Tuesday,Jul 31 2007, 06:58:28 AMCurrent Affairs

I have just written another  weird poem

See  what you think of this!  LOL

CURRENT AFFAIRS

Cath and Ann were each other's twin
Both in love with the green Earth
Inseparable and wirey thin
They've been together from their birth.
 
Their capacity for love is never ending
Bound together in some rubber sheath.
Always together and always bending
To be at the bottom, underneath.
 
Their name is Ode. One's in Blue
And the other is pale brown
Cath is a positive little shrew
Whilst Ann is a negative clown.
 
They all met up in the same group
Now they advertise with a plug.
Always together like a troupe
An electrically charged jitterbug.
 
Their power together is quite shocking,
When they touch, there's quite a jolt
And when together they are locking
Their difference is more than just a volt.
 
Cath has much power over Ann.
For Cath is live and Ann's neutral.
Earth will make an electric plan
Something that's quite frugal.
 
This strange and shocking love affair
Is powered by fast flowing electrons
And most of us are quite unaware
Of peculiar and wired liaisons.
 
The potential differences are quite large,
And the little amps will only flow
When contact causes a huge discharge;
And the safety fuse does quickly blow.
 
Now poor Ann & Cath Ode
Have lost their electrical worth
Watts left after bearing the load?
Well that is all Down to Earth.

© Chris Phillips 31 July 2007

*SMILES*

Saturday,Jul 21 2007, 12:47:25 PM~#~ PARTY IN ZORPIA ~#~

WHAT's  the celebration?

The start of my 69th journey around the sun.  On July 23 2007 I will have been around he sun 68 times,  The moon will have been round me about 884  times. the Sun will have apparently risen or set about 24,854  times , and a  clock will have ticked away  for 2,147,385,600 seconds.

Now  that is  surely worth  celebrating!

WHERE?

Starting in my personal Group  www.zorpia.com/group/grandpa_chris_friends

Those who are already members just come along, those on my friends' list join, but I will have to approve you.  Others who want to come but not on my friends list, IF, and only IF,  I know you then still ask, and if I recognise you, you will be able to join!

So who's coming?

Well I hope all  my friends will look in  and say hi

Please bring a PHOTO of yourself when a baby if you can.  But A pet or other animal that you love if you have no baby photo of yourself  (Baby upto 3 years old!)

I will provide some drinks, and  vegan food  nibbles  and make a huge stirfry  (As in my video  LOL)

Only my "chldren"  will get "woompahs"the rest will get hand shakes or pats on the back or hugs  (Your choice).  You might get kisses  too!

If we get full up  we may go into open forum!

*SMILES*  The longest word

(OH!  by the way Fancy Dress is allowed)

HAVE FUN

LOVE & PEACE

Chris

Friday,Jul 20 2007, 06:33:19 AM"WET" by A. Drip

This article was originally written in 1962 by me and first published
in "Badger" published by the Student's Union of the Medway College of
Technology Chatham Kent UK.

I wrote a number of similar articles in that period of my life. IF
YOU DON'T WANT to see any more, please let me know, otherwise you are in
danger of getting more such nonsense thrust up on you!

Now read (if you dare!!!)

"WET"   By a Drip. (written when at College in 1962)

It rains, just that. Rain; It may snow, or hail but it is
still rain or precipitation of some kind (weather snob
talk). Rain, raindrops, pouring, drizzling, misting, fogging; just
that. Never ending. The sun may pop out, but it
rains.
Why not go out? Macs with holes don't keep you dry. I have got a
sunhat but it hasn't got a strap. Besides,
wellingtons don't keep one's hands dry.....four might....no hands
don't bend that way. There is no heal on arms.
What about the head? What about it? What about the head? What
about it? How does one keep that dry? Boil
it? Evaporate it? cook it? What! And have long wires or flexible gas
pipes to keep the oven going. Why they'd
get all tangled up in a crowded street. Think of it! Wires and
pipes everywhere, buses and cars trailing them,
running over others, supplies being cut off. No that would never
work. The ovens would go out and you'd be
gassed, unless you took them off to relight it! Then your head
would get wet, which would never do. Wouldn't
you look silly carrying an oven without your head in it?

