans, 9 time NASCAR Modified Champion (died at Martinsville in 1985)
- 1942 – Myra Hindley, English murderer (d. 2002)
- 1942 – Sallyanne Atkinson, Australian politician
- 1943 – Dr. Randall Forsberg, American nuclear freeze advocate (d. 2007)
- 1943 – Tony Joe White, American singer and songwriter
- 1947 – Gardner Dozois, American author
- 1947 – David Essex, English singer
- 1947 – Torsten Palm, Swedish racing driver
- 1948 – John Cushnahan, Northern Irish politician
- 1948 – John Hall, American politician and former rock musician
- 1949 – Clive Rice, former South African cricketer
- 1950 – Alex Kozinski, Romanian-born American judge
- 1950 – Blair Thornton, Canadian guitarist (Bachman-Turner Overdrive)
- 1950 – Alan Turner, Australian cricketer
- 1951 – Edie McClurg, American actress
- 1952 – Bill Nyrop, American ice hockey player (d. 1995)
- 1952 – Paul Hibbert, Australian cricketer
- 1953 – Graham Gooch, English cricketer
- 1957 – Theo van Gogh, Dutch film director (d. 2004)
- 1957 – Nick Galis, Greek basketball player
- 1957 – Rob S. Miles, Microsoft MVP and University lecturer
- 1959 – Nancy Savoca, American filmmaker
- 1960 – Al Perez, American professional wrestler
- 1961 – Martin Lee Gore, English musician and songwriter (Depeche Mode)
- 1961 – Woody Harrelson, American actor
- 1961 – André Ducharme, Canadian (Québécois) humorist (Rock et Belles Oreilles) and author
- 1961 – Michael Durant, American Helicopter pilot, shot down and held captive in Mogadishu, Somalia
- 1962 – Eriq La Salle, American actor
- 1964 – Ed Forchion, American marijuana activist
- 1965 – Rob Dickinson, English musician
- 1965 – Slash, American guitarist (Guns N' Roses)
- 1966 – Samantha Beckinsale, English actress
- 1967 – Titiyo, Swedish singer
- 1967 – Philip Seymour Hoffman, American actor
- 1968 – Nick Menza, American musician, drummer
- 1968 – Gary Payton, American basketball player
- 1968 – Stephanie Seymour, American supermodel
- 1970 – Charisma Carpenter, American actress
- 1970 – Thea Dorn, German writer
- 1971 – Dalvin DeGrate, American singer
- 1971 – Alison Krauss, American singer and fiddler
- 1971 – Chris Michalek, American musician
- 1971 – Christopher Lee, Singaporean actor and model
- 1971 – Joel Stein, American journalist
- 1972 – Marlon Wayans, American actor
- 1972 – Floyd Reifer, West Indian cricketer
- 1973 – Nomar Garciaparra, American baseball player
- 1973 – Omar Epps, American actor
- 1973 – Francis Healy, Scottish rock musician (Travis)
- 1973 – Monica Lewinsky, American White House intern
- 1973 – Himesh Reshammiya, Indian Bollywood composer, singer and actor.
- 1974 – Terry Glenn, American football player
- 1974 – Maurice Greene, American athlete
- 1974 – Stephanie March, American actress
- 1974 – Sonny Siaki, Samoan-born professional wrestler
- 1974 – Rik Verbrugghe, Belgian cyclist
- 1974 – Kathryn Hahn, American actress
- 1975 – Seong Hyeon-ah, South Korean actress
- 1975 – Surya Sivakumar, Tamil actor
- 1976 – Judit Polgár, Hungarian chess player
- 1976 – Jonathan Gallant, Canadian musician (Billy Talent)
- 1977 – Neicer Reasco, Ecuadorian footballer
- 1977 – Scott Clemmensen, American ice hockey player
- 1978 – Stuart Elliott, Northern Irish footballer
- 1978 – Stefanie Sun, Singaporean singer
- 1979 – Perro Aguayo, Jr., Mexican professional wrestler
- 1979 – Ricardo Sperafico, Brazilian racing driver
- 1979 – Richard Sims, Zimbabwean cricketer
- 1980 – Michelle Williams, American singer (Destiny's Child)
- 1981 – Steve Jocz, Canadian drummer (Sum 41)
- 1981 – Jarkko Nieminen, Finnish tennis player
- 1982 – Gerald Wallace, American basketball player
- 1983 – Andrew Eiden, American actor
- 1983 – Bec Hewitt, Australian actress
- 1983 – Aaron Peirsol, American swimmer
- 1983 – David Strettle, English rugby player (Harlequins)
- 1984 – Brandon Roy, American professional basketball player
- 1984 – Matthew Murphy, English musician (The Wombats)
- 1985 – Luis Ángel Landín, Mexican footballer
- 1985 – Matthew Colin Bailey, Author, Architect
- 1986 – Ayaka Komatsu, Japanese model and actress
- 1986 – Nelson Philippe, French racing driver
- 1986 – Reece Ritchie, English actor
- 1988 – Pippa Bennett-Warner, English actress
- 1989 – Daniel Radcliffe, English actor
- 1996 – Rachel G. Fox, American actress
No one ON MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY LOL
*SMILES*
Friday,May 15 2009, 10:04:09 AMVegan Chocolate cake Reciepe
CHOCOLATE CAKE
40z (100g) raw cane sugar
2 dessertspoonsful cocoa or carob powder
½ teaspoonful sea salt (or salt)
60z (200g) 81 per cent or 100 per cent wholemeal flour (or wholemeal flower with the bran sieved out)
3 floz (80ml) vegetable oil
1 teaspoonful vanilla essence
¾ teaspoonful bicarbonate of soda
1 dessertspoonful cider vinegar or ½ teaspoon of cream of tartar
(OR instead of the Bicarb & Cream of Tartar you can use 1 teaspoon of Baking powder)
one third of a pint (200ml) cold water
Mix the sugar, cocoa (or carob), salt, flour and bicarbonate of soda well in a mixing bowl.
