A PRAYER:
Dear God, I pray for wisdom to understand my man; love to forgive him; and patience to tolerate his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I may beat him to death.

Why do little boys whine?  
They are practising to be men.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Why do female black-widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
To help them remember which end they need to wipe.

What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need.
A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual'.