What does one do with a whale in a pond? Whale in the pond? Whales.
Whales. A whale? Yes a whale in my 3
foot by 3 foot pond. It splashed all the water out. The rain tried
to fill it but the whale keeps splashing it all out.
No he didn't eat the goldfish. He can't reach them. They are
scattered too far away for him to reach them, and
the whale is stuck solid. So would anyone, if they had been dropped
from the sky.

Why did it have to be MY pond? MY POND? It's not a pond.
It was, but it isn't now. It's a Whale.
What do you expect me to do? Get a little chain and take it for
walkies. Who ever heard of taking a whale for
walkies? I ask you! It hasn't even got any legs. No legs. A
whale hasn't got any legs.

Poor thing. Turn it upside down and use it's water spout as
a jet, like a hovercraft. Where does it get it's
water from? Pipes. Flexible pipes? My good man. Just imagine
everyone taking their pet whales for walkies
with water pipes in their mouths, and upside down with ponds on their
tummies, and keeping above ground by a
jet of water!

Why all the pipes would get tangled up and the supplies would
get cut off and the water spouts would
stop, and the whales come tumbling down, plonk, plonk, plonk, all
over the place. 30 ton whales stopped in the
street. They couldn't get up. They'd all be laying on each other's
water pipes. What do you do then? Forget it.
What? All those whales mooning around outside? Yes! Oh, all right
then. All right then! I said all right! Yes,
so you did. Yes you did. YES.

Now go round and swap it with Unk's plaice. BUT they are
flat things. You can't see them on the
bottom. Invisible? NO, you just can't see them. Oh! they don't
take up any room. Oh that's it. Go, do a swop.
Rain! Is it rain? Really? Precipitation. Oh! The whales seemed
to have stopped. Why can't they go back to
Wales? They will be demanding "Home Rule for Whales" soon. Here
as well as in Wales. Just think about it.
Us being ruled by a bunch of blubberby whales.

It is not fair. Right! Just swop the whale for a plaice.
It's raining. Well it's not unusual. Your Mac
leaks? Well if it didn't leak there wouldn't be any water for them
to swim in, would there? Perhaps it is a Welsh Mac?(Cause of the leeks!) Mac! -

Oh yes! Swap the whale. No strap on hat, and I
have only got two wellingtons. What do I do
if it stops raining?

Wail for more? We've had our share, plus whales all
ready. Do you think? No you can't think. You
are just an imaginary , like me. I mean how can an imaginatarian
think? Imagine it. Imaginary brains thinking. I
don't think it is possible. Right! Swap the whale for a Plaice in
a leaky Mac two boots and a strapless sun hat.
Here goes........

The rain has stopped.


Chris (copyright 1962 Chris Phillips)

 

This just shows I have always been  mad  lol!

comments, if you care, or is it dare?  *SMILES*

Friday,Jul 13 2007, 06:35:17 PMFRIDAY 13th

Friday the thirteenth is a LUCKY  day!
Well I like to think of it that way.
If you think with positive  vibes,
And ignore all the silly jibes.
You can turn around those horrid fears,
And laugh at your friends and peers.
Have a wonderful day all the way.

© Chris  Phillips  Friday 13th July 2007

Monday,Jul 2 2007, 05:32:44 PM~#~NEARLY 10,000 ~#~

So WHO  will be my  TEN THOUSANDTH visitor?

Should I offer a prize?

IF so  WHAT

ALSO  the one before would be special TOO

9999

and

10001

SO  THREE  special numbers in a  row

Perhaps  big hugs?  BUT  they would have to come and collect them, in Scarborough! (UK)

*SMILES*