Add the oil, vanilla essence and vinegar and pour cold water over the mixture.
Combine well with a fork, but do not beat.
Pour into two greased sandwich tins (lined if desired) and bake in a moderate oven at 350°F/180°C(GasMark4) for 30 minutes or until the cake springs back when lightly pressed Leave to cool thoroughly.
Note: This cake may be iced with Chocolate Icing, if desired .
Cindy liked it so it must be good!
*Smiles*
Wednesday,Apr 29 2009, 06:05:00 AMA sad Story
At last I felt I had to write about this.
It was the sad music/tune, that Dukefan posted in my forum about saddest Sonngs
It made me think of a "daughter" (Internet kind) who recently said GOODBY! I still have not replied to her message telling me she didn't want to be in contact any more. I felt so hurt. I only partly understood her reasons
It is a long and complicated story! Believe me there is a LOT more, but I can't and dont't want to post everything here.
Basically I have known her since she was 16 and I was 61! She has been through a great number of bad times, and those are not yet over, But in 2000, the first time i "met" her in a Yahoo group our friendship seemed like one of those platonic relationships. Her life as a child was very difficult for her as her mother was violent to her when on the drink, and her father (whom she loved) was away a lot. I have actually spoken to both her Mother & father on the phone, as well as her herself. That was before I knew how bad things were between her and her mum. When she was 12 to 14 two of her teachers had sexually assaulter her (I believe) at school, and that caused her to have depression, Bi Polar, I think. She had a control freek of a b/f for several years, whom she loved, but he was always trying to stop her having friends he was the terribly jealous kind. He threatend suicide if she left him and she tried three times and went back (Because of that) then she finally made the break, and before he could get her back again she met another man who she said made her feel special. The previous b/f never comitted suicide, By the way! She took on the typing up of about a eight of my fathers plays, for me when she was between school & University. She told me she just loved typing, and often typed up her fellow students work for them. She did complete that, well, but it was well over a year before it was done. Her Bipolar depression got the better of her I think. I paid her for her work, even though she insisted I shouldn't, But I know at the time she NEEDED money for something. I did meet her for two hours in Perth (Austrailia) she said the new b/f was not at all happy about that! (I suspect he is another control freak) But at that time she was in TERRIBLE pain, and had to go to USA to see a specialist, and then in November she had a SERIOUS operation on her spine, and I was terribly worried and was praying and sending her cards to let her know I was thinking of her.
It was just after she returned home that the email arrived saying that she didn't want me to contact her again, as she had her life to live, and was going to be in pain the rest of her life, and wanted to concentrate on her friends and university study. But I think her b/F told her to end our relationship as he was jealous (This is only what I guess, I don't know!) I will have to try and make at least one more email to her asking about the book I am writing, which will include my visit when I met her in Perth. I am asking all I met to OK what I am writing about the meeting up. I will also be giving all those I met a copy of the book! I just don't know the best way to put it though. What was so upsertting was that suddeness of her breaking up just as I was still feeling so strongly about her recovering from her operation. It came as quite a shock. I dont want to say anything to upset her.
But I want to know how she is. But she said NOT to conact her. OR HER PARENTS!
In Her last email she said some lovely things, but she wanted me to respect her wishes.
I have been thinking about this since begining of December. And Dukefans sad song reminded me of this, and I felt I had to write about it.
*smiles, sad ones*